


Sergeant Barnes and Colonel Rogers: the Trials and Tribulations of Dating in the Workplace

by darter_blue



Series: Sergeant Barnes and Colonel Rogers: A Love Story [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Timelines, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Canon-Typical Violence, Cock Rings, Comeplay, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Endgame Fix-it of sorts, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Modern Bucky Barnes, Nomad Steve Rogers, Rope Bondage, Safe Sane and Consensual, Selfcest, Shrunkyclunks, Threesome - M/M/M, daddy Steve Rogers, steve/steve/bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 54,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darter_blue/pseuds/darter_blue
Summary: Steve and Bucky have entered into a relationship. It's contractual. It's sexual. It's not nearly nuanced enough to encompass all of what they want from each other. And to add to Steve's confusion, he now has to navigate their ever changing dynamic between work and play, between sex and affection, and between keeping his heart safe and letting Bucky in.Add to this, the arrival of more travelers from the other timeline, travelers who have far too much to reveal about Steve's buried emotions and Bucky's true feelings.Steve loves to be in control, but with all these balls in the air, something is going to fall.Just what will he decide to let go?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Sergeant Barnes and Colonel Rogers: A Love Story [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996660
Comments: 438
Kudos: 542





	1. Camp Lehigh

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.
> 
> So. This is it. Part two (okay, its technically part three because I stuck in a sneaky side fic, which is related to this series - but this fic is a direct continuation of part one [just trust me] ❤)
> 
> A few things... If you haven't read part One - I strongly recommend you do so, the plot continues almost immediately from where we left off there. This second installment of Sergeant Barnes and Colonel Rogers - A Love Story, is from Steve's POV. You'll find the tone a little different, but I'm hoping you all enjoy the slight change of pace. 
> 
> This is a seven chapter story and each chapter will break on a Sunday night (for me) - that might be anywhere from a Saturday night to a Sunday Morning for some of you - but I'll try and keep it consistent.
> 
> I LOVE to hear from you in the comments. If you want to chat more with me about this story or these characters come and find me [here](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.
> 
> This story will get explicit so mind the tags. 
> 
> Here goes...

It’s taking them too long to get to the go site in this ridiculous jet. It’s supposed to be so fast, so cutting edge, so fucking ‘Tony Stark’, and Steve is just now realizing what a piece of shit it really is. 

Bucky is sitting beside him, strapped in, geared up, looking like fucking sex on legs and all Steve can think is that he failed their first scene. He didn’t get to complete the aftercare, he didn’t get to let Bucky rest, recuperate. He didn’t get to let him fully come down from all of what they did before Fury had them flying out here, to Jersey,  _ Jersey _ of all fucking places, to check out the site of the time rip from six months ago. 

Steve could have  _ run _ to Jersey faster than this fucking jet is flying. 

Still. He can’t let this anger and frustration show on his face. It won’t do Bucky any good to see him seething. And Bucky is doing so beautifully. He’s concentrated, he’s chatting with Wanda quietly about what they might find. He is, by all accounts, unchanged by what happened not an hour ago in Steve’s apartment.

Meanwhile Steve is sitting here, silent, furious, and somehow feeling like he’ll never be the same again.

Everything went so perfectly - and nothing went right. The scene was good. Bucky signed everything appropriately, Steve is in no doubt that Bucky understands what he’s getting himself into - at least on a superficial level - but amongst all of the sex and the play - Steve let go of something that he should have kept a tight hold on.

He kissed Bucky.

He told him exactly how he had felt that first time he’d seen Bucky walk across the grounds.

He’d let his mask slip.

And he’s pretty sure - if they keep doing this - for the month that Steve has outlined in their contract - it’s only going to get worse and worse.

God, he’s done this to himself.

Still. He doesn’t have time to be worried about this now. They have no idea what they’re about to walk in on, no idea what they’re even looking for. A nightmare scenario for Steve. 

Steve nearly jumps when he feels Bucky’s knee press gently into his own. He looks up to Bucky’s face, and Bucky isn’t watching him at all, his eyes are trained on Wanda, but he nods his head subtly in the direction of the front of the jet, where _Nat_ is watching Steve. 

‘Boss?’ she asks, one eyebrow raised.

‘Repeat that for me?’ Steve asks, kicking himself for letting his mind wander. 

‘We’re a minute out, gonna put down one click from the entrance to the base, go in on foot.’

Steve nods his head. That’s what he’d ordered before wheels up, why Nat feels like she needs to repeat this to him, he has no idea (he is  _ not  _ distracted). ‘Bucky, you’re with Wanda, Nat, you’re with me.’

They’re splitting up to hit the old army base at Camp Lehigh from either side. Steve isn’t happy about it, but it's tactically advantageous to have one enhanced individual on either team, and so he’d made the call. 

Doesn’t feel so advantageous as he’s watching Bucky walk away with Wanda. 

‘You gotta trust him, Rogers,’ Nat says, voice low and even, comms switched off, ‘He’s a good agent.’

‘I know that,’ Steve snaps, before he can bite the words back, ‘I’m aware of that, Nat, thank you,’ he says more evenly, ‘I’m… I’m…’

‘Compromised?’ Nat asks.

Steve looks to her and narrows his eyes at the raised eyebrows, the innocence. All lies. ‘I have everything under control.’

‘I bet you do,’ she says and Steve would kick her if they weren’t in the middle of an op, and he didn’t value his life. 

He grumbles at her a little, but it’s short lived, They’re coming up on the base and they need their comms on - should have never switched to silent without good reason. 

It’s quiet.

Steve knows it's an old base, it’s unused. But it’s quiet in a way that's not natural. Something about the place is just  _ off _ . 

‘No heat signatures, no radio signals,’ Nat says as they search.

‘It feels wrong here,’ Wanda says over comms, and Steve goes into full alert mode at the confirmation that something isn’t right.

He sees it once they get further into the facility. And it shouldn't surprise him, but it does, when Bucky voices it before Steve gets a chance to.

‘That bunker’s against regulation,’ Bucky’s voice comes through the comms, smoky and soft.

Nat looks to Steve and he nods, ‘Army regulations forbid storing munitions within five hundred yards of the barracks.’

‘They built it wrong?’ Wanda asks, accent floating through Steve’s earpiece.

‘They built it after they shut down the barracks,’ Bucky surmises, no doubt correctly.

‘Come around to the front of the bunker, we need you on our six,’ Steve orders, and gets affirmatives from both Bucky and Wanda. 

Once Bucky and Wanda are in position, Steve pops the lock with a clean hit from his shield. They take stairs down to a huge open space, Wanda hits the lights with a thought and illuminates a sea of fluorescents across the high ceiling, the Shield insignia on the wall, rows and rows of desks, and a whole lot of dust.

'Shield?' Nat looks at Steve with that eyebrow, 'Did we know there was a Shield facility here?'

'I didn't,' Steve says, stepping further into the room. Bucky has eyes on everything but he's keeping quiet, new to the team and not privy to Shield secrets. Wanda too, wouldn't have been aware of the placement of every base.

And they should have hit this site years ago… why didn't they know about it?

'It's bigger than this,' Wanda is waving her fingers through the air like its water, 'There's more space beneath us.'

'Can you tell how much?' Steve doesn't want to jump too quickly to nefarious assumptions, but it's not looking good.

'A lot,' Wanda says, closing her eyes, tipping her head back, 'All the space, it goes down too far.'

Steve’s eyes snap to Bucky as his brain starts running scenarios, and Bucky is looking back at Steve, face unreadable, expressionless.  _ Frightening  _ in its detachment.

But his eyes are a stormy grey, his gun trained on the empty space behind Steve, and his perfect jaw is set. 

He's worried. 

Steve listens for any anomalous sounds that might point to an opening, a shaft, a secret entrance, anything that can lead them to the secrets hiding under their feet. And he hears it. Wanda must be able to feel it because they both take off in the same direction Nat and Bucky falling in behind them, keeping their bodies turned to any potential danger from their rear. 

'Elevator,' Wanda says, hands on the shelving, and Steve can see the gap in the wall where the shelving opens, pulls at the wood to break it free, and the elevator is just waiting back there for them. Opens at the press of a button.

'Do we follow the rabbit hole, boss?' Nat says, 'Should we split up, keep two here, two down?'

'Yeah, you and Wanda stay up here, I'll take Bucky. Keep comms open.'

Wanda looks like she wants to argue but doesn't voice her concern, whatever they might be. 

Nat just looks amused. 

Bucky's expression is impassive still, and Steve wants to frown at him. Wants to cross his arms and stare him down and find out what he's really thinking, but they have work to do. 

This is not the time. 

They step into the elevator and it closes with a hiss. Steve uses a piece of Tony’s tech to read the series and order of the code for the security panel but there's no buttons to request a floor. It just… goes down.

And down.

So far down. 

'Buck?'

'Hmm?' Bucky looks away from where his eyes have been fixed to the doors, over to Steve, keeping his face like marble.

'Are you… okay?' Steve clears his throat, 'Are you up for this?'

And oh, his eyes narrow at that little sentence. Steve didn't mean to imply he wouldn’t be able to handle himself. But it is interesting to see what might crack the veneer. Steve should've known not to question Bucky’s professionalism. 

Steve holds a hand up. 'I mean, I put you through the ringer today.' And he did, he really did. Bucky has to be - if not in pain, at least discomfort. 

'I've had worse, Steve.'

Steve looks at Bucky and tries not to imagine other guys he might have had it worse from. But looking at him with purpose is a bad idea, because now he can see the bruises at his throat, can see the bite marks, and the idea of anyone but Steve putting those marks on Bucky’s skin, the image of someone else with their hands on his throat, has Steve taking deep even breaths.

Bucky’s eyes are crinkling at the corners, and for the first time since they left the jet, his expression softens. ‘Injuries, a lot worse  _ injuries _ ,’ he says, shaking his head, ‘I’ve been in the army for ten years, Steve, I’ve had to deal with a lot worse than what we did and remain fully operational - believe me.’

Steve doesn’t like the way Bucky’s voice drops on the ‘believe me,’ doesn’t like to think what might have put that darkness in his eyes. But he does have to remember that Bucky is a decorated special forces operative and is, in fact, capable of looking after himself.

He doesn’t have to  _ like  _ it. 

The elevator finally stops and the doors open to a smaller room than the office above them. Or maybe it's just that the room is so cramped, filled with banks and banks of servers along the back and side walls, terminals and old printing machines form a semi circle in the middle of the floor - the technology more outdated than anything Steve has seen since waking up from the ice. And it's... eerie. The atmosphere this far underground is dank and dark, green lit from the unfortunate combination of the overhead fluorescents and the dormant screens of the monitors.

Steve wonders if maybe it's just the elephant boneyard feel of all the old tech putting him so on edge, but then he looks to Bucky, and Bucky has his gun up, stance engaged. Bucky is spooked, and Steve knows there is something more down here than just pulsing lights and computer screens.

'This doesn't feel right,' Bucky voices, as his eyes roam over the machines, 'This looks like it was built in the seventies. The furniture upstairs is not that old. Who would still be using this?'

'Maybe there's information on these old servers that couldn't be moved.'

'Then why leave them down here unprotected?' Bucky keeps his voice low and even but his eyes are darting to all corners of the room, landing on the wide semi circle desk in front of them. 'That docking station looks new, looks built to fit a flash-drive'

Steve looks down at the dock in question, nestled in next to a clunky old keyboard recessed into the giant curved slab of a terminal, surrounded by hundreds of buttons and flashing lights. There's a large monitor in the middle of the desk, though it's screen is smashed, with slightly smaller, undamaged screens to either side of it, and two more screens nestled into the terminal underneath those. And Steve has to agree that the sleek dock is far removed from the rest of the tech in the room. It's a shock when the green curser blinks to life on the left screen, in front of his face, as he's leaning in to get a closer look.

He definitely isn't prepared for the disembodied voice that follows it.

'He's quite right, Captain Rogers, your young friend is quite right.' Bucky snaps his head to Steve but Steve's eyes, for once, are fixed on the screens to the left and right of him. He knows that voice, that squeaky accent, rat like and self satisfied.

'Zola?'

'Oh, I'm honored that you remember me, Captain. Or is it Colonel now? You've been a busy boy.'

'What the fuck, Steve,' Bucky says, aiming his gun to the right screen and holding it steady.

'How?' Steve starts, 'How are you here?'

'Oh there's no time for the whole exciting story Captain' - as the voice continues, the lighting on the screen folds together into the shape of a face, Arnim Zola's face, and Steve feels his stomach roil at the idea that Zola in any form would be hidden down here in what was supposed to be a Shield facility. Maybe the  _ original  _ Shield facility by the location of the place and the organization's timeline, one Steve knows like a mantra, 'But you should know, your good friend Howard welcomed me into this administration with open arms.'

'When?' Steve asks, 'Why?' He knows he needs to rally. He needs to not let this derail him, but he’s talking to one of the most evil men on the planet. One who’s supposed to be long dead. 

Steve was privy to the experiments Zola was conducting on soldiers during the war. His first real mission as a Captain was burning his whole fucking factory to the ground. How, why would Howard have brought him into Shield?

'For my  _ mind _ , Captain. Howard knew how valuable I could be.' Zola's face is just as fucking smug as a screen full of broken pixels as it was in person. Steve wants to put his fist through it. 'He didn't plan on me uploading it into his servers though, for all his supposed intelligence, he let me siphon hydra in here one bite at a time.'

'You son of a-'

'Colonel!' Bucky says, not dropping his site or his stance, but using his voice to steal Steve's attention, 'Don't damage it.'

'Bucky this thing is a fucking monster!' Steve has his shield ready to strike through the terminal, holding it over the cacophony of buttons and dials on the desk.

'I know that, I know that, Sir, but we need him.'

Oh, that's playing dirty, using Sir on Steve like it's going to floor him _ ,  _ like he can be swayed by one little word. He does take a step back though, lets himself breathe momentarily. Maybe Bucky has a point. Still, Steve feels like he's ready to explode, anger and disgust seething under his skin. 

He thought they were done with this, they purged Shield, they disassembled everything.

'You should get Wanda down here, Sir,' Steve whips his head to Bucky at the sound of that word again, ' _ Colonel,'  _ Bucky corrects himself, 'See what she can read off him.'

Which - of course that's the right call. He's on his mic in a millisecond to do just that, 'Wanda? get down here, I'm sending Bucky up, I need you.'

'Yes, boss,' Wanda's voice comes through into his ear, 'On my way.'

'You and Nat bring the jet into the grounds, I'm betting he's alerted Hydra somehow, they'll be on their way.'

'Yes, boss,' Bucky says, the smallest hint of a smirk at the corners of his lips, but Steve can't engage, not here, not with what's at stake. Bucky is already gone anyway, the elevator taking him up to bring Wanda down, and Steve is left staring at a nightmare from his past. Green and ghostly and laughing at him.

'We're winning even now, you know,' Zola laughs, 'We were always winning.'

Steve wants so desperately to shove his shield into every computer connection in the fucking room. But he doesn't. He straightens his spine, he pushes his shoulders back. He stands to attention and narrows his eyes at the screens, and he says nothing.

'Where are your pretty words now, Captain. What soldiers do you have left to flock to your speeches?'

It's almost satisfying to ignore him. Almost.

'Your handsome young Sergeant is questioning your judgement already,' Zola continues, and laughs even louder when Steve's jaw clenches at those words. 

'You can't touch him,' Steve spits, resolve in the toilet at the mention of Bucky, 'You're stuck in a fucking computer.'

'Oh not stuck anywhere, Captain,' Zola's voice drops barely above a whisper, 'I'm  _ everywhere.' _

'Steve, don't listen to him!' Wanda calls, flying out of the elevator and into the room. She's holding her head in her hands and red sparks are circling her fingers, lighting up her ivory skin.

'Wanda,' Steve says evenly, because this doesn't look good. It’s never a good sign when Wanda starts to lose control.

'We need to get out of here, Steve, don't listen to him. He's trying to poison you.'

'Wanda, what can you read from him?'

'Bad, bad, it's all bad.' Wanda slows as she reaches the servers, starts to shrink in on herself. 'And it's not here, what we need.  _ He,'  _ She says, opening her eyes and fixing them to the right screen glowing red as they bore into Zola.. Zola's face has taken over all of them now, But Wanda shifts her eyes dead center, to the smashed screen. 'A man came through a portal here,'

'Shut up witch!'

'A man he knew... or thought he knew. He talked to him, just like he's talking to you, and the man, or you... smashed the screen?'

'It wasn't me,' Steve affirms, 'It was like that when we arrived.'

'They took him, men with guns, with electric prods, magnetic handcuffs. It took many men to subdue him.'

'You're too late!' Zola cries from behind the screen, 'They're here for you too.'

'We're in the jet, we land in 2 minutes, get up here,' Nat calls through the comms, and Steve has to grab Wanda to drag her out, she keeps her eyes fixed on Zola the whole time. Steve can feel her power running through and into him, burning, searing.

'Bank!' She shouts as they get to the elevator, 'It's something like... a bank? A vault? What is that?'

'We have to go - Wanda!' She turns to look at him finally and her eyes are powering down, 'We have to go, they're coming.'

'Yes, yes, they're coming,' She repeats, but turns back to the terminals and lifts her hands before the doors can close. Everything is crushed under a wave of power as the elevator closes and they make their way up, pushed along by the force of Wanda's magic and shuddering as they speed up and up, almost shooting out through the top of the shaft before the doors fly open and they jump out, running to the entrance and where they hope the jet is waiting for them.

'We're here, we're cloaked,' Nat says over comms, 'There's some kind of airstrike on its way, radar estimates it'll be here in seconds.'

As Wanda and Steve run into the barracks, they see the hatch of the quinjet open in front of them, and they double their speed to make it to the ramp, Wanda's feet no longer even touching the ground, they throw themselves in, the hatch closing behind them, Bucky smiling with relief at Steve as he stands by to usher them in. They take off, the jet shaky, and Bucky has Wanda by the arm, helping her to stand (Steve doesn't feel his heart flip uncomfortably at that display of affection, he does  _ not)  _ and Steve slides into his seat to get himself strapped in, narrowing his eyes at where Bucky is helping Wanda, who looks like she's ready to pass out, nose and eyes bleeding, into her seat.

'I'm okay, Bucky, I'm okay,' she says, pushing at him gently, but his brow is furrowed, his nose scrunched. It would be adorable if Steve wasn't so put off by it being directed at Wanda.

'Bucky, get your harness on,' Steve orders, 'Nat needs to book-'

He doesn't even get to finish the sentence before an explosion rocks the jet and they suddenly lose altitude, Bucky’s body is thrown upwards and his head smacks into the ceiling with force.

'Bucky!' Steve shouts, ripping his own harness off and flying to Bucky, 'Buck!'

'Shit, shit, shit,' Nat is yelling from the pilot's seat, 'I've got this, I've got it. Strap in Steve!'

But Steve is barely listening, Wanda is saying something but he doesn't hear her, he's scooping Bucky up into his arms - Bucky who is unconscious. Bleeding from the head.

'Strap fucking in Rogers!' Nat calls again, and Steve recognizes that they're still taking fire, lifts Bucky into his arms, spins around and gets him into his seat, buckling him into the harness and kneeling down in front of him to hold him up. 'Seriously, Steve?'

'He's unconscious!'

'He'll be okay, get in your seat!' Nat is shouting, which in and of itself is enough to imply they’re in trouble, and it may be the combination of Steve's stubbornness, Nat's panic, and Bucky's bleeding head wound, but Wanda has thrown her head back, has her eyes closed, her fists clenched, and the power is radiating from her in waves.

'Wanda, Nat can fly us out of this, don't push yourself!' Steve barks, one hand on Bucky's forehead and one on his chest, to keep his neck secure in case of potential spinal injury.

But Wanda isn't listening to Steve, she’s pushing herself, pushing the enemy back, and when Nat calls out, 'They’re out of range!' Wanda slumps down as much as her harness will allow and groans. A groan is at least a good sign - If she was quiet, Steve would be on full alert.

As it is, he only has space in his brain for Bucky.

And Bucky needs it all. Bucky  _ is  _ quiet. He isn't responsive to Steve's soft murmurings, to Steve's gently stroking his hair back where it has slicked to his forehead with blood and sweat. He isn't responsive to Steve pressing his lips carefully to said forehead. And Steve isn't sure what this feeling is, his heart beating too fast and the air tight in his chest, too full and he can't breathe right. It's been so long since he felt this way. Years.  _ Decades _ , he isn't sure what to do with it. 

'Steve?'

He isn't paying attention to much but what's immediately in front of him, but he's still aware of it. He can hear Nat speaking his name, he shakes his head at her when she turns to look at him.

'He's going to be fine Steve.'

'Nat,' he starts, not even sure what he's going to say next, but he's saved from doing so by Wanda's quiet voice, raspy and rough, but still so pretty.

'He is, Steve,' she says, 'He's okay.'

And if Wanda says it, it's true. It lightens the vice squeezing him, just enough that he can breathe again, he should've never let Bucky come with them, he should've made them wait to go out until they were more prepared. Had more intel. There was nothing there that couldn't have waited another hour. Another day even. He won't be making that mistake again.

Whatever this bank is can wait or be investigated by someone else. 

‘Ideal Federal Savings Bank.’

Steve looks over at Wanda, eyes closed but speaking clearly.

‘He’s at the Ideal Federal Savings Bank, somewhere in DC, Nat, can you find it?’

‘I’m on it.’

It still warms something in Steve, when he remembers he has a team now. And they’ll always have his back.

They make it back to the complex pretty quickly after that. Bucky is stirring by the time they touch down.

He rouses with a grumble, too adorable for Steve to take in without that vice in his chest loosening the last fraction.

'Steve?' his eyes are fluttering open and he tries to move forward but Steve is holding him down. Bucky makes a move to push forward before looking down into Steve's eyes and flopping back into the chair, 'Steve?' 

'Yeah, Buck, I'm here.'

'We're okay?' he asks, looking around and catching sight of Wanda sleeping next to him, of Nat getting them landed, 'We're landing?'

'Yeah, we're back at the complex.'

'Oh, did I pass out? What happened?' Bucky reaches a hand up to his head and winces, coming away, fingers wet with blood.

'You hit the roof when we took fire, but you're okay. Wanda says you're okay.' Steve pushes back on Bucky's chest as soon as he tries to press forward again, 'Uh-uh, you're getting stretchered out of here, bud, and medical will be doing every check under the sun before you're allowed to move.'

'No, it's just my head.'

'That's a direct order, Sergeant,' Steve says, pitches his voice low, even, keeps it sharp.

'Yes, Sir,' Bucky says, eyes narrowed, pupils responding to the light, 'But I'm okay, okay?'

'When I hear it from the doctors, you’ll be free.'

And Bucky rolls his eyes, but it’s a good sign - that he's cohesive enough to do so, so Steve lets it pass. Nat has already called it in, so two med staff are waiting for them when the Jet opens and they manage to get Bucky strapped down and keeping still with a minimum of complaint - and the promise that they'll have him feeling better with some nice painkillers in no time.

Wanda gets led through to medical but insists on walking, following Bucky with a hand on the stretcher.

Fury is waiting for him at the entrance, stops him with a hand to the chest as Steve tries to follow Bucky, Wanda and the med staff inside. 

'Later,' Steve says, barely sparing Nick a glance.

'No. Now,' Nick says, 'I distinctly remember hearing that this thing you two are doing would not be interfering with your work.'

'It's not,' Steve says, balling his hands into fists, 'I'm getting my teammate to the med bay, that's standard procedure.'

'Bull shit, Steve, you give me a fucking run down of what went on out there, I have two agents down and a banged up jet, do we have Hydra coming down on us? Do we need to be worried about this?'

'They wont come here, they're not strong enough.'

'How do you know?'

'They would have continued to follow us.’ Steve has been shaken by Zola, but he knows they have enough intel on Hydra - if they were massing firepower, they would know about it. ‘Jarvis' shields will keep us safe here, Tony's tech is good for something.'

'What the fuck happened in there?' 

'Zola.' Steve spits the words out like they taste foul in his mouth. They do.

'Come again?' Nick raises his eyebrow and leans his head forward.

'Arnim Zola, it was a Shield facility Nick, did you know that?' Steve looks at Nick, really looks at him for the first time since they landed, steps away from the door, giving up on going after Bucky, 'Tell me you didn't know that.'

'I didn't,' Nick says, shaking his head once, 'We hit all the facilities after Shield fell.'

'I guess not,' Steve gives Nat the side eye as she gets everything in the jet squared away, gestures for her to join them. 'Zola's consciousness had been downloaded into some kind of computer program.'

'Zola the Nazi doctor?' Nat asks.

'Zola the monster responsible for half the atrocities Hydra committed during the war.' Steve has to count to five so as not to punch a hole through the wall. Jarvis can thank him later. 'Wanda was able to get a read off him,' he skips over the gory details to get to the meat of it, 'Apparently the traveler did show up at the barracks there, and he was down in the bunker with Zola, Wanda thinks he's been moved to Washington DC.'

'Hydra has him?' Nick asks, 'Jesus, that was months ago.'

'We have to go,' Nat says, looking from Nick to Steve, 'It could be you Steve, it could be the other you.'

'No, not yet, we need more information, we're not going in half cocked again.'

'Agreed,' Nick backs him up, 'We need more intel. Get Scott, get the doc, get Bruce, lets organize a meeting, I want everything we have on this.' He looks at Steve and Steve can feel his jaw crack at how tight he's clenching it right now, 'I want a full report.'

'Nick,' Steve says, warning in his tone.

'I need a report Steve, as detailed as possible, you can write it from his bedside, but do it fast. We can't wait on this too long or they'll move him.'

And Steve wants to argue but he knows Nick is right, so he does the next best thing and turns and walks away. To the med bay. To Bucky.

It takes him thirty minutes to get it all written down while he waits for Bucky to get his scans. And another thirty minutes to talk Wanda into getting herself checked before he goes down to the meeting Nick has organized. Steve drops off his report and stays long enough to talk them into waiting a full day to move on DC. Hydra won't be able to get far, they are still under-resourced since the purge, they must have used most of what they had left to get to Lehigh with the arsenal they had, and then to fail, probably get blown out of the sky by the last of Wanda's uncontrolled energy, no they’ll be licking their wounds for a bit. The Avengers have time to make a more orchestrated attack. 

And now finally he’s back up to Bucky's bedside and ready to take him upstairs and look after him. 

'I really just want to go home,' Bucky says, now that Steve is standing over him, 'I'm dreaming about my bed.'

'No, right, of course,' Steve says. Of course he wants to be back in his own apartment. This isn't part of the contract. Nowhere does it say Bucky has to spend time with Steve when he's injured.

'I only have my bike though, do you think maybe you could give me a ride?' Bucky is looking up at him and hunching his shoulders, like he thinks Steve might say no. Like he thinks this might be asking too much of Steve. And Steve wants to wrap him up in his arms and never let go. 

Jesus.

'Yeah, yes, Bucky. I can take you, of course,' he says again, forgetting to keep his voice controlled.

Bucky's shoulders slump in relief, 'Oh good, that would be great.' He's smiling up at Steve now, and it's devastating.

'Come here, give me your arm,' Steve says, and Bucky complies without thought, reaching out his elbow for Steve to grab and lift him to standing, 'Do you need anything from here before we go?'

'Nah, I just want to get home.' 

So that's what they do. Steve steals some keys and bundles Bucky into the nicest car Tony has in the garage. He drives more carefully than he's ever driven before to get to Bucky's apartment in Brooklyn. Brooklyn. It's crazy that that's where Bucky is living. Not two streets from where Steve grew up - two streets and eighty years. Life can be like that sometimes.

It takes Steve ten minutes to find a park and when he pulls over Bucky looks over at him from where his head is resting between the seat and the window (Steve wants to tell him to sit up straight, but now is not the time). 'Would you like to come up?'

Steve wants to yell that of course he's fucking coming up, he was never going to let Bucky walk up to his apartment on his own, but Bucky is looking at him with eyebrow's raised, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, hands wringing in his lap, and Steve has to fight down the urge to melt into the leather of Tony's ridiculous car seats. 'Yes, Buck, I'd love to come up.'

Bucky's responding smile is like the sun. 'You'll get to meet Alpine.'

'Can't wait.' He can. He can wait. Steve is  _ not _ a cat person.

The building is old, lived in, and Bucky's floor is four flights up, no elevator. 

'Let me carry you,' he says as soon as he sees the narrow wooden staircase.

'Absolutely not.'

'Bucky.'

'Steve, no.'

'Okay, please let me at least help you, put your arm over my shoulders.'

'I'm not sure my arm even fits over those shoulders.'

'This is no joke, Son, put your arm over my shoulders and let me help up to your floor.'

Steve gets a certain amount of enjoyment out of the way Bucky's eyes widen at the word 'son,' the way he swallows too loudly. And he manages not to smile too wide when Bucky forgets to argue further and just slides his arm over Steve's shoulders to let him essentially carry him up the stairs anyway. Bucky's feet barely touch the ground the whole way. 

  
  


It's not till they get to the apartment that Steve begins to understand the implications of this little adventure into Bucky's private space. His home. And it's obvious, from the moment he carries Bucky through the entrance, that his apartment is a home in a way that Steve's apartment at the tower has never felt to him.

It's cluttered, and colourful, and loud.

It's also a fucking mess. And Bucky is extracting himself from Steve's side as soon as they make it more than three steps in.

'Ah, so, this is not... this is a bit... I ah, haven't quite found the time to straighten the place out lately, It's been a bit of a whirlwind,' he says, looking around the room, taking quick steps from the coffee table to the kitchen to clear a few plates and mugs. He grabs clothes off the back of the lounge and a cereal bowl from the floor. He kicks shoes across the floor to a rack he has by the door. It's chaos. Steve doesn't know how anyone can live like this. And yet he's stabbed with a kind of jealousy he hasn't felt in so long. Bucky belongs here. He's made this space an extension of himself. And it's comfortable. 

Steve doesn't have that. He hasn't had that in a really long time.

It's fun, actually, watching Bucky get himself in a state about the mess. The way he looks back at Steve and panics at what must be a great show of disapproval. The way he brings forward the picture of a young woman who looks enough like Bucky that they could be related. Doesn't bother to make any move to cleaning the mess off the cat tree - an element of furniture he clearly has no power over. 

It would be a lot more fun if Steve wasn't here for a reason. And that reason is to get Bucky to  _ rest _ . It's to watch over Bucky and make sure that finally he gets the care Steve should have properly given him  _ hours _ ago.

So Steve clears his throat and interrupts Bucky mid way through shoving a pile of laundry into his hamper. And when he looks up, a flash of white fur runs out from under the double bed and to Bucky's feet, climbing him like a tree and finding purchase on his shoulders. Sitting there, staring holes through Steve who is still just three feet into the apartment. 

'Oh, hey princess,' Bucky says, turning his head to the cat and reaching a hand up to pat down her fluffy white neck and back, 'I thought you would be with Frank today?'

Steve doesn't ask who 'Frank' is, but mostly because he is assessing the threat levels of the small demon now plotting his demise.

'Steve, this is Alpine!' Bucky says, taking a step towards Steve. Who takes a step back, 'My neighbor must have come by to feed her today and leave again.' Bucky takes another step towards Steve but stops as Steve takes yet another step back. 'You don't want to meet her?'

'No thank you,' Steve says, breaking into his Captain’s voice like a default, 'I’m... not really a cat person.'

'Oh.' And Steve realizes his mistake as soon as he sees Bucky's face fall. 'Oh, that's okay. Sure.' And he gracefully plucks Alpine from his shoulder to set her on the ground back in his bedroom and shuts the door. 'I'll um... I'll get her out when you go, I guess.'

'No it's fine,' Steve says. Partly to try and salvage this terrible error in judgement and partly because he doesn't actually plan on going anywhere any time soon, 'You don't have to put her away, I just... would prefer not to pet her. If that's okay.'

And Steve sighs in relief (surreptitiously... hopefully) when Bucky's shoulders drop and he smiles. 'Oh good, I'll just. It's been a long day. I might get her some food and a treat and then um... would you like a coffee? Or... I have beer?"

'How about you sit down and I'll get  _ you _ something.'

'Steve, no.'

'Bucky. Please sit down and rest. For me,' Steve says, he softens his tone but he keeps his voice low, gets rewarded by the way Bucky bites his lip, 'Would you do it for me, Buck?'

'Yeah, okay,' he says, and he sinks into the raggedy, blue couch with a sigh, 'Thanks, Steve.'

'Good boy.' He does get a little thrill from the way Bucky preens at the praise. 'I'm going to guess that they didn't give you anything to eat up in medical, so let me see what you have in the frid-'

'Oh no Steve I wouldn't go in there!'

'-ge. Bucky what is this?' Steve is looking into a void as soon as he gets the door open. The fridge is empty but for a six pack of beer (one bottle missing) and a small stack of what are probably out of date condiments shoved in the back corner. 'You live like this?'

'I mean not normally?' Bucky says, one arm over the back of the couch, turned to watch Steve at the fridge, 'I promise I'm normally much better than this, it's just been so busy and I've been a little... distracted.' Steve notes the lovely rose blush that sneaks its way into Bucky's cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. 

'Okay, I'm going to let this slide because we haven't discussed any of this yet, but Bucky - this is not acceptable.'

'Steve-'

'Let me finish please,' Steve says, hand up to cut Bucky off, 'If you're serious about doing this with me, you need to be looking after yourself. The work we do, the job you have... It would be tough on anybody, Bucky, and then to put yourself into a physically demanding sexual relationship with me,' Steve notices the way Bucky's jaw ticks at that last sentence, but he ignores it for now, 'You have to be at your peak fitness. You can't do that if you aren't eating right, not looking after yourself.'

Bucky looks at him and narrows his eyes just a fraction. Flares his nostrils. 'That makes sense,' he says, waiting a beat too long, 'I'm sorry, I'll make sure to get it stocked as soon as I have a free day.'

'No need,' Steve turns away from Bucky and to his phone as he speaks, to hunt down the nearest grocer that will deliver this late in the afternoon - putting in an order for some pantry staples and fresh fruit and vegetables. 'How about I organize some take out tonight and we worry about later, later.'

'Really? You don't mind?'

'I don't mind,' Steve says, and gets Bucky a glass of water from the tap while he places the grocery order, researches the nearest, best rated take out that won't upset Bucky's stomach if he has a concussion - will let him sleep well and heavily. 'Here, drink this. Do you have any food allergies?'

Bucky raises an eyebrow at the question but shakes his head to indicate no. 

'Anything you're particularly averse to?'

'No, I'll eat pretty much anything.' 

'Good. That's good. Okay food is on its way. Put your feet up here,' Steve reaches down to gently lift Bucky's feet and place them on the coffee table on top of a gingham blue cushion from the couch, 'I'm just going to make myself a coffee.'

'You sure you don't want me to get it?'

'Sit Bucky, rest,' Steve says as he stands and survey's the area.

'Steve-'

Steve looks back down at Bucky and reaches over to card a hand through Bucky's beautiful hair, running over the fresh scar he can feel from his head smacking the roof of the jet. Steve has to close his eyes to the mental image and fights not to wince. 'Please rest. Let me take care of you, okay? I want to.'

'Okay,' Bucky says quietly, reaching his head up into Steve's hand, following it as Steve pulls away, 'I'm sorry. I said I would, I will. I'll be good.'

'Good boy. Just close your eyes for a bit okay? I'll be here.'

'Steve?'

'Hmm?'

'Could you let Alpine out of the bedroom? And get her some food? It's in the top cupboard over the fridge.' Steve looks over at Bucky from where he’s moved into the kitchen, and knows that he can't say no to the way Bucky is looking back at him. He's helpless to those blue-grey eyes.

'Sure,' Steve says, turning back to the cupboard and opening it to find it stacked full of expensive looking cat food (it’s in pouches, not tins. When did they stop making cat food in tins?) and he isn't sure whether to be pleased or upset, that the cat seems to be so much better looked after than Bucky himself. 'Any one of these?'

'Yep, they're all her favorites.'

Steve pulls down a pouch, some kind of chicken and organic root vegetables - ridiculous for a fucking cat, but what does Steve know - and manages to rip it open without losing half the food. He spots the bowl on the floor in the kitchen and empties the food into it, fills up the other bowl with fresh water while he's at it, and then ventures over to stand by the bedroom door. Steeling himself to open it and let out the biggest competition to Bucky's affections that Steve will probably ever have to face. 

And as soon as he opens the door she comes running out, jumps onto Bucky on the couch and curls up into his lap. It's cute actually, in a demonic way, and she keeps her eyes on Steve the whole time he moves quietly around the apartment, tidying, doing the dishes, putting on a load of laundry, dusting, and just squaring things away to their most logical locations while Bucky dozes, one hand buried in Alpine's fur, the other tucked under his thigh. 

By the time the food arrives, Steve has gotten the place to the state of organization that he would like it kept - deciding he won't tell Bucky that until later, after he's had dinner and a chance to properly rest. And Steve is aware that he didn't achieve exactly what he set out to achieve here today. This wasn't aftercare, this was just care. But he's going to wake Bucky up to eat, help him get into his sleep clothes, tuck him in, probably against Steve's chest (it will be a tight fit, in that little Bed, but that's something Steve is looking forward to, truth be told), and he can keep an eye on him overnight, let him sleep and monitor him for any signs of a concussion.

In the morning he can make breakfast. Maybe wake Bucky up with soft kisses to his eyelids, slide down his beautiful body to his cock and suck Bucky down nice and gently, keep him still, fingers gripping those gorgeous thighs, and give Bucky the perfect morning before they have to go back in and face the world again. And what might be waiting for them in DC.

Yes. Steve has always been a man with a plan.

  
  
  



	2. A Soft Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is waking up, still dressed in his jeans and his undershirt, his body hanging half off the mattress, to a sight he could die happily having been graced with. A near naked Bucky, smooth olive skin, kissed by the sunlight filtering in through the curtains, the comforter having curled down in the night to sit low on his stomach, dark hair teasing Steve as it trails down under the blankets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few new tags. A little Angst. But overall, a lighter chapter... to gift you with some sweetness
> 
> ❤

The morning starts off a little differently for Steve than he's used to.

For one, Steve wakes to find the sun has been up for a while. He's usually awake well before sunrise, to lumber his way around the grounds on his morning run. But here, by the time he peels his eyes open, light is spilling through the sheer curtains of Bucky's bedroom window and across the bed, bathing them in a golden haze.

Which highlights the second difference; that he isn't alone. A pretty significant change to routine. Steve has been waking up alone for as long as he can remember - but this morning, after having spent most of the night tucked up tight against Bucky in his too small bed, he had fallen asleep around the warmth of the body in his arms, the safe, slow heartbeat, the steady rhythm of Bucky's breathing.

And he's now waking up, still dressed in his jeans and his undershirt, his body hanging half off the mattress, to a sight he could die happily having been graced with. A near naked Bucky, smooth olive skin, kissed by the sunlight filtering in through the curtains, the comforter having curled down in the night to sit low on his stomach, dark hair teasing Steve as it trails down under the blankets. 

Steve takes his time coming fully back to consciousness, drinking in the sight of all this perfection on display. He lifts his head up onto his hand, resting on his elbow, and turns on his side to look down at Bucky unreservedly. Bucky shifts in his sleep, rolling into Steve, tucking himself up into Steve's chest until his hair is tickling Steve's nose, and Steve runs his other hand over the soft warm skin under his fingertips, soothed by the gentle rise and fall of Bucky's breath. And he wants to hold tighter. He wants to clutch at Bucky, bind him to Steve. Keep him. He wants to keep this, all of this, as if it were real.

But this is above and beyond the terms of their agreement. This is outside the scope of what Bucky has signed up to. And Steve doesn't know where he stands here, like this. He doesn't know how much he's allowed to touch. And so he pulls his hand back to rest on his own hip, fingers twitching, aching for what they're being denied.

The action of pulling away seems enough to wake Bucky, who stretches without opening his eyes, arching his back and pushing his chest into Steve, his eyes finally snapping open at the resistance he finds there. He blinks twice before smiling wide, his face lighting up at the sight of Steve looking down at him.

'Hey,' Bucky says, voice husky and warm

'Morning,' Steve replies, 'How you feeling?'

'Hmmm...' Bucky closes his eyes and scrunches his nose in thought. 'Good, I think. A bit sore.'

'Your head?' Steve cranes his neck to look at the top of Bucky's head, his hair a mess, sticking up every which way.

'Yeah, and neck a little,' Bucky lifts a hand up to Steve before he can interrupt, 'Which Doctor Cho said would be totally normal and I could just take ibuprofen.'

'Do you have ibuprofen?' Steve asks, knowing he hadn't ordered any in the delivery last night, assuming the med team had given Bucky a script for something.

'Yeah, she gave me a bottle, it's probably in my pocket from yesterday,' Bucky reaches up a hand to his hair and winces, 'Oh  _ god _ .'

'What, what's wrong.'

'My hair is  _ gross _ ,' Bucky hides his head behind both hands, 'They washed it with some generic shampoo to get the blood out yesterday and I totally forgot about it.'

Steve looks at Bucky, hiding behind his hands. Because of his hair. 'Is that... don't you normally use shampoo when you wash your hair?' He doesn't really understand the problem.

'Yes, but  _ good  _ shampoo. And I  _ condition _ it Steve, I'm not a heathen.'

Steve doesn't actually dignify that with a response. Well, not more than raising one judgemental eyebrow at him.

'You can't not condition after you wash, Steve, that’s criminal! It would leave your hair a fucking bird's nest!'

Steve is looking down at Bucky and he's trying not to laugh, he really is, but it's not an easy thing. Not apart from the fact that his hair does look amazingly like a birds nest, Steve's never seen Bucky this impassioned about anything - and it's  _ shampoo _ of all things. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. It's ridiculous in a way that Steve is lost to understand why he finds so appealing. But maybe it's just the glimpse into a more playful side of Bucky than he's been privy to.

It certainly highlights how little he really knows about Bucky. About this Bucky, this at-home, bed-headed,  _ comfortable _ , Bucky. And now that he's seen it he wants more.

'Okay, how about this,' Steve says, pulling Bucky's hands gently away from his face, 'I had plans for you this morning-'

'You did?' Bucky perks up at that tidbit, eyes widening.

'I did, but I'm amending them somewhat, because I think you might like to have a shower and do your whole... routine' - Steve waves a hand over Bucky's hair to indicate the routine in question -'before we get up and have breakfast and get back to Fury before he has a coronary.'

'I mean, yeah, I'd like to have a shower - but I kinda really wanna hear about your plans...'

'I'm serious about wanting you to take it easy, so nothing draining. I'd just really like to get my mouth on you-' Steve does love to watch the way Bucky swallows whenever he starts to talk about sex - 'if you'd be up for it.'

Bucky nods his head, not bothering to ask in what capacity Steve would like to use said mouth.

'Why don't you go do what you need to do, hair-wise, and I'll get breakfast started.'

'Omelettes?' Bucky asks, and Steve wishes he could take a picture of that look on Bucky's face, so innocently joyful.

'Sure, champ, I can do omelettes.'

'Okay, but do I still get the other thing?'

'You mean, am I still going to suck your pretty cock while you eat your eggs like a good boy?'

Bucky's mouth snaps shut and he nods his head, perhaps more enthusiastically than he should be nodding with a possible concussion.

'Use your words, baby, don't nod so hard.'

'Yeah, yes, Steve, Sir, I meant that... do I still get that?'

'You do,' Steve says with a smile, and Bucky is biting on those damn lips again, getting them pinker and wetter than they have any right to be, Steve does something without thinking it through, he leans down and presses his lips gently to Bucky’s. Steve’s hand, fidgeting and waiting so long to reach out, to touch, falls happily onto Bucky's hip. His thumb rubs circles over the bone there, so prominent and delicious. He sinks into the warmth of Bucky’s lips, sucking on them softly, teasing at them with his tongue, and then pulls away with a sigh.

It tugs at something in Steve when Bucky tries to follow him. Tries to kiss him again. But Steve puts a hand to his shoulder to stop his momentum.

'Uh-uh,' he shakes his head, 'No more, we're already running late. Let’s get you in the shower, get you ready for today.'

'Right,' Bucky says, 'Ready...'

'Come on.' Steve climbs up from the too small bed gracefully, gripping Bucky under the arm to help him up, make sure he's not dizzy.

'Steve, I'm really fine,' he says lightly, not pulling away from where Steve is holding him, letting Steve keep him steady as he sits up and then stands up from the bed. 'I've had so much worse.'

'You keep saying that like you think it's going to make me feel better,' Steve says, and Bucky laughs.

'Sorry, sorry, I'm just not used to having anyone fussing over me.' Which is a shame in Steve's opinion. But also a fact he guards closely for some reason. Like a treasure he wants to keep for himself.

Bucky takes a few steps on his own and holds his arms up, as if to say 'see? fine!' and Steve has to concede that he probably is. He slept well and his speech is fine. He doesn't seem overly sensitive to the sunlight that's now bright in the small bedroom. So he nods and watches Bucky walk into the ensuite as a white streak races out from under the bed and across the floor into the bathroom with Bucky. Giving Steve the smuggest look Steve has ever seen on anyone, much less a  _ cat _ as the door closes her in with Bucky.

And before Steve can go anywhere, Bucky is poking his head out the door again to look at Steve, 'Did you need to use the bathroom before me?'

'No, thank you though Buck, I'm fine.'

'Okay,' Bucky smiles, shifts his focus from Steve to the floor and his smile grows, he speaks some nonsense to the cat as he shuts the door to Steve and leaves him. Which is fine.

Steve can go make breakfast. This will be no problem. He’s not jealous of a furball. 

He gets into the kitchen and finds what he needs, having tidied up the night before, he has a pretty good idea of where everything is. The groceries he ordered are put away in the fridge, so he finds and arranges the food on the limited counter space. He pulls a knife from the rack (very good knives, he makes note) and gets to work preparing the produce.

Steve gets lost in the repetition of the tasks, of the precision of his cuts, in the recipe as he follows it, structure, routine, all the things that keep Steve sane, keep him safe. He might be off this morning, though it's in ways that have mostly delighted him, and this small task helps to calm his brain. Until Bucky comes out of the bedroom in just a towel. His hair slicked back and shiny with some kind of oil, wet enough to be running down his chest, travelling through the dark hair there, over his stomach, those beautifully defined muscles with enough softness to make Steve want to sink his teeth in, make him want to pull Bucky to him and hold him.

Except Bucky is stepping into the open space of the apartment - and taking his first real look around since Steve had tidied the place up last night.

'Steve...' he says, moving his eyes from the ordered shoes in the rack at the door, to the dishes that have been put away, the clutter that's been ordered, 'What... did you do this?'

Steve looks back at Bucky and takes stock of what he's looking at. Bucky's body is a distraction, so he looks him in the eyes. Eyes that are wary. Eyes that are questioning Steve's choices.

It strikes Steve that this is possibly the first time he’s ever done so… and Steve is not a fan of this feeling. But he also recognises that he has to tread carefully. Because this is not something they've discussed. And technically Steve had done all of this without negotiating it with Bucky first. And he knows that was a mistake.

He hadn't weighed that in his mind last night at  _ all. _ His brain had just got stuck on the idea that he needed everything to be perfect for Bucky... and had gone about making it that way. No care for the idea that Bucky's perfect and Steve's perfect are probably two very different things...

'I did,' he says, but not in his Captain's voice, in his real voice. His Steve voice. Not so low, not so commanding. Just... Steve.

'I... I mean, thank you,' Bucky says, but his intonation is off, 'You didn't have to...'

'I was trying to make it easier for you to rest,' Steve says, not moving from where he is, knife still in his hand - he puts it down on the counter, 'But I didn't think to ask your permission. I should have done that and I'm sorry Buck.'

And Bucky's frown dissipates at Steve's apology, his face softens. 'Oh, it's okay, I guess it's not a big deal,' and he moves closer, walking casually across the apartment and up next to Steve, as if he's totally unaware of how devastating he is wet and naked and leaning in so close to Steve right now, ‘It’s honestly not usually that messy.’

'How would you feel about us putting this in your contract?' Steve says, while he's on a roll.

And then he realises it's a mistake as soon as Bucky narrows his eyes. 'Put what in the contract?'

Steve clears his throat, 'The apartment, the mess...' and Steve's going for his Captain voice this time. Going for it and missing... clearing his throat again as Bucky takes a step back.

'You want to put how messy the apartment is in the contract?'

'I want you to be looking after yourself Bucky.'

'And what... you get to punish me if it's not clean enough?'

'I mean...' Steve is wrong footed here, Bucky has been so good about everything up till now... He hadn't balked at restraints, or the choking, hadn't batted an eye at Steve being privy to his medical clearance or the punishments that had been outlined in the contract. It's... he doesn't fully understand why this is his hard line. And he doesn't know how to get himself out of this hole... 'That's part of the dynamic of this relationship.'

'Okay,' Bucky has now crossed his arms over his still wet, still naked chest, like he's removing himself from Steve's view, like  _ Steve _ is being punished now, 'Orange.'

And the world slams into Steve like a punch. 'What?'

'Orange. That's a thing right? I read about that, in the stuff you gave me.'

'You... Yes, it's a thing' Steve nods, like he's fine, he's fine, 'It's something we can talk about. You want... What does it mean to you Buck, to use that word.'

'That I don't love this. But I'm not saying no, necessarily.'

'Okay,' Steve nods again, taking a deep breath, 'Okay, thank you for telling me.' Steve can hear the pan getting too hot and turns away to take it off the heat, 'Do you think we could sit down and talk about it later?'

Bucky looks again at the counter, looks over the food prepared there and then back to Steve and his narrowed eyes soften. 'Later?'

'Later. In the car maybe. We'll have plenty of time.'

'Okay, we can talk about later, but let me say this... I like the idea of the punishments as a game.' And Bucky is stepping closer again, which lets Steve breathe even easier, allows him to listen carefully. Bucky deserves his full attention, 'I don't want them to refer to anything real - does that make sense?'

Steve nods, again, just bobbing his head like a dog on a dashboard, 'I think so.'

'I want it to be play, like the scenes, like the bondage, it's not real, it's a metaphor, right? For care and safety and maybe control, but you don't own me, Steve.'

Steve swallows, watching the fire in Bucky's eyes, listening to him lay this out so perfectly, it has him feeling all kinds of things and probably none of them are appropriate to interrupt Bucky with at this moment. 'I don't.'

'So I'd like that to go into the contract, if you agree... that the punishments are not for real things. They're a game. And you can't judge me for the way I live here. This is my home, and I do my best, and sometimes it slips, but this is all just stuff, Steve. It's allowed to.'

And god. Steve is struck by that in a way that blindsides him.

He keeps his life so contained, so controlled, down to the minutia. It's just a part of him now. Nothing is ever allowed to slip.

When did that happen?

'Steve?'

'Yes?' Had Bucky been saying something else?

'Are you upset?'

'I'm... not. I'm just... it's something to think about. Talk about,' he says, before Bucky can correct him, 'And we will. But let me cook these omelettes, I can have a shower when we get back to the compound.'

Bucky watches him, those blue grey eyes full of some feeling Steve doesn't fully recognise. 'Does this change things for you?'

'No.' Steve doesn't even blink. 'Like I told you yesterday, you tell me when you don't like something and we move on. If you don't want the punishments to be for real things, we negotiate it out of the contract.' He moves into Bucky and puts his hands on Bucky's bare shoulders. 'You should never feel worried to tell me when you're not happy about something. I'm glad you were honest with me. And I'm...' Steve has to swallow down his nerves, because Bucky  _ has  _ been so honest - Steve needs to be the same in return, 'I'm kind of impressed with you right now, I gotta say.' And the smile Bucky gives him is more reward than he deserves, 'You're not afraid of what you want. That's pretty damn hot.'

Bucky leans back against the counter and crosses his arms again. But this time instead of looking defensive, it looks like he's preening. Drawing attention to his firm round biceps, his strong shoulders, narrower than Steve's, but built with years of training to hold a gun steady for hours. And, in a move that’s surely orchestrated to lighten the mood, he moves to steal some of the shredded cheese from the pile Steve has ready for the omelettes. And Steve gives him the look he knows Bucky wants, he raises one eyebrow and lowers his chin.

'Son,' - and oh, Steve will never get tired of the way that makes Bucky shiver - 'You better not be thinking about stealing that.'

And Bucky looks at him from beneath those dark lashes, such a beautiful face, all classic bone structure and plump pink lips, 'I would never, Daddy.'

And Steve doesn't mean to let it warm him the way that it does, let it thrill him the way that it does, but he can't help it, and he doesn't want to. 'That's my good boy,' he says, low and slow, leaning into the counter and crowding Bucky in, gets his face nice and close, his nose just an inch from Bucky's, and then closes the distance to speak softly into his ear, lips against Bucky’s skin, ‘Always such a good boy for me, baby.’

And Bucky sighs into the contact, whispers back with a breathless, 'Yes, daddy,' closing his eyes until Steve has stepped all the way back. And Steve has to fight not to abandon the breakfast and just press him into the bench, pin his arms down and bite at his throat, open his legs and slide between them… because that’s not on the cards for today. 

(But he keeps the idea in his mind for future use).

'Go sit down, I'll bring you your breakfast when it's ready,’ he says instead, watching with regret as Bucky pushes off the bench to take a seat at the table. And Steve can be forgiven for swatting him on the ass with his spatula as Bucky walks away. He especially enjoys the cute little yelp that escapes him as Steve does.

He cooks on auto pilot, watches Bucky the whole time, watches him feed Alpine her treats from his chair. Watches the way he scratches her behind the ears, the way she leans into his hand to get as much of his touch as she can. Steve can relate. He would (and plans to) do the same.

When he brings Breakfast over, it's just one large omelette and a bowl of fresh berries. And Bucky looks at it with his nose adorably scrunched as Steve puts in on the table. 

'We're going to share it,' Steve explains.

'Oh,' Bucky says, 'Okay, sure.'

'I'm going to feed you,' Steve says, 'I know we don't have your collar yet, but if we did have one, I would have put it on you straight out of the shower. Would you have liked that baby?'

'Yes, yes,' Bucky nods, 'I would.'

'And would you consent to playing a bit with me now, before we have to go be heroes for the day?'

Bucky smiles at that, 'I would. I do.'

'Okay, good. Could you stand up for me, baby?'

Bucky doesn't answer, but he stands without hesitation, graceful in his compliance.

Steve watches Bucky watch him while he cuts the omelet into bite size pieces. He takes the first bite slowly with the fork, dragging his lips over it, remembering Bucky's face from dinner the other night, the way he had looked as if he wanted to eat Steve whole - or  _ be _ eaten. And the expression on his face doesn't disappoint now. His pupils have dilated and he's licking and biting his lips again. He's staring at Steve's mouth and Steve is letting his movements stay languid and warm. He loves this part. The part where he gets to watch Bucky get more and more frazzled as he gets more aroused. It's beautiful, how fully he wears his attraction. Simply can't hide it, it's too big, there's too much.

Steve eats another bite for himself and then stands as he swallows, stepping into Bucky's space when he feels something soft brush against his leg. When he looks down he sees the cat winding her way through his legs.

'She needs breakfast,' Bucky says softly.

'Can I give it to her in your bedroom?'

'Bucky nods, 'Yeah, that would be okay,' he says, voice still soft, but smiling.

'You just wait right here,' Steve says, 'On your knees.'

It's beautiful to watch him slide like liquid to the carpet, eyes on Steve as Steve dashes into the kitchen to get another pouch of cat food from its cupboard, empties it into her bowl and carries the whole thing, including her water bowl, into the bathroom in Bucky's bedroom. The cat looks between Steve and Bucky and seems to be weighing up her options. But she's smart, she picks the food - following Steve out of the room and into a safe space. Steve shuts the door to the bedroom and sidles his way back to sit in the seat in front of where Bucky is kneeling. 'Now, where were we...'

'Eating?' Bucky says, almost hopefully, and Steve's intention  _ is _ to feed him - he would never let him go hungry on purpose. So he forks a bite size piece, holds it up to Bucky's mouth, lets him open his mouth and allows the fork inside. Pulls it free slowly to watch it drag through Bucky's lips. Bucky closes his eyes to the buttery eggs, and Steve grabs him by the hair with his free hand, pulling it just a little.

'Don't close your eyes, remember, baby? You keep them open for me - watch me.'

'Yes, Sir.'

Steve lets go of Bucky's hair, feeds him another bite, fascinated by the bone structure of his perfect jaw as it works around the food. Steve feeds Bucky again, and has two more bites for himself, keeping his movements slow, letting Bucky get more and more worked up as he watches Steve, even more worked up as Steve feeds him, guides the fork into his open mouth with care. He keeps track of how many bites, making sure to feed Bucky enough calories for the morning. And when he's satisfied he puts the fork down, 'Okay up.'

Bucky rocks back onto his feet and stands up to his full height in one smooth motion.

Steve stands up with him, slides his hands down Bucky's sides, stopping when he gets to the towel and then slips his fingers in between the fabric and Bucky's smooth olive skin. He leans in to Bucky, crowding into his space again, using his bulk to close around him, and he takes Bucky's mouth, opening it up with his lips and tongue, pressing gently against Bucky. He uses his fingers to pull the towel away from Bucky's body and toss it onto the couch. 'Do you think you can feed yourself the strawberries, baby boy?'

Bucky doesn't even look to the fruit, just nods his head, keeping his eyes on Steve, 'Yes, daddy.'

'Good, I want you to finish that fruit baby, can you do that for me?'

'Yes, Sir.'

'Good boy,' and Steve reaches up to run a hand through Bucky's drying hair, smooth with something that smells of coconut and vanilla. He runs his hands down the back of Bucky's neck and around to the front of his chest, sliding his hands down Bucky's body as he sinks down to his knees, down his ass and the backs of his gorgeously thick thighs, then down to the back of his knees to pull gently and maneuver Bucky into sitting back down in the chair, 'That's my good boy, okay, sit back for me.'

And Bucky does as asked, sitting back into the chair, pushing his pelvis forward, his cock already hard, standing straight up for Steve, so nice and ready for him.

Steve strokes his hands along the tops of Bucky's thighs, back and forth, and then leans his face into Bucky's groin, nuzzling up the side of his cock, and gets his lips to the tip, kissing it softly and drawing a low moan from Bucky. 'Don't forget to keep eating your fruit, baby.'

'No, Sir, I won't, I didn't.'

'Good boy,' Steve rewards him by sucking the tip of his cock into his mouth, licking into the slit and then pulling off, leaving it wet and sticky.

'Oh god,' Bucky arches his back a little, rocks his cock up to follow Steve's mouth. And Steve knows Bucky isn't going to eat but he can forgive him this once, taking a strawberry and kneeling taller to slide the fruit into Bucky's mouth with his fingers, Bucky sucking them into his mouth, rolling his tongue around them, as Steve draws them out again slowly.

He slides back down, kissing Bucky's chest as he does, taking one perfect dark pink nipple into his mouth and clamping it between his teeth, just to hear the sound Bucky makes when he does, just to feel his body vibrating underneath Steve’s hands with tension. He could spend a whole day like this. 

Yesterday was amazing, it was everything that Steve loves about scenes, the power and the control, taking a sub to pieces and making a mess of them, to clean them up, put them back together, make them better.

But this isn't that. This is... this is Steve just wanting to touch Bucky. Wanting to feel the softness of him, warm him and be warmed. This is Steve on his knees for Bucky, and it's better somehow. Less, but more.

Steve doesn't have time to get lost in it though, Bucky is so hard, has his hands in Steve's hair, gripping it between his fingers, holding on. He's rocking his hips slowly into Steve and Steve wants to keep him here, riding this edge, but they just don't have time.

So Steve moves away from Bucky's chest, kissing down his stomach, following the trail of hair that so teased him earlier, down to the thatch of it, thick and dark, at Bucky's groin, and runs his tongue along the length of his cock, to taste him, to tease him. He gets the reaction he's looking for, pressing his hands down firmly on Bucky's thighs to stop him thrusting up into Steve’s mouth like he wants to. Steve digs his fingers into the flesh there, remembering the marks he's already left on Bucky, each one catalogued in his memory, and imagines how beautiful these will be when they're done. Ten little bruises, splayed out across these fucking gorgeous thighs. He wants to draw it.

He looks up to Bucky's face looking down at him, watching him, lips between his teeth again and he smiles, 'Don't move now, baby boy, I'm going to hold you down,'

'Yes, daddy,'

'And I'm going to make you come down my throat, you can do that, can't you baby?'

Bucky nods erratically, his eyes wide, 'Yeah, yes, yes, I can do it, I can do that.'

'So good for your daddy, baby, so good,' and Steve gets his mouth over Bucky's cock to sink all the way down, until his nose is buried in his groin, soft and salty and so delicious. He pulls back, sucking, stroking with his tongue, right to the tip and then slides all the way back down again.

He can feel Bucky gripping his hair, he can feel how tightly he's holding his own body, the rigidity of his core, desperate to be good, not to fuck up into Steve's mouth, and Steve loves it, how hard Bucky's trying, the effort he's exercising, for Steve, to make Steve happy, and Steve can feel himself getting hard but ignores it for now, keeps his attention on his baby boy, on giving him this, making him feel good, rewarding him for standing up for himself. For being so honest. For trusting Steve to listen and let him be heard.

( _ Oh _ , he feels that in his chest, deep in there where he doesn't like to go, how much he loves that Bucky  _ trusts _ him).

He sucks Bucky into his mouth, slides up and down his cock, licking and sucking and using just a little of his teeth, just enough to scrape, just a hint of the danger Steve presents - and Bucky moans into it. He clenches harder with his fingers, his thighs, under Steve's hands, and Steve can tell that he's close. The noises he's making, the way his body shakes with the pressure, Steve digs his fingers into the meat of him, draws Bucky as far into his mouth, down his throat, as Bucky will go, holds him there with his teeth and that's it, it's enough, Bucky is coming, hot and fast down Steve's throat. Steve breathes through his nose - barely needing the oxygen, just out of habit - and drinks it down. Lets it fill him up, lets Bucky fill him, doesn't pull off until he's milked every last drop. And Bucky slumps back into the chair, his muscles letting go, melting into it like butter.

Steve stands up and over Bucky, leans into his space, crowding him, and pulls his own hardening cock out of his jeans. He wets his hand with his tongue, a mixture of saliva and Bucky's come, and starts to stroke his hand down, tight, hard, slick - twisting his wrist and running his thumb under the foreskin. Bucky is looking up at him, up from under those pretty lashes, hair drying into a fluffy mess on his head, lips red and swollen from his own teeth, dick not yet fully soft and still wet from Steve's mouth. The bruises are starting to come up on his thighs, there are teeth marks around his nipple, the marks from yesterday’s scene are still around his neck, up his jaw, and just the picture of it all, how much Steve has stamped him now, how safe Bucky feels to let him push his limits, it's enough to drive Steve to the brink, and when Bucky leans his head back and opens his mouth, ready for Steve, like Steve needs to  _ feed _ him, that's it. It's over. He's coming, hard enough that it hits Bucky's open mouth, runs down his chin, down his throat, up his cheek. And oh  _ god _ . The sight of it all. Steve closes his eyes just for a moment, to lock it away, store it there.

His fingers itch for a pencil.

And Bucky looks so  _ pleased _ .

They have about an hour before they need to leave. Steve was sure to leave himself plenty of time this morning, to get Bucky good and warm, calmed down and looked after -  _ settled _ \- before they have to get in the car. And knowing that they'll be talking more about what Bucky wants, about making his first amendments to the contract, even though it might have been at the expense of Steve's ego, makes him both anxious and happy.

‘Oh baby, you look so pretty like this,' he says to Bucky. Reaching a hand down to stroke through the come on Bucky's lips. He takes that thumb back into his mouth, tastes himself, and smiles, gets back down onto his knees to lean in and kiss Bucky, lick across the mess on his lips and smear it between them. And Bucky presses up into Steve, loops his arms over Steve's shoulders and pulls him closer, lifts his legs to wrap them around Steve too, and Steve stands, carries Bucky like that back to the bedroom, taking the bowl of fruit with him, careful of Alpine as she streaks past and then circles around them, makes creepy little hissing noises at Steve and bounces on her feet.

'Aww, she's jealous,' Bucky says, voice at a different pitch than the way Steve's ever heard him talk before, and he's smiling down at the cat like she's adorable, and not, in fact, a demon from hell.

'She is huh?' Steve says, and has no idea why he feels so satisfied at the idea of it. Steve sits back on the bed, Bucky now facing him in his lap as he does. And he wraps his arms tight around Bucky and shuffles back to rest against the wall that the bed sits up against. He puts the bowl of fruit down next to them.

'You didn't eat your fruit, baby.'

'Oh, oops,' Bucky says, one eyebrow raised as he looks at Steve, a smirk at one corner of his mouth. 'Is it too late now?'

'No,' Steve says, lifting one blueberry out and holding it up to Bucky's mouth, 'Open.'

Bucky opens and lets Steve pop the blueberry in. Lets him do the same again and again with the remaining berries. Chews and swallows them slowly and carefully, eyes on Steve the whole time. And Steve feels his chest loosen at the repetition of it. At the way Bucky is smiling and relaxing into him, dropping his shoulders and playing with Steve's hair at the back of his neck, where his arms have stayed looped around Steve.

And Bucky is leaning in, now that the fruit is gone, smile gone all of a sudden, lip back between his teeth again. 'Steve?'

'Yeah, Buck?'

'Am I allowed to kiss you too?'

And Steve almost sighs with relief at the question.

'Yeah, baby, you are.'

'I don't need to ask permission?' It's not a teasing question, it's a real question, Bucky isn't sure. He's working out the rules. He has no idea that Steve has forgotten them, that his rules just don't make sense here.

'Not like this. In a scene, maybe, yes. But not like this.'

'Okay. Good to know.' And that's enough for Bucky, he's closing his eyes and closing in on Steve, pressing his lips in gently, like he's dipping his toes in. And it's not enough and too much all at the same time, the way Bucky kisses Steve, it means so much more than he's saying, without hiding anything. Steve doesn't know how he does it. Lays himself so open like this.

He kisses Bucky back slowly and lazily. They have time, this counts as looking after him, they can't get much closer together than they are, can't get much more comfortable than wrapped in each others arms, and Steve knows he needs to get Bucky back into the shower before they can go back to base - even if just to stand under the water for a good thirty seconds - clean the come away (god, he'd never meant to even let himself come today. Today was supposed to just be about Bucky).

And it takes them a little while longer to come back to reality, Bucky pulling away from the kiss to lean into Steve and put his forehead down on Steve's shoulder, Steve buries his nose into Bucky's fluffy hair. Just inhales the scent of the care Bucky has put into it, but also the oils from his own skin, the sweat barely beading at his temples. Steve's nose can decipher a lot, and it's never been put to better use.

'Steve?' Bucky asks, muffled with his face still buried in Steve's shoulder, 'I probably need to get back in the shower.'

'I was thinking that too, bud.'

'How much time do we have?'

Steve gets a hand under to push at Bucky's chest, move him back a little, so he can see him 'Depends. How are you feeling?'

'Like I never want to move from here,' he says with a smile, and Steve wants to smile back. But he also knows they have a schedule. He needs to take some modicum of responsibility here.

'You're gonna have to Bucky, we both need to have a shower now.'

And Bucky grumbles but he sits back. Gets his feet underneath him and slides off Steve's lap and the bed, 'Will you need to borrow a shirt?' Bucky says, looking down at where Steve's undershirt is now sticky with what's been wiped between Bucky and himself.

'No thank you Buck, I've got my own shirt to get back into.'

'Oh, right, did you... did you want to leave that here? I could wash it for you?'

And Steve wants to say no, because he doesn't want to leave more work for Bucky to do, more work that might not get done, but Bucky is looking at him with his hands wringing, he's waiting to get into the shower, now wearing nothing and without Steve to keep him warm, and he's asking to do something for Steve, something helpful, a way to maybe show he is capable of looking after himself, his things, when he puts his mind to it (when he chooses to put his mind to it) and his mouth takes over from his brain.

'Yeah, baby boy, you would do that for me?'

'I would, I could,' Bucky says and reaches out a hand to take the shirt from Steve, watches him peel off the undershirt and almost misses Steve handing it to him, too busy staring at Steve''s chest.

'Thank you, Bucky.'

'Oh, you're... you're welcome,' he stammers, eyes still fixed to Steve's chest, but managing to take the shirt without looking, shoots it straight into the laundry basket without even thinking about it. 'I'll just... I'll just be two minutes.'

Steve nods at him and watches him reverse into the bathroom, knock his elbow on the door frame on the way through. He can't help the huff of laughter at Bucky’s expression as he rubs at the point of contact.

And then once he hears the water turn on, he goes about collecting his shirt from where it's folded on top of the bench seat under the bedroom window, lid slightly ajar with the amount that's been piled into its storage. He takes off his pants and folds them too, folds his underwear on top, checks his boots, still lined up by the bench, his socks folded and placed inside the left. He leaves his dog tags and makes his way to the bathroom, gets inside the door and catches Bucky just finishing soaping himself down.

'You want me to leave the water running?' he asks, nodding at Steve when he steps through the door.

'Sure, you getting out?'

'Yeah I better,' Bucky says, looking Steve up and down, getting caught at Steve's dick, which is hard again already. It's not usually this bad, but a naked Bucky in his lap for half an hour made it pretty happy, and watching him in the shower now sure isn't helping any. 'We don't have time for me to get distracted.'

'That's very responsible of you, Bucky,' Steve says, raising his eyebrow.

'Yeah well, we don't all quite have your stamina, old man.'

Which may be true. But Steve doesn't mind the idea of milking every single drop of come out Bucky that his body can possibly make. And then some.

Maybe when they have a whole day to themselves.

He's going to put that on a list. He's going to need to test Bucky's limits anyway. For research purposes.

'You should respect your elders, Son.' Steve takes a very personal delight in watching Bucky's dick jump at the use of that word.

_ 'Oh,'  _ Bucky says, closing his eyes, opening them again to say, 'My apologies,' looking at Steve with entirely too much smirk on his face. And Steve shouldn't tease him, they really don't have time for this, but he can't help himself. He leans into Bucky's space as he passes him to get into the glass encased shower, water still running, steaming up the room despite the exhaust fan being on. 

Steve lifts his hand and grabs Bucky's chin, angles his face up to Steve's 'We’re going to work on your manners,' Steve leans in even closer and whispers it into his ear, 'Might need to teach you a lesson.’'

And Steve is rewarded watching Bucky's cock fill right back up again. Checks that off in his mental list, that Bucky might not be a super soldier, with Steve’s enhanced refractory period, but he can be coaxed into all sorts of trouble with the right motivation.

And Bucky is leaning into Steve with his shoulders, but making no move to touch him, 'You are mean,' he says, and Steve pulls back to see the pout on his pretty pink lips.

'You love it,' Steve says, voice low.

Bucky just nods his head, licks his lips (which does nothing to help Steve's own impressive erection go anywhere but up) and lets Steve let him go. Steve steps into the shower and watches Bucky walk out wet, his towel still in the other room. Only to come back a minute later, dressed in his jeans, to pull a towel out from under the vanity and place it on the counter space for Steve to use when he's done. Then he's gone again.

By the time Steve is out of the shower and dressed, Bucky is ready and waiting for him on the lounge, Alpine in his lap, hand in her fur, patting down her back with casual affection.

'Ready when you are, Sir.'

'Well then let's go, Son.'

They both leave the apartment smiling. Hands brushing hands as they take the stairs together. shoulders pressed close in the tight space.

Steve can imagine more days like this. Too many. Too easily. And so he shakes the thought from his head. They're back in the real world now. They leave the play behind.

As soon as they reach the lobby, away from the narrow staircase, Steve takes a step to the side, putting a little distance between them.

'I'll call Fury from the car,' Steve says, getting the keys from his pocket, 'Let him know we're on our way.'

'Right,' Bucky makes no attempt to close the space. 'Will we be on time?'

'Briefing's at ten hundred. We'll make it.'

'Good to know.' Bucky says. And that's that.

They never even get a chance to talk about the contract.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like?
> 
> Honestly - if you wanna ask me stuff, chat some head canons, get juicy goss about your favourite character... come yell at me on [tumblr](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) \- I'm living and breathing this fic at the moment, and I'm always happy to share 😘
> 
> Or just drop a comment - I get so happy to see you in the comments ❤


	3. Ideal Federal Savings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve waits for him to turn back, to look at him again, to ask something about the mission, but Bucky keeps his head turned to the window, only his body is facing Steve. 
> 
> They spend the next seven minutes in total silence.
> 
> When they get to the Avengers compound Steve parks the car where he found it, and climbs out, looking over at Bucky as he does the same. 'Are you okay to get geared up?'
> 
> 'I am,' Bucky replies, 'I'll meet you at the jet in twenty.' And the hardened marble is back. A little early for Bucky's operational face. But Steve isn't about to question him. He feels wrong footed again, like all he's making are mistakes here, he just doesn't know what to do to turn them back around again.
> 
> So he doesn't try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the canon typical violence tag for this chapter - and some angst.
> 
> Happy to talk you through any questions or worries if you want to come find me in the comments, or [here](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. 
> 
> As an aside - I do want to say a huge thank you to everyone on board this ride with me. Please know that every comment is a gift, and I'm going to try to answer them all, I'm just spending every spare minute writing at the moment (I'm both loving and hating nanowrimo) but I go back and read them whenever I need a push, or some confidence, or even just to steal inspiration from your headcanons.
> 
> So keep talking to me. Your support means the world.
> 
> I love all of you.
> 
> Biggest hugs.
> 
> ❤

He doesn’t get the chance to call Fury, because as soon as Steve is in the car, the phone built into Tony's swanky fucking dash is ringing. Steve’s cut off from anything more that he might’ve said to Bucky, might have tried to convey more clearly than simply separating himself physically from Bucky as a way to compartmentalise Colonel Rogers from Steve (from  _ daddy _ ), as a way to keep his mind clear.

Maybe Steve has constructed it that way, to say nothing. Because he doesn’t know how to control those words once they're said. 

Steve looks at Bucky, buckling his seatbelt and staring at the ringing dash like it might bite him, and sighs internally. They have time, he can put a pin in this, come back to it later. It's fine. It'll be fine. 

'Answer,' Steve directs at the dash, not bothering with his own seatbelt, but making sure Bucky is settled before pressing the ignition.

‘Director Fury for you, Colonel,’ Jarvis informs them, as the call connects.

‘Nick,’ Steve greets Fury solemnly. Aware he’s making them later than they should be to get to DC. 

‘Rogers. You got Barnes with you?’

Steve nods for Bucky to announce himself, and Bucky does as asked.

‘I’m here, Director.’

‘I’ve been in meetings with the others for most of the night and now morning. And we probably needed to be in DC hours ago.’

'We can’t be running into every situation on no sleep and no information, Nick. I told you when we started this, I wouldn’t be running my team that way anymore.'

‘Well the information we have now is telling us to jump on this. I’ve cancelled the briefing.’

‘Nick-’

‘I’ve cancelled it based on what Scott’s told us. And based on Hydra’s extreme response to yesterday’s run in with Zola.’

Bucky lifts his eyebrows, looks at Steve and Steve nods. ‘What did Scott say?’

'When Wanda mentioned Ideal Federal Savings, poor guy practically had a heart attack.'

'Is he okay?' Bucky asks at the same time as Steve says, 'Do we know why?'

'He's fine,' Fury answers first, 'He's been ready to leave for Washington since last night. Just waiting on you two.'

'Nick,' Steve says, steeling his voice,  _ ' _ Could you give us the _ actual  _ intel?'

'He says it was a Hydra stronghold in his timeline...' Fury says, pausing for dramatic effect because he's a dick, 'He says it's where they kept the Winter Soldier.'

Steve looks over at Bucky and Bucky has his eyes fixed to the dash, wide and unblinking, 'Elaborate, for Christ's sake Nick,' Steve snaps at the phone.

'It's where they held Scott's world's version of Bucky, and tortured him, programmed him.'

'And you said he's been there for months?' Bucky asks, leaning closer to the phone as he speaks, face ashen. 'The traveller?'

'Yes, but we don't know who it is, Bucky,' Steve says, taking a hand off the wheel to lay it on Bucky's arm, 'It could be anyone. Hydra doesn't even know you exist in this timeline. And we never found any evidence of a Winter Soldier program in any of Hydra's files when we purged Shield. Right Nick?'

'Right,' Fury is quick to agree, 'And Nat still hasn't found any. If it was there she would know about it,' he says, aimed mostly at Bucky, 'So it’s possible, and I've said this to Scott already, It's just a facility and they've taken someone there for questioning, or the traveller was already Hydra and they're keeping him safe.'

'But that's not what you think.'

'No it's not,' Fury says. And Steve's eye twitches. He wants to reach into the phone and tell Fury to shut up. 'We think he might be getting questioned. Possibly they will be experimenting with any residual quantum energy anomalies that exist around the traveller the same way Jane and Bruce have been working with Scott.'

Bucky and Steve both know that Hydra won't be sitting down to breakfast with whoever the poor asshole is that’s come through. They’re certainly not buttering his bagels.

'Nick, we're about ten minutes out, can we pick this up when we get back?'

'I need you ready for wheels up in twenty minutes.'

'Thirty,' Steve says, looking to Bucky, who nods his head, 'We'll be ready in thirty, you can brief us on the plan on the way.'

'Right. And Scott's going with you.'

'No.'

'Rogers, that's non-negotiable, he has intel you just don't have.'

Bucky looks at Steve, 'He can tell us if the traveller is a friendly.' Steve must look as unconvinced as he feels, because Bucky hastens to add, 'He'll at least have a better baseline of understanding.'

Steve hates that that's true. Scott is injured, a liability. And Steve doesn't trust him, or the easy friendship he's been able to strike up with everyone so quickly. But then... Bucky has done the same in almost the same amount of time. So maybe Steve needs to stop using himself as a yardstick for normal team acclimation. 'Okay,' he aims his voice to the speaker, but his eyes are for Bucky, 'I concede that he might be useful in this instance - but I have him on alert, understood?'

'Understood Rogers. Always so accommodating,' Fury says, sarcasm dripping through the line, 'Now hurry-the-fuck-up.'

And that's it, he's hung up.

'You're going to have to run down to the locker rooms to get geared up and ready to go. I'll meet you at the jet before we take off.'

'Won't you be getting ready down there too?'

'I have a few things I need to do first.'

Bucky is looking at him, has shifted his whole body to turn to Steve, his back is against the door. He’s sitting in that way he has, of somehow making the car seat look like it was made for slouching. It's a gift. 'Do you and Fury get along?'

Steve takes a measured breath. 'Fury and I don't always see things in the same way - but we don't...  _ not  _ get along.'

Bucky nods, 'Do I... Does the team come to decisions together. Am I allowed to speak up, if I have something to say?'

'You've had this discussion already, at your induction, Buck. You know all this.'

'I know what I got told at Induction. Weeks ago.'

'Nothing’s changed since then, Bucky.' Steve has his eyes on the traffic, but he can see Bucky in his periphery. Can see his nostrils flare.

'Nothing's changed?'

'The job is the same. What happens outside of that is completely different. Our arrangement won't be affecting our work in any way.'

'Steve, do you really believe that? Even after yesterday?' Bucky is very intuitive, Steve knows that already, and he's good at reading people. Better than Steve maybe. And he's already proven to be an absolute professional in the field. So Steve isn't worried. About the job. He isn't worried about the job.

'I believe we can both be professional's while we have other people's lives in our hands. Outside of being in direct action, we can be friends, of course. And when we play, once I get the collar, when we have a dedicated scene, then we adhere to the contract.' Steve goes through this like it's a list. It is, in a way. He's keeping it that way in his mind because he can keep it contained. 'We'll make the negotiation changes to the contract soon, Buck, I promise, after we get this done.'

When he looks at Bucky to wait for his reply, Bucky is watching him. His eyes are narrowed, his shoulders are hunched and his head is tilted. He's studying Steve. 'That's what you want?' he asks after a pause.

'I want us to be able to do this and it not get messy.' Steve says this like he's got it figured out. Like following his plan will keep them safe. Will lead them somewhere carefully and gently. For everyone's sake, they can't just throw themselves into this without forethought. It has to be tested. They have to do it right.

'You don't want mess.'

'No.'

‘Just stick to the rules.’

‘Exactly,’ Steve says. The rules make it controllable. Control is necessary.

'Okay,' Bucky says. And then turns his head. Indicating pretty clearly that is the end of the conversation.

Steve waits for him to turn back, to look at him again, to ask something about the mission, but Bucky keeps his head turned to the window, only his body is facing Steve. How he's contorted himself in that way Steve doesn't know. It can't be comfortable. But he makes it look effortless.

They spend the next seven minutes in total silence.

When they get to the Avengers compound Steve parks the car where he found it, and climbs out, looking over at Bucky as he does the same. 'Are you okay to get geared up?'

'I am,' Bucky replies, 'I'll meet you at the jet in twenty.' And the hardened marble is back. A little early for Bucky's operational face. But Steve isn't about to question him. He feels wrong footed again, like all he's making are mistakes here, he just doesn't know what to do to turn them back around again.

So he doesn't try. 'Right. See you then.'

Bucky salutes and turns away, Steve can hear him greet Jarvis in the elevator, too jovial for the face he was just pulling with Steve. And Steve decides to take the stairs to avoid having to face that lack of expression again. He runs up to his apartment to get his shit together. He sprints through push ups, chin ups and Squat thrusts, rushing his routine, no time for most of it, but needing to follow something. Needing to have a slice of normalcy, even though it feels ridiculous.

And when he's composed, he takes the stairs down to the locker, sure that he'll meet Bucky there. Maybe he can make a joke about their first day there, Bucky's reaction to him, the way he stumbled around Steve like a baby gazelle. Maybe he'll get Bucky to laugh. Or just look at him  _ that  _ way while Steve strips down to nothing and then works his way into his armour. He likes the way Bucky looks at him.

But Bucky isn't in the locker room. Neither is anyone else. So Steve gets ready on his own. 

By the time he's changed and at the hanger, Fury and Nat are there waiting.

'Wheels up in five, where's your boy?'

'He's meeting us here,' Steve says, and he keeps his face impassive. They do not need to know that he and Bucky are having some kind of inexplicable fight. Steve doesn't even know what it's about.

'Okay, well,Wanda is coming with Scott. Jane and Bruce are going to stay here but remain on comms with Fury. Tony is not back yet with Sam from Wakanda, but we've got them on standby in case this turns into something huge.'

'Is that likely? What's your feeling about this?'

'I feel like we should be waiting. I feel like we don't know enough.' And Steve wants to agree, but Nat shakes her head at him, just once, half a shake. 'But we can't. Scott’s right that Hydra will try to move him soon. Maybe already are. We have to get in there. And I can't see any evidence that the Winter Soldier program Scott briefed us on is real. It seems like a ghost story. But I  _ can  _ tie the bank back to Sitwell, and Sitwell was always a problem.'

'I thought Sitwell was working with us? I thought Pierce killed him for the evidence he uncovered?'

'Pierce killed him, and we speculated, but now that we know he had his name on a company that had their name on this bank? I think we had it wrong.'

'Okay.' Steve's head is ringing at the thought of someone like Sitwell, whom he'd had as an analyst on at least four of his missions, was actually Hydra. It makes him nauseous, how every time they think they have it figured out, it turns out the poison ran deeper. Hydra was buried so thoroughly into Shield, they may never find all the ways. 'Okay. So the bank is Hydra... and Sitwell was Hydra. And Pierce has been in custody too long to have been directly involved in any of this.'

'I do think Hydra are floundering. The last wormhole event was the only one they've ever made it to, so I don't think they knew about the quantum stuff before they found this guy, the other timeline guy, I think It was a fluke that he ran into that computer program and I think it was a fluke that he got caught by Hydra. I think they've finally got enough intel out of him to be able to track the rifts now.'

'We don't want that.' Fury says, and Steve shakes his head, Because obviously they don't want Hydra figuring out how to manipulate time.

'So Wanda takes point, Bucky takes rear, you and I are cover, and Scott is just an observer.'

'That's the plan, boss,' Nat says, a quick nod, 'Maria will drop us on the roof, keep the jet in standby while we go in, there's no way to actually land. We have blueprints but no real map of the basement and Surveillance can't get a look inside from the air. I can't see any heat signatures. No signals. But that's the same as Lehigh.'

'We've had worse,' Steve says, just as he feels his body subconsciously relax. Bucky is here. On time. He can smell him. He can hear his footfalls, discernible by just how subtle they are, but the vanilla and coconut is in Steve's nose before Bucky is even on the tarmac, and something about that settles Steve's nerves in a way that it shouldn’t. In a way that Steve should not allow.

'Wanda is on her way with Scott,' Bucky says, 'I'm kitted up - I'm ready.'

'Okay,' Steve says, struggling to find his words, ‘Good, that's good. Nat, you two get on the jet and help Maria get it prepped, we're in the air as soon as the other two arrive.'

Both Bucky and Nat simply nod and turn and make their way up the ramp. Steve can hear Nat ask Bucky, 'You okay?' and winces when Bucky answers, 'Copacetic.' Winces as if he knows Bucky well enough to know that answer really means ‘Leave me alone.’ He doesn't. He doesn't know Bucky that well at all.

Steve tunes them out in favour of watching Wanda glide onto the tarmac and Scott stumble out the doors behind her. They make it to Steve and he checks Scott over. He has no weapons, but he doesn't seem bothered by that. And he's wearing the suit that they found him in. His arm in a flexible, thin cast.

'We're ready,' Wanda says, Scott nodding behind her, 'Let's go.'

Steve just nods and follows them onto the Jet. Maria closes it behind them. And they’re on their way.

The flight to DC feels much faster than the flight to Jersey had. Maybe because Steve doesn't want to get there. He hates not knowing what they're getting into. Anything could be in that bank. Jesus, they could get in there and find fucking Red Skull living in the walls or something. Steve has to stave off a shiver at the thought. His past feels like it’s coming back to haunt him lately.

They come to a stop above the building next to the bank, keeping in stealth so as not to show up on any radar or security systems.

'Wanda, you're point, Scott, stay between me and Nat, Bucky, you cover our six.'

Everyone knows their positions, Steve is just using his voice to calm them, wrapping it around them like a cloak, his Captain America voice. And Bucky, who Steve's been trying so desperately not to watch, not to watch him and Wanda with their heads together, not to eavesdrop on their conversation about what the Winter Soldier might be like, how damaged a person might be after that long in captivity, and it definitely doesn't escape Steve's notice that the both of them seem to have some idea of what that would feel like first hand.

He hasn't been watching the way Bucky twirls that fucking knife in his hand in the moments when he's staring at nothing.

He hasn't been watching the way Scott is watching Bucky with sorrow, like what they're about to find is going to damage something in Bucky. Tarnish him.

And so he gives his orders, he gets them in position, he uses what he has available to him to steady them, to ready them, and then he calls it. And they move in.

It's mid morning so there's traffic on the streets. Maria keeps the jet close to the buildings, they're cloaked so they can't be seen, which is necessary - Ideal Federal Savings is on the corner of a busy street, and they don't exactly blend in, also if they need quick extraction, Maria can get to ground from where she is for them to board in a hurry.

Wanda creates an opening for them to grapple through and they go in by two and three, Steve and Nat the first in position, then Scott, Bucky and Wanda second. They merge into the agreed formation as they sweep through the first two levels to find nothing. No signs of life. No electricity, no garbage, no furniture. No evidence of even a squatter. The eeriness is familiar. Steve  _ hates  _ it.

'He's here.' Wanda has her hands alight, fingers waving that red magic around them like liquid. 'I can feel the absence of space. Bigger than the other maybe.' She doesn't look back at Scott, but they know who’s absence of space she means.

'Can you tell where?' Steve asks quietly. They’re each separated by close to twenty feet as they move through the building, but Steve has no trouble hearing them all, and the comms are on, so they can safely whisper to each other.

'Down. Not so far down as in the bunker, but it's down.' She says.

'Next level is the ground floor,' Nat informs them,and Steve nods, they take the stairs in single file. And it's more of the same. Empty space. Empty of everything - even rats.

'Down one more I think.' Wanda has her head cocked, listening to something none of them can hear.

'Does this seem right to you Scott?'

'I don't know.'

Steve whips his head right to look at Scott and raise his eyebrows.

'I wasn't there, it was before my time, the fall of Hydra.'

Steve wants to fucking shake him, because the only reason Scott is here is for his supposedly indispensable knowledge, and he wasn't even fucking  _ there _ ?

'It's down,' Wanda says again, 'We have to go down one more.’ And Steve has put her at point, he trusts her instincts.

'Okay, down, single file again, Bucky take six, Scott behind me, Nat, Wanda, be ready.’

The only light in the building is from the windows, which wasn't a problem on the above ground levels but it's going to be a problem as they get lower - they're descending into an unlit bank basement - Steve knows this is going to be bad.

And then he hears it. The others can't yet, he doesn't know if the void is affecting what Wanda can feel from beneath them, but Steve can certainly hear someone. Maybe three distinct voices whispering behind a wall. Maybe more beyond that, his ears can't pick that up. But he whispers to the others that he hears three and gets a copy from all of them. Bucky moves his rifle to aim ahead of them, Steve has his shield up, and Scott is keeping himself down and as much out of the way as possible. 

The door at the bottom of the staircase is wide open, the space it opens to pitch black.

Wanda and Nat are low to the ground, Nat with her batons ready and Wanda's fingers alight, but they're fizzing, shorting out. 'I can't build the force-field down here, Steve,' she whispers, 'Somethings wrong.'

Steve moves to point and gets Wanda behind him. ‘Everyone take a step back, we’re not going in yet’ Steve whispers, waiting for the others to copy, but suddenly Scott's gone, and they hear a struggle beyond the door. Steve holds everyone back and moves forward through the door to find five armed and unconscious men in Hydra uniforms. The room is an entrance to the basement that's almost a lobby, cordoned off behind them by a floor to ceiling barred gate, and the men are fanned out across it, laying in wait. Night vision goggles now useless over their unseeing eyes.

Scott pops back to existence right next to Steve with a goofy smile, like a puppy that should be rewarded. Not like the guy who just disobeyed a direct order to use unsanctioned tech to take out an enemy that Steve wanted questioned.

'What. The  _ fuck _ .' Steve is staring Scott down, and Scott's smile is heading south fairly expediently.

Scott throws his hands up, palms out, with a little flourish, 'You're welcome?'

'No.'

'Uh...'

'Just no. you disobeyed a direct order,' Steve whispers, narrowing his eyes at Scott, Bucky has filed in behind them and has his rifle trained at the empty space beyond them, nevermind that he can see nothing 'One of these guys could be the traveler.'

'It's not him,' Scott says, lips a thin line, tone more serious than Steve has heard him since he arrived.

'We don't know who the traveler  _ is _ ,' Steve punctuates, 'It could be  _ anybody.' _

'Incoming,' Bucky says softly, finger on the trigger, and Steve has let his guard down enough that he didn't hear them. Wanda has her hands up, but the forcefield doesn’t follow. Now that Steve is listening he can hear four more agents further dispersed among the long open space.

The basement level is separated into sections by a series of floor to ceiling barred gates - at the end of which is a vault. Steve can hear the whir of the current feeding into the walls, though none of the electricity is on. There's no dust on the floor. There's no stale smell. This space is in use in a way that none of the upper levels are. And Steve's willing to bet good money that what they're looking for will be behind the door of the vault.

A shot fires from the other end of the floor and the flash of Bucky's rifle muzzle goes off in reply. Steve hears the shot connect, see's the agent drop. And Scott disappears again as a second gun fires from somewhere inside the space. Steve deflects the shot with his shield, Jumping in front of Bucky, and Bucky has his gun trained at where the shot came from, sliding left and sending another shot in return. Steve hears another body fall.

Steve finally spots the two remaining agents behind the second gate, but can't get his shield in there. 'We need to get this open!' he hisses, sprinting forward to the first gate and hitting at the locking mechanism with his shield.

'Steve get down!' Bucky calls out in a harsh whisper from behind him, and Steve hears another two shots, one from ahead of him, answering fire from behind, and then another, which he feels hit him in the thigh, a dull thud and then burn. But the gate is easy enough to slide open now that the shield has hacked through the lock. And Steve barrels in to take out the last agent, hitting her at the temple with his shield, getting in behind her and trapping her arms, filing her over to Nat for restraint. He looks to Wanda to see if she can get a read on her.

'I can't feel anything,' Wanda is whispering though, shaking her head and looking up at Steve with eyes full of confusion, 'It's like, a blanket over my mind...'

Bucky has made his way further into the room, Steve’s conscious that none of the others can see much right now, and before the thought is even fully formed, the lights come on. Bucky blinks into it, squeezing his eyes shut, and Nat is on the other agents as quick as she can be, moving around to them, checking for pulses, restraining the five agents Scott took out from the first section and fixing them with the chemical widow bites she keeps for sedation. The three other agents in this second section don’t require sedation. All of them head shots. Bucky's aim was perfect.

Bucky’s face is impassive as ever when he catches Nat's eye, but she looks to Steve with what only he can tell is a warning, and Steve looks back to Bucky to see that tick in his jaw. He'll need to make sure that Bucky knows this was the right call.

And when Bucky closes in on Steve his voice is soft and his face has dropped into concern, 'You're bleeding-'

And Steve could almost kiss Scott that he chooses that moment to reappear, 'Power's on,' he says, his helmet popping open to reveal a frown, 'How do we get in here?' and he's walked up to the vault, one hand on the thick metal of the door.

'Let me try,' Wanda says, stepping up to the lock and placing her hand on it. 'I can... maybe...' Steve can see the metal under her hand start to take on a red hue, as the fizzling light from her fingers melts into it, starts to vibrate, and Wanda is pushing herself too hard again, but it just isn’t working. It's a mere few seconds more before she collapses back into Scott and he takes her weight, but she's conscious. ‘I don’t understand…’

‘It’s okay, I think I can…’ Scott helps Wanda to her feet and then disappears again. 

‘Not sure I’m actually going to get used to that,’ Nat says, coming to stand by the vault as Bucky reaches a hand out to Wanda to steady her and Steve waits for a miracle. 

It doesn’t take long for Scott to pop back to them again. ‘Okay try it now, I got into the hinges, it should open some.’

Steve pulls at the door and it screeches away from its hinges, slowly and reluctantly, and when it’s enough to get eyes on what’s inside, he peers through. Inside is just another barred gate, 'Get back,' he says behind him, waving an arm to clear his team from the area behind him, puts his full strength into it and pulls the vault door completely off, lowers it as gently as he can to the ground. And it's a different space beyond this gate. Monitors are everywhere, hooked up to computers, some of them hooked up to equipment around a chair in the middle of the room. They're surrounded by walls of security deposit boxes but at the back of the room are two more doors, the same heavy metal as the vault but with a small round window at head height.

And there are three plainclothes agents in here. Scientists maybe. They've backed themselves into the corner, and before Steve can reach them, can hack the lock on this barred gate open, two of them have bitten into something, 'Hail Hydra,' ringing in his ears like a twisted memory.

The third scientist is shaking, he's young, too young to be here, and Steve can smell his fear in his sweat, they might get something out of him.

But as soon as the gate is open, Scott has rushed past Steve, no eyes on the scientist, no care for orders, and has gone straight to the doors at the back. And he's looking through the windows first one, shaking his head and then the other. The sound he lets out when he's pressed his face close enough is somewhere between a sigh and a wail. And then he’s crying out, half laughter, half sob 'It's Cap!' He shouts across the room, to Steve, 'You're here!'

And Steve's vision almost fades to black.

It's him? The traveler. It isn't Bucky, isn't the tortured mess of a Bucky from the other world. It's the other Steve?

'Oh Jesus,' Scott is saying, hand to the glass, 'Thank fucking Christ.' And he presses his head against it once again. And as Steve watches, a man’s face, blond, scruffy beard, stupid floppy fringe, appears at the other side of the round window and puts a hand to the glass.

His expression at the sight of Scott is just pure relief. Like finally turning his face to the sun. And perhaps that's exactly what this is. A rescue. A win. But Steve feels a roiling in his belly. This is not a good feeling. This won't end well. He doesn't like it at all.

'Maria, we'll be up in five, but we need a second team here, we have six unconscious and one conscious Hydra agents and one possible friendly...' Steve says into his comms. And Maria copies, says she's called it in, says it’s all clear on the roof, but Steve isn't really listening. He's watching Bucky. He's watching Bucky make his way to the window, he's watching the look on Bucky's face at this other, scruffy, blonder, wide eyed version of Steve, the way Bucky's eyes are just as wide, and he sees the moment the other Steve sees Bucky, sees the millisecond he recognises him and practically throws himself at the glass, the way his face has exploded into joyous disbelief. And he knows.

Steve knows this is going to be trouble.

Bucky's got his hand on the glass and Scott is next to him, has his good arm on Bucky's shoulder, peering over and yelling at the other Steve inside the cell that they're working on it, that they're getting him out, he should hang tight.

'Steve!' Bucky calls, 'Steve, we need to get this open.' And it's the look on Bucky's face more than anything - that he needs Steve, that he can't do it and it's  _ hurting  _ him, that springs Steve to action. That has him jog to the door, Wanda coming in behind him and looking over his shoulder, Bucky and Scott move out of the way to let Steve through, but he can't immediately see a way to get the lock open. He looks through the glass window at himself, a strange non-reflection staring back at him, looking him up and down - what little of Steve he can see from the small opening - and he looks wary. But the loose set of his shoulders, the softness in his expression, it's still predominantly relief, he looks so relieved, and Steve can only imagine what it would be like in this facility with Hydra, doing god knows what with all that equipment, that he would be surely desperate to get out of such a place himself, he swings to the remaining scientist, who Nat is now restraining too, and asks him 'How the fuck do you get this open?'

'I can't tell you that.'

'You can and you will,' Steve says, stepping closer, 'We have a lot of questions for you, and this is going to be a cake walk in comparison, so make it easy on yourself, tell me how to get him out.'

The kid takes a second to weigh his options, Steve can see the wheels turning in his little brain, and points to one of the dead Hydra scientists, a woman in red, 'She has the key.’ His voice is shaky as hell, ‘And he' - he points to the other body - 'used a retinal scan.'

Oh, that poor kid is going to crack under Fury. They'll get so much out of him. But Steve needs to stay on point. He drags the dead guy over to the door, though there's no panel he can see to scan anything, and Nat has grabbed the key from the other body, there's a port for the plug of the key to be inserted into and as soon as it slides home, a panel to the left of the door pops open for Steve to raise the body's eye to. Hoping the fixed pupil won't affect the reading.

It doesn't. A light above the door flashes green and the hydraulics hiss as it swings slowly open. And they all stand back, but for Scott, who dives in and practically tackles this alternate Steve, who grabs Scott in turn lifts him into a hug with a grip on the back of his neck that might honestly injure him.

'Cap, oh-my-fucking-god it's you. It's really you,' Scott is crying into alternate Steve's shoulder as Bucky stands back, Nat stands alert, and Wanda slumps against the wall, hand to her head.

'It's me, Scott, I'm okay,' the alternate Steve is saying. But it's a lie. Steve can tell, this other Steve is not okay.

Nat has checked and the other cell is empty, and Bucky is now checking on Wanda, one eye still on other Steve, and Steve is trying to keep his eyes on everything. The monitors, the equipment in this section of the vault - it's a lot. And he has to assume that some or all of it is causing Wanda's distress.

'What happened here? What are they doing?' He directs the question straight to other Steve, doesn't bother to ask the baby Hydra scientist, who is currently slumped alone, the body of one coworker still next to him, the other body strewn across the floor in front of the cell. It's pretty bleak. It's been a while since they've had an op like this. And Steve needs to find his feet.

It's a fucking mess.

'They've been trying to recreate the time rip,' the other Steve starts, his voice the same deep register as Steve's own. It's... disconcerting, 'They haven't managed it yet, but what they have been doing has sometimes been.... interesting.

'Get it turned off, get it all turned off now,' Steve turns to Bucky, looks to Scott, they need to cut the power again, at least just to this section, Bucky has already moved to start looking for a way to pull the plugs 'Whatever they're doing in here is hurting Wanda.'

At Steve's suggestion the equipment is hurting Wanda, Bucky hastens his actions, gets his knife from his thigh holster and starts cutting at the wires. He looks up at Steve as he's half way through, still cutting without eyes on his hands, 'Jane will need to check the equipment, but if I just cut the lines they can hook up their own power source.'

Steve nods his agreement. And Wanda is already breathing easier as each of the pieces of equipment go dark.

'It's still... missing,' she says, husky and drawn, 'I can't feel anything down here, in here. I can't do anything.'

'Buck, can you take her to Maria, Nat you can deal with this guy,’ - he gestures to the scientist - ‘And Scott,' Steve looks to Scott, not technically a part of his team, who’s already gone against direct order twice in one op, but who cocks his head to Steve immediately at being mentioned, who stands straighter to wait for his orders, 'You and... Cap, wait here, let me see what Fury wants me to do with you.'

Bucky is watching them, both the Steve's, with narrowed eyes, and Scott has stood back, waiting as asked, but with some hesitation.

Steve looks at Bucky and he doesn't argue, he nods. He has worked his way back over to Wanda already and is helping her up from where she's slumped. He’s putting her arm over his shoulder and taking her through the barred gates, through the sections of the basement to the stairs to get up to Maria.

'I'm sorry,' Wanda says quietly and Bucky is quick to dispel her.

'No, Wanda, let me get you out of here, It's hurting you.'

'It's not so bad now,' she says, but Bucky keeps his steps steady, Steve is watching them walk away, and has to turn away when Bucky looks back to him before entering the stairwell. He doesn't look angry but he looks... worried.

And Steve would be lying if he said he wasn't halfway just trying to keep his Bucky and this other Steve separated. The way the other Steve is still staring at the space that Bucky has just exited, fills Steve with a sense of worry he can't qualify.

'Steve,' Scott starts, but other Steve, Cap, cuts him off.

'It's okay, Scott, he's being cautious, that's a good thing.'

'But you don't look so good.'

'I'm okay,' Cap says again, just as convincingly, 'I can wait a little more.' And despite the lines in his face, drawn, too thin, scruffy with a patchy beard and pale with an almost purple hue, the look of joy on his face is radiant. 'Everything's going to be okay.'

'Rogers we need to get this one up to the jet so we can strap her down, she needs to get to medical.' Nat says, having left the hydra scientist slumped on the floor to check on the other restrained agent, who seems to be bleeding from a stray gunshot wound to the shoulder. Steve’s own leg is burning, but he’s pretty sure his body has pushed the bullet fragments out by now. 'And this little guy,' she looks over at the scientist and then back to Steve, 'Fury will want to speak to them.'

Steve nods again, He moves towards Nat and lifts the agent up, careful not to break anything, Sitting her up against the wall to get her shoulder above heart height. 'You take that one,' he nods towards the scientist, 'Be careful.' Nat would have already checked his mouth, made sure he doesn't have anything in there to bite down on.

'Buck, can you and Maria get back down here to help Nat,' Steve says into his comms.

'On our way,' Bucky replies. And just the sound of the name has Cap smiling. He's watching Steve, leaning on Scott a little, which is a bad sign. And Steve does feel for him. Whatever they've done to keep him trapped, to have him looking like this, can't have been good, assuming this guy has the same serum Steve himself has.

Nat starts up the stairs with the scientist, who's quiet but for the whimpering. And Bucky comes flying down the stairs, sweeping past her to get to Steve and ready to take the other prisoner, to follow Nat up to the jet with her, eyes flitting between Steve and Cap, wary.

Bucky and Maria, who's left Wanda with the jet, lift the bleeding agent onto a stretcher carefully and lift her. If Wanda can’t help them they’ll need to rig the Jet to airlift her in. Maria nods at Steve as they leave, sparing a quick glance for Cap, but making no move to speak to him or ask after him. She holds her jaw square and lets Bucky take the back end to reverse up the staircase.

'What did they do to you?' Steve asks, once the others are gone.

'A lot,' Cap says quietly, 'I'm not even sure what they were looking for. They took a lot of blood samples. Mostly they kept me underfed. Kept injecting me with some kind of toxin. Made me puke. Kept me weak enough that I couldn't get away.' He looks angry. At himself more than Hydra, which… Well Steve would probably feel the same. Like a failure. 

But it makes sense. His blood would help them recreate the serum. Which they'd been trying to do for decades. And poison certainly fits with what Steve’s seeing, his coloring. The yellow of his eyes against the sallow skin. And fuck, he looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks.

Steve has never tested how long he can go without food. He knows he needs to eat three or four times what the rest of the Avengers need to eat - except maybe Clint, who seems to eat enough for three people every day - his metabolism burns through it so quickly. But his cells also replicate themselves constantly. So he supposes he could live a lot longer without food than someone not enhanced. Going without food is not something he’s had to do since the war. Since before the ice. The idea of it makes him anxious. Brings back bad memories of his childhood.

'What happened when you came through? How did this happen?' Scott asks, standing close, but no longer touching Cap.

'I don't know what time it threw me into... but it was wrong, I wound up at Camp Lehigh, to return the particles, but it wasn't the same camp Lehigh as we had taken them from. And I had to check to make sure, I went into the basement and Zola... Zola was there again. And he said... said some things that I shouldn't have let myself listen to, and they caught me by surprise. It's been so long since I've seen a fucking Hydra agent,' and here he laughs, a low chuckle, 'And then they had me. Electrocuted me with something and I woke up here.'

'Jesus,' Scott says, looking over at Steve and then back to Cap.

'Yeah I honestly thought I was having a nightmare. Just couldn't wake up from it. here in this fucking place...' and Scott is nodding, like the place is significant, and Steve knows they said they held Cap's version of Bucky here... and he read the report Scott had given Fury, what he could stomach of it, he has some idea of what that Bucky must have gone through. 'But this Bucky' - he looks up at Steve again here, the iris of his eyes still a piercing blue - 'Your Bucky is... he never lost his arm? Never became the Soldat?'

Steve, despite his better judgement, is nodding his confirmation. He shouldn't be telling this man anything about Bucky. Shouldn't compromise Bucky's safety in any way.

'He's so young here. He was born in ninety nine, can you believe that?' Scott says.

'Scott!' Steve says with authority, but Scott is looking at him with raised eyebrows.

'What?'

'Ninety nine? How old is he?' Cap is frowning, frowning at Steve now.

'Oh, it's twenty twenty seven here.' Scott just keeps running his mouth, 'He's still a sniper, but never knew this Cap, sorry,  _ Colonel _ -'

'Scott!' Steve says, louder and harsher, taking a step forward and clenching his fists, 'Enough!'

'Scott it's fine,' Cap says, and looks to Steve with a smile, 'It's just nice... to see him like this again.'

And Steve can imagine it would be. But something in him twists at the look on Cap's face. And Cap is looking behind him now, at what Steve can hear and smell is Bucky coming back through the entrance at the base of the stairwell.

'Can you get us back? Can you get me back to my Bucky?' Cap asks, still smiling. And Steve's stomach sinks.

He can see the moment Scott realises what he's asking for. And Steve can hear his Bucky closing in on them, speaking softly into his comms to tell Maria he’s checking it out now, and Steve wants to round on him and send him back up. Doesn't want him to see this.

'Steve,' Scott says, his face falling, and Cap's face starts to close over, starts to look almost green, he's taking a step back from Scott and his eyes flit to Bucky and then to Steve.

‘Scott, no.’ He’s shaking his head.

'He's okay, he's okay,' Scott is saying with his arms out, 'I think, I think, but we...'

'You  _ think _ ? You  _ think  _ he’s okay?' Cap is asking, his whole body shaking, 'Tell me.'

‘I lost him,’ Scott says, like admitting to murder. Like he’s failed.

‘No.’ And the other Steve looks like he might collapse.

'He's looking for you,' Bucky says quietly, closing in on Cap, and Steve takes a step towards him, to cut him off, but Bucky stops him with a look, his face cut like steel, his eyes full of calm demand, 'He and Scott have been looking for you, and he's stuck in the timelines too.'

And Cap  _ would  _ have fallen if Bucky hadn't reached forward to grab him, hold him up. He's looking at Bucky and his face is so stricken, Steve feels sick looking at this version of himself, looking so broken.

'But we'll find him Steve,' Bucky is saying softly, 'We can find him, like we found Scott, like we found you,' Cap is looking up at Bucky like he's a lifeline, 'We can find him Steve.'

Steve is standing in the middle of the room watching his Bucky comfort the other Steve, watching him push a lock of other Steve’s hair back from his forehead. The other Steve staring into Bucky's eyes with devotion, and he can feel it like a physical pain.

It's all going to go wrong. If he can't save it. It's all going to fall apart.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see you next week.
> 
> yell at me below - I love to hear from you ♥️


	4. The Other Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You really have everything here.' Cap looks up at Steve, and Steve wants to reach out to him, to touch him with some kind of comfort, at the absolute devastation in other Steve's expression. But as he gets closer the other Steve whispers, 'Don't push him away, don’t pretend you don’t need him.' And Steve recoils as if he's been slapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to chapter four!
> 
> There is a little angst and there is a little smut and there are some unanswered questions. 
> 
> Okay... also... a little note before we start... No new tags for this chapter, but there will be two new tags added in chapter six that I want to give you fair warning for. I'm not adding it to the tags yet because I don't want to draw anyone in and have them find it's not here yet... but I also don't want to blindside you.
> 
> So here is fair warning for the addition of self-cest and m/m/m - steve/steve/bucky.
> 
> But just... not yet... 
> 
> Come talk to me [here](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) on tumblr - I can answer any questions and give you any heads up you feel like you might need.

The beta team arrive to do clean up, secure the remaining sedated agents and start testing the equipment in the basement. Jane is like a kid in a candy store at the site of everything she has to work with, but Steve feels sick. His focus is stolen by the setup of the chair; head restraints, arm restraints, all connected to the monitors and machinery.

He's glad they didn't get to see it in action.

Fury has insisted that Scott and Other Steve, Cap, get in the quinjet and come back to the compound. Steve is not overly impressed with this idea.

He does at least agree that they need to keep him restrained for now, and Cap complies. Steve's sure he'd be complicit to anything they might throw at him right now, he looks shattered, both emotionally and physically.

He looks broken.

But Bucky only has to speak to him in that quiet soft voice of his, and Cap is leaning into his space, wide eyed and holding his hands behind him willingly - to be manacled. They have to use the electric shackles they save for enhanced individuals. They've actually never used these particular manacles before, so at least Bruce and Tony have something to be excited about. But Scott is not happy about seeing Steve in restraints, and he's also looking between Cap and Bucky and Steve with a wariness that makes Steve want to shake him, ask him everything he's thinking, to hear his own thoughts reflected back to him and feel vindicated. But terrified that they might be true.

But now is not the time.

At least Wanda is looking better, now that they're in the air she’s able to use her power again, has lit her fingers up with it and is watching the red energy fan around them like a dance.

Nat and Maria are watching the Hydra agents, guns trained on them, while the jet is in autopilot. It's only minutes before they'll land at the compound, and then they can be Nick's problem. And Steve will be left with his own set of problems. All of which are contained in a six foot three, serum enhanced body, staring unreservedly at Bucky right now. And have yet to look away.

No, untrue. Steve is aware that Cap hasn’t solely been watching Bucky. He’d spent a noticeable amount of time watching Nat as they prepared for take off, though he said nothing to her, and she gave absolutely no indication, in true Nat fashion, that she had even noticed.

Bucky noticed. Steve knows because the tears in other Steve's eyes spilled over when he closed them. And Bucky reached out to touch his leg in comfort, squeeze the flesh there, pulling away only once Cap had smiled at him, sad but genuine. Steve has the impression of that touch burned into the inside of his eyelids.

From there, for the most part, Bucky has been diverting his attention between Wanda and Cap and the restrained agents. He’s spent almost no time engaged in paying any kind of attention to Steve. Who wants to order him to his side. Wants to take him by the hand and pull him close. Wants to put marks on him, marks that Bucky would wear proudly, that would scream to the whole world that he chooses Steve. That he wants Steve to look after him, to cherish him. To be his daddy.

God, he needs to pull it the fuck together.

Steve's nerves are saved by the autopilot system disengaging for landing. Maria takes over so she can get them to the tarmac while Steve keeps an eye on everyone from the seat closest to the front of the jet.

'Well hello there,' Maria says, watching the screen where the rear camera is being fed to the control panel. Steve follows her gaze and sees Sam and Nick waiting for them outside the Hanger. Sam must have flown back from Wakanda, must have left early, well before they had left for DC. Which Steve should have been told about and wasn't.

But he's glad to see him all the same. Though it's always a shock to see the Captain America colors in the flesh again. Shocks him back to the War and his dancing monkey routine for the government. To the few lonely years spent with Shield after waking from the ice. To leaving that uniform behind when they found how deep Hydra’s poison ran in the company that he’d trusted. In the Legacy of his uniform brought to life. Shield, Peggy had called it… and then let it become something foul. 

He is glad to see it now though - on someone who can wear it and fulfil its message of hope and truth. Not feel like it's rotting away at him from the inside with the weight of all its expectations.

'Sam!' Bucky shouts, as the jet's ramp starts to open and they get the first view of who's waiting for them. He's holding his position in the jet, watching over Wanda and Cap, but his smile is wide.

'Hey Bucky,' Sam says smiling back, hands on his hips, 'Heard you might be getting yourself into some trouble down here.'

It does not escape Steve's attention that Sam looks to Steve as he says that.

'I had no idea you were gonna be here!'

'Me either,' Steve says, and Sam gives him a look that implies that might have been deliberate.

'Yeah, I had a feeling you guys could use an extra pair of hands,' Sam says, boarding the Jet to clap Bucky on the shoulder as he passes to help Maria carry the stretcher with the injured agent.

'We could have used them in DC. But sure, show up when the work's done,' Maria says, as they lift together and walk out with the stretcher. Wanda makes an attempt to help them, but Bucky covers her hands with his and shakes his head. Which, by some miracle, she listens to and lets it go.

There's no need for her to be wasting her strength after the morning she's had. Steve would have absolutely said so, except he's been so busy watching Sam look between Bucky and Cap, Bucky and Steve, and Steve and Cap, that he's dropping the ball on his command structure.

He really does need to get it the fuck together. Nick is going to force him on some kind of leave. And Steve hasn't had forced leave since he put himself in the ice.

When did his day go from so perfect to so fucking brutal?

Somewhere around the time this other version of himself showed up. One with puppy dog eyes, stupid floppy hair and unwavering affection.

He hates this other Steve.

He's losing it.

'Rogers, what's next, boss?' Nat asks, pulling him out of his head, and Steve could kiss her. She's standing over Cap, who's still sitting in his seat, Wanda and Bucky have exited but are waiting by the jet. Scott is hovering next to Cap like he might vibrate out of skin at any minute. Cap is looking like he might cry again. Or vomit. Or keel over. It could honestly be all three.

'Nick?' Steve asks, turning to Fury, 'I assume you've got somewhere you want to put the Hydra agents?'

'I know some people who'd like to have a little chat with them.' Nick looks at Steve with his ridiculous intensity and narrows his eye. 'But I'm gonna have a little chat first myself.' He directs Maria and Sam to take the injured agent to go to medical first, but the shot was a through and through, at least to Steve's eye, and so it won't be hard to patch. The rest can get looked after once Nick's people have her.

Steve is a little worried for the kid, the scientist. But he made his bed with Hydra. Now he gets to suffer for his poor life choices. Everybody has to eventually.

Bucky takes his chance to clap Sam on the shoulder as he exits the jet, but his eyes are drawn to Cap in his restraints, who has glided down the Jet ramp gracefully despite the cumbersome shackles behind his back. Despite looking like a walking corpse. Scott is a little less agile, tripping on the chain trying to stick too close to Steve, and Nat has to catch him before he falls. Which gets the first smile out of her Steve's seen all day.

And Wanda is watching Steve.

Nick is staring between them all like some kind of disappointed head master and Steve is so sick of today. He wants it to be the morning again. He wants to be back in bed with Bucky. 'So.' Nick crosses his arms. 'What the fuck happened out there this time?'

'Everything was under control,' Steve says, hating how that sounds like he's making excuses, 'We had enemies, we were under fire, we returned fire, we extracted the package. We brought home suspects.' Steve stares Nick down, 'We got it right this time.'

Nick makes no move to reply. But he does shift his attention to Cap, who is standing at the foot of the plane, shoulders slumped, head hanging, but his eyes are on Nick now, with Bucky in his periphery - Steve can see that - and he's ready to answer questions.

'Can we let him inside, can we get him to medical?' Bucky says, speaking to Nick, not to Steve, and Steve can feel a tooth pop under the pressure of his jaw.

Nick looks Cap up and down, lets his eyes pass over the rest of them standing by, 'Yeah, okay, get him up to med bay - Steve, you take him. Bucky, you and Wanda report. Scott?'

'Yeah?'

'You go with your man.'

'Yes Sir,' Scott says with a smile and a sloppy salute.

'But you have ten minutes to help him get settled and then I want you back to report on this bank and what was going on.'

'Yep, you got it, Boss.' And Scott is practically bouncing on his toes.

'Steve you stay with him,' He says, pointing to Cap, 'And you, behave,' He says, addressing the other Steve for the first time. And Cap just looks at Nick with a frown, but nods his head.

Steve wonders what Fury is like in the other world. If they have one.

Bucky, Wanda and Nat go with Fury, and Scott and Steve head to the elevators with Cap between them. Still in his manacles.

'So,' Cap says, and they're the first words he's uttered to Steve at all, and Steve can hear the exhaustion behind them, 'What's your deal here?'

'My Deal?' Steve asks back, not sure whether he's referring to Steve's place at the compound, in the team, or with Bucky.

'Yeah, are you defected? From the government I mean.'

'Classified.' Steve says. Not wanting to talk about it. It's not, in fact, classified. He left the United States Government behind the same time he realized he'd been fighting for Hydra ever since he'd been pulled out of the ice and nobody had noticed. Not even Steve.

'Oh, yeah, he and Fury and Tony built this place up after they took out Hydra, when was that... four, five years ago in this timeline?' Scott asks. And Steve is thinking up some creative ways he could shut him up right now.

'You and Fury and Tony?' Cap asks, like that surprises him, 'You're working with Tony Stark?'

'Why? Is he some kind of evil genius in your timeline?' Steve asks, probably at least fifty percent serious.

'Close. I mean, he's Iron man... is he that here too?'

Steve nods his head. He isn't actually sure how much they should be telling this guy, who looks and sounds like Steve. Who Scott says  _ is _ Steve. But can they trust Scott? Can Steve trust anything they say? He hates all of this.

'He's not evil,' Cap says, turning away from Steve again, looking into nothing. Empty space. 'He's not that easy to work with though. Usually.'

'He helped us take out Hydra,' Steve says, not sure why he wants to defend Tony of all people, 'He's funding us out here, which is the only way we can keep our own jurisdiction.'

'He supports that?' Cap asks. And he's looking back at Steve now, head cocked. The elevator's almost at the Med level and Steve is conflicted about how much to say or not to say.

'Tony has never been a fan of the government.' He goes with the truth. He can't imagine that any version of Tony anywhere would be a fan of the government. Flipping them the bird at every opportunity has been fueling Tony's research his whole life, as far as Steve can tell.

And that's all they get. The doors are opening, Jarvis is telling them they've reached the Med Bay, and it only gives Steve a mild heart attack when he addresses them as Scott, Colonel Rogers and Captain Rogers as they step into the floor. If Jarvis can tell that it's Steve, from whatever biological readings he's taking from the elevator, then it must be true.

And that's terrifying.

What if the other Bucky, this tortured, ruined, lost version of Bucky is real too. What if he really is Bucky?

What does Steve do then?

'Steve!' Sam is saying, he and Maria are in the outer area, looking on through the plexiglass as the med team patch up the Hydra agent, 'Hey, and ah... other Steve. Hi.'

'Hello Sam,' Cap says, smile hinting at the corner of his mouth, 'It's good to see you like this.'

Sam looks down at himself and frowns. He's in Jeans and and a blue t-shirt with a white star. Red jacket. He's got the Captain America shield strapped to his back. Not Steve's shield. Steve kept it, Tony painted over the propaganda with Black and Grey so that he could keep it without feeling like a hypocrite. And when Sam took over the position, working to bridge a gap between the Government and the Avengers, Tony and Bruce had sourced the material to make a new Shield from the same vibranium. Painted it the old red white and blue.

Sam wears it well.

'Am I not like this where you're from?' Sam asks, 'Where are you from?' He adds as an afterthought. Like he hasn't been fully briefed by Fury and probably Nat - Steve knows they’re in contact - about the timelines and all the shit that's gone down in the last week.

'From a different timeline,' Cap says quietly, 'One that's probably responsible for this one even existing. Though I don't know... It seems like the differences span too far back.'

Scott looks at Cap and Cap looks at Scott and they shrug their shoulders.

'You might have to ask the brains trust about that one,' Sam says, and he starts walking as he's talking, heading around them to get to the elevator. 'I've gotta go see my boy, Bucky,' (Steve can feel the vein in his head start to pulse at the way Sam says 'my boy'), 'Find out what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into.'

And Cap looks at Steve then, sharp and narrow eyed, boring into him like his insides might give away state secrets. 'What does that mean?'

'Nothing.'

'Cap... the Colonel and Bucky are-'

'None of your business.' Steve cuts him off before Scott can voice it.

‘I’ll leave you guys to it, Sam says as he takes the elevator down with a short wave to Steve, and an unusually flat expression. Steve assumes Nat has been in his ear about something. And Cap is staring at Steve like he wants to light him on fire. But Steve is more worried that Cap is about to actually faint, the way he's listing, the pallor of his skin.

'Uh, Cap... other Steve... we need to get you sitting down. We probably need to get fluids into you, how much have they been feeding you?'

'Almost nothing.' Cap says, leaning a little into Steve's side as Steve takes him by the elbow and leads him to an empty bed, all the beds are divided by the plexiglass. Each separate section is by itself bigger than the tenement he grew up in with his Ma in Brooklyn.

'Drink? Did they give you anything to drink?'

'They put the toxin into bags of fluid when they fed them to me, through a drip,' Cap says, matter of fact, like that's a totally normal thing, 'So I got plenty to drink that way.' And Steve can't help but huff a laugh at how dark that is. It's funny.

'Jesus, Cap,' Scott is saying, helping Steve lower him to sitting on the bed, 'Jesus.'

'It's fine, I'm fine. You should go to the briefing, Scott, they're gonna need to know as much as you can tell them about Pym's particles so we can start looking for Bucky.'

'I will, I will, just let me wait to make sure they're going to take these off you,' Scott says, briefly touching the metal of the manacles.

'I can do that now,' Helen Cho says as she walks into the room, and Steve raises his eyebrows to her, but he lets her take them off. Helen wouldn't be taking them off without having consulted at least Fury first. Maybe Bruce. 'Yes, Colonel, Bruce is on his way now.'

The fact that she can tell what he's thinking is not reassuring. Too many people seem to be able to read Steve's thoughts lately - real or imagined. But Bruce in the room will at least make Steve feel better about Cap being out of the cuffs.

'Bruce Banner?' Cap asks, 'He's here too?'

Steve doesn't bother to nod, he can hear Bruce on his way now and knows that Cap will too soon enough. And he's right, when Bruce steps out of the elevator and onto the floor Cap can see him. And he smiles.

'Still Bruce,' he mutters to himself. Steve doesn't ask him to Clarify. He doesn't want to know.

Everything from this other timeline seems to have been more ruthless, more tragic. He doesn't want to know the fate this world might have faced. It will only add to his nightmares.

'Oh Steve, what happened?' Bruce asks as he walks into the room, heading straight for Cap with hands out, instruments in both. With one he measures something against Steve's forehead and with the other he waves it around, seeming to measure the air around Cap, who is rubbing his newly freed wrists and giving no indication of being bothered by Bruce's ministrations. 'Seems to be giving off the same signatures as Scott, but oh, your temperature is high. Hang on,' Bruce turns and using the same device to take Steve's temperature, which he flinches away from. But the damage is done. 'Nope, okay that's high even for you.'

'Is he gonna be okay?' Scott asks, and Helen shakes her head.

'That's not something we know yet, Mr Lang. But if he has anything like the serum our Steve has, I don't think we need to be worried.'

Scott's shoulders seem to drop in relief at that statement. 'Well maybe I should go down to the briefing...'

'You should,' Cap says, 'Please go,' he gives Scott's arm a squeeze from where he's sitting on the bed, arms finally free, 'Get them to start the search for Bucky now, if you can, the sooner we start the sooner we find him.'

Steve wants to argue that it's not their top priority, he can see that it wouldn’t be well received. He knows where this other Steve is coming from, knows he would feel the same if their positions were reversed. But they aren’t. And his own Bucky is his priority for right now. And Hydra. Yes, Hydra is the priority, to find out what they've done to the timeline here, if they've damaged it somehow. What kind of time rip they might be creating in that Bank vault, that would be messing with Wanda's head, her powers, so significantly.

But he doesn't have to say it. He knows that Fury will pursue the same line, they'll do it regardless, no need to stress this Steve out even more. Not yet.

'Now that Bruce is here you could go too,' Cap says to Steve quietly, 'Get back down to Bucky.'

Yes. Far too many people are reading his mind lately.

It's true. He  _ could  _ leave him here with Bruce. But he wont. He doesn't. He waits until more tests have been performed. Bruce has Cap drinking some kind of shake. Bloods have been taken. Readings done. All sorts of machines carted into the room, carried by Tony's minion droids, and Cap sits through them diligently. Looking slightly warmer, his skin tone coming back closer to the golden pigmentation Steve's has been ever since the serum. Though he's still gaunt, still thin.

'I know you don't want to answer this,' Cap says to Steve, once they've been left alone for a moment, for long enough for Bruce to get more of the nutritional shakes organized, 'But Nat... you and Nat are friends here?'

Steve looks at him and nods, 'We are.'

'She followed you here with Tony?'

'It was Nat's idea, this place,' Steve says, and for some reason he's not afraid to tell him this, 'She should be running it. She practically does.'

'Why isn't she?'

'She didn't want to. Asked not to.'

And other Steve is nodding his head. As if that makes perfect sense. And if his Nat is anything like this Nat then it probably does. 'But she's okay?'

'She's perfect,' Steve says. Which is simply the truth. Steve would be lost without her, he knows that. And he's lost enough in that thought that he startles when he hears Bucky step off the elevator. He knows the second Cap can hear him too, his face lighting up like a beacon. And though Steve can see Bucky, can see the cold mask he's wearing when he looks at Steve, he still feels himself breathing easier at the sheer proximity. It's a sobering thought.

'You really have everything here.' Cap looks up at Steve, and Steve wants to reach out to him, to touch him with some kind of comfort, at the absolute devastation in other Steve's expression. But as he gets closer the other Steve whispers, 'Don't push him away, don’t pretend you don’t need him.' And Steve recoils as if he's been slapped.

And then Bucky is there. And Steve is wrong footed all over again.

'Hey,' Bucky says, soft and smoky, 'I was just coming to check on you.' And Steve wants to be on the other end of the look he’s saved for Cap. Cap is lying back now, but the bed is lifted enough that he's practically sitting, a heat blanket over him and a drip attached. His fourth shake half finished in his hand. Hands that dwarf the bottle. Steve's hands. Bucky is standing close enough to touch him. And though Steve is sitting on the end of the same bed, legs turned in towards Cap, Bucky feels far too far away.

'That's very sweet of you, Buck,' other Steve says, smiling for the first time since he stepped off the jet.

And Jesus - Steve wants to scream.

'Are you feeling okay, do you need anything?' Bucky reaches out to hold the rails of the bed with his hand. 'Where did they say you're going to be staying? Do you have to stay in here?'

'Yeah, but it's just for the night. They want to keep an eye on me.' Other Steve is smiling, but Bucky looks over at Steve as if he's somehow directed them to keep Cap under guard, and Steve hates that he wants to shout it's not his fault. Before he gets a chance to say anything other Steve is putting his huge hand over Bucky's and squeezing it gently, 'It's fine, it's to make sure I'm healing, make sure the experiments haven’t caused any damage.'

'Okay,' Bucky says, nodding, glancing back at Steve with a fleeting sense of apology, 'Is someone getting you clothes? Who's looking after you?'

'Bucky,' Steve says carefully, not an admonishment, but still an interruption, 'Bruce is getting it sorted, and Scott is on his way back up to sit with him, everything is under control.' Steve is eyeing off Cap's hand over Bucky's like if he glares hard enough he can break it somehow. He can't. He can only watch Cap start to stroke his thumb over Bucky's wrist and he wants to jump in and rip them apart.

And Bucky... Bucky flips his hand over under Cap's and puts his other hand on top. So he's holding Cap's in both of his smaller hands, and he pats it, once, twice, and then let's it go. 'Well as long as you're okay, I'll let you get some rest.'

Cap looks like he wants to protest, but he takes his own furtive glance at Steve and seems to change his mind. 'I'm really fine. You should go. Steve could use a break from himself, I'm sure.'

And Bucky laughs when he looks back at Steve, laughing  _ at  _ him, but  _ fondly _ , and Steve will take it. Will take whatever makes Bucky's face soften like that when he looks at him.

'Okay, I'll come check on you in the morning.'

'I'm looking forward to it.' Cap has the softest smile on his face. And Steve just... doesn't know what to do. How to pull this back together.

He watches the way the other Steve is looking at Bucky, like he's everything, like he's precious. Steve can understand why. He can see the affection Cap is giving away so freely, and Bucky is feeding off it. Steve wants that too, he knows he does, he  _ craves  _ it. 

So maybe he shouldn't be fighting it so hard. 

He clears his throat to steal Bucky's focus, 'Can I walk you out, Buck?' 

He wants to sigh with relief at the small nod Bucky gives him. And holds his tongue as Bucky pats Cap on the leg as he says goodbye.

'Are you heading home?' Steve asks, as they leave the room. Casually. So casually.

'I was going to get someone to give me a ride. Nat maybe, if she's free. I don't want to bother Wanda when she's still not feeling a hundred percent.'

Steve can see Cap watching them from his bed, even though the glass is between them. He can hear them perfectly, Steve is sure.

'Do you... Have to go?' Steve asks, clearing his throat, 'Do you need to take care of Alpine?'

'I should,' Bucky says, 'I messaged Frank to give her some dinner about an hour ago, So she's okay. I just... I'm a bit tired.'

'Well maybe I could make you something to eat before you go?' Steve asks. And Bucky looks up at him, tilts his head that way he does. Bites his lip between his teeth, nervous. He's nervous. Which somehow makes Steve feel better, 'Would you let me do that for you, baby?' he asks quietly, barely a whisper, keeps his voice low, 'Would you let me make you something?'

'Yes,' he says, and something in Steve loosens at the word, 'Yeah that might be nice.' And it's not a smile, but it's the promise of one, in the way Bucky's mouth tilts just a fraction at the corner. The way his nose scrunches, for a millisecond.

'Can I take you upstairs?' Steve asks, moving closer, putting his hand to Bucky's forearm, sliding it down the sleeve of his undershirt, and down to the fingers of his hand, 'Do you need to get anything?'

'No, I think everything is still down in the locker room - I can get it later.'

'Okay good,' and Steve lets his hand run over Bucky's fingers, lets their skin slide together, their fingers curl around each other, and he pulls Bucky closer.

It feels better than it should that Bucky closes his fingers around Steve's, and leans into his shoulder. 

'Steve?' Bucky looks up at him as they step into the elevator.

'Yeah, Buck?'

'Are you really taking me upstairs to make me dinner?'

'I mean, I do want you to eat, but I also just want to spend time with you,' he looks down at Bucky, 'Is that okay? Is that what you want?'

'Yeah,' Bucky says, and he smiles, leans his head back into Steve's shoulder, 'Yeah that'd be nice.'

Steve doesn't know what he's done right this time but he leans back into Bucky, careful not to jostle him, keeping their hands linked as Jarvis lets them off the elevator and Steve leads them to the apartment.

'Where would you like to wait while I cook? The lounge? The counter?'

'Could I take a shower?' Bucky asks. And Steve would like him to take a shower. But he has the beginning of a plan in his mind, and he'd like to see it through, if Bucky will let him.

'Would you mind waiting?' Steve watches him for any signs of distress, that he might not be happy about making this another session. Whether he just wants to eat and go home. 'I'd like to wash you, after dinner, if you'd like that.'

And Bucky's eyes pop at the question. He swallows, drawing Steve's attention to that gorgeous throat, so long and graceful and desperate to be held.

'Bucky?' Steve asks, because Bucky hasn't answered, 'Would you like that, baby?'

He nods, his eyes are on Steve and Steve's hands as he moves around the kitchen, and Bucky takes a seat at the counter, 'Yeah, yes. Yes. You want to wash me?'

'I do,' Steve says, looking Bucky up and down. Not that Bucky is particularly dirty - even after the day they've had. And he smells delicious, all that salty sweat. But for what Steve wants to do, Bucky will need to be nice and clean.

'Yeah, I guess I could wait,' he says, fidgeting on the stool and almost falling off when he over-corrects.

'You sure you want to sit up here?' Steve asks, looking down at Bucky and trying not to laugh at that little fumble. 'You don't want to rest on the couch?'

'No I'd like to watch you,' he coughs, 'I mean, be here, with you. Keep you company.' And he's blushing. Oh. It's adorable. 'If that's okay?'

'Sure, baby, whatever you want.'

And Steve lets him sit and watch while he prepares. He cuts vegetables and seasons the steaks and puts rolls into the oven to warm. Green beans, corn, and steamed, buttered potatoes. It's simple, Steve doesn't want anything that will take too long, but it's hearty. It's what Bucky needs to keep healthy.

They don't talk much. Steve likes to concentrate on what he's doing - though Bucky is a distraction without having to say anything. Just sitting there, in his undershirt with its unbuttoned neckline and it's tight, ribbed fabric, a pale enough grey that Steve can almost see through it. He's too beautiful to be real.

And when it's ready Steve moves them to the dining table. Not much of a dining table really, only four place settings; the big family table is in the common room, This one is just for Steve. In fact Bucky has now eaten in this apartment with Steve more times than any other person. In all the years he's been living here.

And he doesn't help Bucky eat. This is a shared meal between friends. This is not a scene, that will come later, but Bucky doesn't seem to mind. They still haven't worked out the specifics of this contract and Bucky deserves that, but Steve is tired, and Bucky is tired, and tonight he wants to take care of him. They can talk about the other stuff later.

He wants to touch Bucky. He doesn't want to have to wait any more.

Bucky eats everything too quickly or too slowly. He gets caught watching Steve, and Steve raises an eyebrow at him, more than once, to remind him to keep eating, and so when he gets caught he shovels too much in at a time, not chewing it long enough. Steve reaches over a hand to him to hold his fork still.

'Not so fast, baby,' he says softly, but low, deep, 'Take your time, no choking, okay?'

Bucky nods.

'I need your throat in one piece, you can look after it for me can't you, baby?'

He nods again, just a slow nod, eyes flicking down to where Steve's lap is under the table.

'Finish up so I can get you cleaned up, then we'll play.'

After that Bucky's bites are regimented and precise. Timed like clockwork. Steve doesn't quite understand how he can switch so quickly between chaos and precision, but it's fascinating to watch. And when he's finished, Steve takes their plates to the sink, rinsing off the dishes and putting them into the dishwasher. Then he comes back to Bucky, who is waiting for him, without being asked, and puts a hand out for him to hold.

'Come with me, sweetheart.'

Bucky doesn't hesitate. He follows behind Steve through the bedroom, to the bathroom, eyes on Steve, on the sheer size of the space around them, on the shower and it's multiple heads, on the few products Steve has lined up in their place (he'll have to get shopping, have to find out exactly what product it is that smells so nice in Bucky's hair) and then back to Steve again.

'Undress please, baby,' Steve asks. And Bucky does it quickly but carefully. He folds up his clothes (though haphazardly at best) and puts them on the vanity counter, leaves his shoes on the floor, against the tiled wall. He gets down to his underwear and slides it down his legs, moving them to the pile and stepping towards Steve. 'Into the shower, baby.' Steve started running the water while he watched Bucky get undressed. It's at the right temperature now for both of them, and he directs Bucky to stand under the spray, facing the wall. Then he takes his own clothes off and places them next to Bucky's. He gets in behind Bucky and gently puts his hands on Bucky’s hips.

Bucky sighs into the contact. He leans back, letting his hair pass under the spray and exposing the long line of his throat to Steve. It's a move he's made before, consciously or unconsciously, and Steve wants to bite into it. And then remembers that he can.

So he does. He leans in and closes his teeth around the pulse point, biting down with a hint of force. Not much, just enough to leave a mark, and then he runs his tongue across the skin between his teeth. He sucks that skin into his mouth, tasting it, still salty enough to taste like Bucky, even under the running water. And he runs his hands up from Bucky's hips to his chest. He gets his fingers around a nipple and pinches it, Bucky arching up under his fingers, pushing back against Steve, and Steve can't help but rock himself into Bucky, feel the slide of his hard cock between Bucky's ass cheeks.

But that's not what they're here for. Steve lets go of Bucky's throat and nips it again, kisses the sting away, then shifts his mouth up to Bucky's ear.

'Buck,' Steve whispers, 'I'm going to slide a finger in, just one finger, open you up a little bit. Will you let me do that, baby?'

'Please,' Bucky says, whispered, rushed, 'Please, yes.'

'Thank you, baby,' Steve says, 'So good.' And he moves a hand away from Bucky's chest, but keeps his fingers around the nipple, teasing, pinching, pulling, keeping Bucky vibrating under his touch. He uses a little of the silicon based lube he placed in the shower nook a few days ago, flips the cap and squeezes it onto his fingers, holding it one handed, not prepared to take his other hand from where it's currently teasing the most beautifully breathless little noises from Bucky.

He tosses the tube back to the nook and spreads the thick gel across his index, middle finger and thumb. He runs his finger down the crack of Bucky's ass, who lets out a sigh at the touch, pressing himself back against Steve even further, and then teases it against his hole.

'You ready?'

'I'm ready.'

And he strokes his finger across the sensitive rim, pressing gently and gently forward until it slides through the resistant ring of muscle - and slowly, slowly pushes his finger into the warmth of Bucky's hole. Bucky melts against Steve, tips his head back to rest against Steve's shoulder, letting the water run down his throat, over his chest. Steve curls his finger a little and then pulls, cleaning as he goes, and then adds another finger to help loosen the tight wet heat of Bucky, to open him up. He lets his thumb rub over the skin between Bucky's ass and cock, piches it to the fingers that he has inside Bucky - and that has Bucky crying out. Enough that Steve does finally let go of his nipple to wrap his other hand around the base of Bucky's cock.

'No coming. you don't get to come yet, okay baby?'

'Sorry.'

'No, no, you did nothing wrong, Just don't come yet, you can do that for daddy, can't you? Baby boy?'

'I can, I can do it daddy.'

'I know you can.' Steve says, and he curls his fingers a little more, adds a third finger, sliding in next to the others with the aid of Steve's massage and the excess of lube inside Bucky. And then Steve is pulling his fingers out, leaving Bucky empty, Bucky who's ass tries to chase Steve as he pulls away. But Steve is washing his hands under the spray, washes them with the soap he has in the shower, and then hugs his arms around Bucky's middle, pulling him in tight and tucking his face over Bucky's shoulder. 'Are you ready for more'

'Yes, please, please,' Bucky says with short sharp breaths, 'I am, I am. I'm ready.'

'Is there anything more you need me to do with your hair, sweetheart? Or will it be okay to dry like this?'

And Bucky turns his head to Steve them, blinking the spray from his face to really look at him, 'No. It's just wet, it will be okay. We didn't wash it.'

And Steve files that information away in his head.

'Good, okay let's get you dry.' And he turns the water off, grabbing a towel from the shelving outside the shower to wrap around Bucky. Not bothering with one for himself.

He grips Bucky around his shoulders, drying him, takes the towel away when he's satisfied Bucky will be warm enough and then runs it over his hair, combing it back with his fingers when he's done, in the way Bucky likes to wear it, coiffed back, high and handsome.

'Let's go,' he says, pulling Bucky along with him into the bedroom, Bucky staring at him the whole time, a curious lift to his eyebrows, tilt to his head. ‘I have something for you actually, well...' Steve moves Bucky to sit at the foot of the bed, goes to the drawer in the wardrobe where he has his collar's placed in their boxes. It's not Bucky's collar. Bucky's hasn't arrived yet, but it's a placeholder. It's black and soft, fastened with studs, but has an inner suede lining. It's one of Steve's favorites, it's a practice collar. It doesn't have any decoration, nothing to give it character, it's comfortable, it helps transition, that's it's purpose. He brings it out in the black suede box and presents it to Bucky, who is watching him from the bed. 'It's temporary, until we get the one that I've ordered for you.'

Bucky looks into the box as Steve brings it closer and his eyes widen. His pupils are blown out there's barely an iris to speak of, and Steve doesn't know why he's so nervous, or why the way Bucky licks his lips settles something in his chest. And when Bucky reaches out to touch it and then stops himself, transfers his gaze up to Steve and asks, 'May I?' Steve feels his heart skip over.

'You may,' he replies, moving the box closer to Bucky so he can reach into it more easily from where he sits on the bed. And when he strokes his fingers along the leather, lets out a soft sigh at the touch of it, Steve takes it back to remove the collar and put the box on the bedside table. 'Can I put this on you?'

'Please. Yes, Sir,' Bucky nods, staring at the collar as Steve brings it closer, held outstretched between his hands.

'Let me know if it starts to hurt, if it's too tight, or if it chafes,' Steve says.

'I will, daddy.'

He closes his eyes to the word, just to savor the sound of it on Bucky's breathless tongue, 'And you remember your safeword?'

'Alpine.'

'You understand when to use it?'

'When I want you to stop everything.'

'Good boy, baby. Now, we didn't talk about this last time and that was a failing on my part-'

Bucky is shaking his head.

'It was, baby, we should have talked about traffic lights, while this is new, and we're still working through understanding what we like and what we don't like, you need a system to help you tell me how you're feeling.'

Bucky looks up and Steve from under his lashes, and makes no move to contradict him, but Steve knows him well enough already to read the disagreement there. It somehow makes it more impressive when he blinks slowly, trains his face to neutral and simply says, 'Yes, daddy.'

It scares Steve, how much that turns him on. 

'So I know you already know how this works, green for yes, orange for slow down, or if you're not sure about something, and red if you don't like it, but you don't necessarily want to break out of the scene yet, you just want me to stop what I'm doing.'

'I do. I understand, Sir.'

'I know you do, baby.' Steve slips the collar around his neck and fastens it at the back. And the sound of the press stud clicking into place is like a bell ringing for Steve. He feels like he can relax, breathe into his role. Become the version of himself that gets to have everything Steve wants. It's a sigh of relief. It's a benediction. 'How does that feel?' he asks.

'It feels good,' Bucky says, rolling his neck and sinking into it. Reaching a hand up to touch it at his throat, 'I like it.' The way he says it has Steve wanting things he needs to put aside.

'Can you turn over on the bed for me, baby? Get on your hands and knees for me.'

'Yes, daddy.' Bucky pushes back slowly and purposefully onto the bed with his hands, lifting his ass and sitting back further before turning over onto all fours, looking back to Steve once he's in position.

'Perfect,' Steve says. He runs a hand up Bucky's thigh to the smooth warm flesh of his ass, stroking the palm of his hand over it and then up Bucky's back along his gorgeous spine, just visible under the muscle. He lets his fingers run up and over the collar and into Bucky's hair and then gets his hands into it, gripping, pulling it back to lift Bucky's face. 'So pretty for me, sweetheart, like this. I like you like this, baby.'

Bucky doesn't move to nod or speak, just looks back at Steve.

'You like this, being all clean and open for me, sweet thing?'

Bucky closes his eyes but snaps them open before Steve can reprimand him, 'Yes, daddy.'

Steve lets go of Bucky's hair and slides his fingers down onto the back of Bucky's neck, grips him there, and uses a small amount of force to push him face down into the mattress.

Bucky doesn't fight it, he lets his elbows bend, he keeps himself loose, but Steve takes him by surprise when he uses his other hand to pull up Bucky's arm and pin it behind him. He transfers his hold on Bucky's neck to his other hand so that he can do the same to Bucky's other arm, pinning both arms behind his back.

'Look at me, Buck,' he says, easing pressure off his neck so Bucky can turn his head, take a deep breath, 'You can stay like this, can't you baby?'

'Yes, daddy.'

Steve climbs up behind Bucky, leans down over him until their bodies are pressed together, Bucky's eye's tracking him the whole time. He speaks directly into Bucky's ear, quietly, keeping his voice low, 'You’re mine like this, you know that don’t you? 

Bucky nods.

‘Words, baby.’

‘Yes, yours, I’m yours.’

‘I’m going to show you how much, I'm going to fuck you and fill you up till you're leaking, Would you like that sweetheart?' 

'Yeah, yes, yes, daddy,' Bucky whispers.

‘Fill you so full of me, baby boy.’

‘Please,’ Bucky whispers, ‘Please.’

Steve straightens back up again, keeping a hold on Bucky's wrists behind his back with one hand, using the other to slide a finger into Bucky's loose, slick hole. There's enough of the lubricant left to keep it smooth, enough that Steve will be able to fuck into Bucky without damaging him, but not enough that it wont hurt. He's still tight. And Steve is big, big enough to burn Bucky if he pushes straight in. But he wants Bucky to feel this. He wants him to feel it for days, so he lines his cock up to the delicate skin and presses the tip to the hole. He hears Bucky sigh, feels him sink a little into the mattress at the weight of Steve's body behind him, the pressure of the tip of his cock resting at Bucky's hole.

Steve wants to sink into Bucky in the same way. He pushes against the rim, rocks his hips slowly back and forth as he finds purchase, slides a finger in and slicks a little of the lube around the tip of his cock and then pushes in further, and it's just enough, the tight heat, for Steve to need more. To push further, too hard maybe, too fast, and Bucky cries out, closes his eyes, and arches his back. He opens them to Steve and looks up at him with want, open mouthed, and Steve keeps their gazes locked as he slams himself all the way into Bucky. Bucky is biting his lip so hard it's bleeding, and Steve leans all the way down to lick the blood away, lick his mouth open again.

'Good, so good,' he says as he pulls away, drawing his dick back and then slowly sinking back down into Bucky,

He has Bucky held by the wrists, he has his other hand on Bucky's hip, and he slams his cock home, pushing, thrusting, rocking his hips and letting Bucky's body suck him back in. So tight, so wet and hot. Leaving fingerprint bruises in Bucky’s smooth skin that will linger for days.

It doesn't take much, Steve has been hard since they left the elevator really, he sat through dinner, he got through the shower, and now, with Bucky underneath him, looking up at him with half lidded eyes and swollen lips, blood red, he's coming. He's filling Bucky up like he promised, and he can't stop, can feel himself getting hard again already at the new slick slide of his cock in Bucky's wet hole. He pulls out and lets go of Bucky's wrists, gets a hold of his hips and flips him over, runs his hands down thick gorgeous thighs to lift Bucky behind the knee and push both legs up to his chest, folding him in half as he pushes all the way back in, slides deep into Bucky's messy hole and starts to fuck him again.

'Gonna fill this hole up more, baby, my hole, mine to fill.' Steve's mouth is running, 'Gonna mess you up so bad honey, such a mess. My mess.'

Bucky's eyes are wide watching Steve, and Steve looks down to the mess he's fucking into, slides a finger alongside his cock, stretching Bucky open even further to watch his come leak out. Pulls his finger free and lifts it to his mouth.

'Oh god,' Bucky says on a breath, watching Steve taste his come mixed with Bucky's sweat, licking his lips.

Steve presses himself into Bucky and kisses him, grabs the hands that are reaching out for him and holds them behind Bucky's head, he bites at Bucky's bottom lip, and slams into him, using his hips to angle Bucky so he can push himself as deep as Bucky's body will take him and when he breaks away from Bucky's mouth, buries his head into the crook of bucky's neck, pressing his lips into the delicate skin of his throat, his hips are stuttering, his movements are becoming erratic. He feels his orgasm building a second time, feeling his own come leaking out around his cock.

And when Bucky whispers, 'Please, Steve,' like a prayer, Steve loses it, is coming again, so much that it's flooding out around his cock now, pooling underneath him, and he pulls out, letting go of Bucky's hands to slide down the bed.

'Don't move, baby,' Steve orders as his hands press gently into Bucky's legs to push them wider, mouthing along his inner thigh and down to Bucky's hole, ignoring the painfully hard dick straining against Bukcy’s stomach. He kisses up to Bucky's groin, to the mess there and he starts to lick, to suck, to clean it with his tongue.

_ 'Fuck _ , Steve,' Bucky cries out, his body jumping, fucking his ass down into Steve's tongue on reflex, 'Sorry, sorry.'

Steve reaches a hand up to keep Bucky's hips still, to hold him down as he licks and sucks his own come, getting deeper into Bucky with his tongue, cleaning him up, Bucky's hips still trying to grind down onto Steve with desperate little thrusts even as they are held still by Steve’s immovable hands.

And Steve can feel the moment it becomes too much for Bucky, his body arching off the bed, clenching around Steve, he comes, thick white stripes painting his stomach and chest, running down his cock.

But Steve is merciless. He licks the last drops of his own come from Bucy’s hole and then runs his tongue along Bucky's taint, up along his dick, swallowing him down, even as it softens, and he’s sucking, pulling off to lick and suck his way up Bucky’s stomach and chest, cleaning every last drop.

He ignores Bucky's choked cries, his bitten off moans, the way he's vibrating under Steve, his whole body like an exposed nerve.

Steve can't get enough of the way Bucky is whimpering, has to suck his pretty cock back into his mouth and use his teeth, just enough that Bucky can feel them, and he feels Buck’s dick filling again as Steve sucks and bites it, scraping along the skin like a knifes edge, digging into the slit and tasting more come, holding Bucky down as he tries to squirm out from Steve's grasp.

And it's not much more before Bucky is coming again, crying out as Steve sucks him dry, milks out every last drop and then pulls off.

He climbs up around Bucky to pull him close, to wrap his arms and legs around him.

'So good, you were so good, so beautiful, so perfect.'

'Fuck,' Bucky breathes, turning around in Steve's arms to snuggle into his chest, 'Fuck.'

'You okay?'

'I might be dead.'

Steve laughs, running his fingers through Bucky's hair. 'You should drink some water, have something to eat.'

'In a minute,' Bucky says, 'Let me just stay here for a minute.'

'You can stay as long as you like,' Steve says, placing a soft kiss to Bucky's hair. And Bucky freezes. He pulls his head back enough to look at Steve.

'Can I stay the night?'

'Yeah, Buck.'

'With you? Here?'

'You can,' Steve says, looking down at him, wishing that question didn't sound so unsure. 'You want me to take this off for you?' And Steve goes to remove the collar but Bucky stalls him with a hand.

'Can I wear it a bit longer?'

'Of course, baby,' Steve says, can feel himself smiling.

'Thanks, daddy,' Bucky says, burying himself back into Steve's chest.

They fall asleep like that. Together. 

It’s perfect.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me in the comments. I'm getting back to you all as soon as Nano is done, I swear - just one more day!!! 
> 
> Your headcanons and squeeling and fist waving is one of my favourite things about posting. It makes this such a collaboration. And I treasure it so much.
> 
> Thank you guys for being here with me.
> 
> See you next week!!
> 
> ❤ ❤ ❤


	5. Learning to let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I meant,' and Steve sits up in bed next to Bucky so that he isn't being looked down at, he sits straight and looks down at Bucky - not by much, but it's enough, 'I meant that we should keep the games and the scenes out of our work life - like you asked for Buck, and then outside of that... we are... more than coworkers.' Steve swallows his nerves, 'Friends was possibly the wrong word.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest readers,
> 
> It's late... I'm half asleep, so this note, if it's legible, is just a quick thank you for everything. All your comments, all your engagement, all your love for these characters that I have borrowed and played with...
> 
> My favourite part of the week is reading through the screaming and the love you send me, seeing your theories, hearing how much this story means to you - all of that means so much to me. 
> 
> I couldn't ask for more - you blow me away every week.
> 
> Thank you and enjoy. This chapter is a little softer again... maybe Steve is finally listening to you guys, and all your good advice 😘

Steve isn’t asleep for long before the screaming in his mind has him fighting to the surface, waking to bad memories and a racing pulse.

It occurs to him, as he breathes through the panic, gets himself settled, uses the warmth and sensation of the body next to him to ground himself, to come back to the present, that Bucky wanting to keep the collar on during the aftercare, that his wanting to feel the evidence of their contract around his neck for longer, could mean something different to both of them.

Steve had been lulled by the idea that Bucky’s want to be taken care of, to be dominated, could be greater than just the contract, greater than the sum of what Steve has outlined. Maybe Bucky wanting this is a sign of Bucky wanting to be Steve's baby more permanently.

But to Bucky... To Bucky maybe it meant that he didn't want the scene to end.That he wanted to spend the night with Steve and keep that band, that rule, in place. That it wasn’t real - his falling asleep in Steve's arms, his letting Steve look after him - it was still part of the game.

And all of that is on Steve. Because he keeps putting them off, the negotiations they need to make. The things they need to say.

Steve knows that they could write up something new, or simply make enough amendments to the current contract to include more reality. To help draw a line between scene and life, but allow them to navigate between the two more fluidly. Like a real relationship. Like they care about each other more than can be quantified by a signed piece of paper.

But he hasn't. He's waiting until he's more sure. Until he knows the answer wont rip him apart.

He just has to make sure that he doesn't leave it too late.

His thoughts are interrupted by the alarm. The alarm Steve sets and never needs, going off too early to be reasonable, which ordinarily means nothing to Steve - whose sleep is restless at the best of times. But having another person in his space changes his perception, makes the practise seem colder, sadder. And the last thing he wants is Bucky getting woken up at four in the morning for Steve to then leave him alone to follow his rigid schedule. Leave Bucky not knowing whether to stay or go. Where he stands. To feel any additional stress or worry than what Steve has already put him through.

Bucky needs sleep, and calm, and rest. Steve needs to stay.

So he shuts off the alarm. He turns back over and shushes Bucky, who is stirring but not awake, and Steve gets his arms around him to pull Bucky close, runs a finger along the collar, feeling the material, wondering if he’s made a mistake. This isn’t even Bucky’s collar, not the one Steve wants to see him in. It should be new, a collar that’s never been worn before. A collar that would be Bucky’s only. But he’d needed to see Bucky in something, something that would prove he was Steve's. Even if just for a little while.

He got what he wanted.

Bucky, more asleep than awake, buries himself into Steve, nuzzling his head under Steve's chin, tucking his hands up into Steve's chest and is breathing slowly and steadily with sleep again before Steve has finished thinking how much he wants to get used to this. How much he doesn’t deserve it.

And then suddenly Steve is waking later to the unfamiliar feeling of having lost track of time. He turns over carefully to read the clock, it's seven now. Three hours have gone by.

'Shit.'

'Wha’s-it?' Bucky slurs, groggy with sleep, 'Wha’s-rong?'

'Oh nothing, no nothing, I overslept a little.'

'Whattime'sit?' Bucky has rolled away from Steve and is stretching, 'Oh shit!' He says, looking at his phone. 'I need to get back to Alpine.'

'Do you have time to get breakfast?'

'Hmm... breakfast? Yeah, yeah I could do breakfast,' he says, not looking up from his phone and typing something to someone.

'Buck,' Steve says, watching the light from Bucky’s phone play over the angles of his beautiful face, 'You'll need a shower.'

'A shower... right right...' then he looks over at Steve who is resting on one elbow and staring down at Bucky, 'A shower with you?'

'If you like. Up to you.'

'I'd like, I mean... what would that mean exactly?'

'I'd like to fuck you again before breakfast, if you think you could take it.' Steve says. Enough just to watch Bucky go pink and fumbly.

'Umm, yeah, I mean yes, I would. I could. I can take it,' Bucky says, eyes wide and throat swallowing reflexively.

'I would be quick, a little rough, and then I'd have to clean you up, what do you think?'

Bucky is nodding.

'Have to take this collar off you, baby, it can't get wet.'

'Oh, yeah no, that's fine. That's okay. If you don't mind...'

'I don't mind.' Steve says. And if this is some way around having an actual conversation he'll take it. If this means that Bucky is happy to have sex again outside of delineated play time, then Steve can rest easier about everything...

Or not. Steve doesn’t want to keep making the same mistakes. Maybe he should be specific. Maybe he should actually follow Bucky's example and ask for what he wants.

'That would be... it wouldn't be a scene.'

'It wouldn't...?' Bucky says, rubbing his eyes and blinking up at Steve. 'What does that mean, Steve?'

'It would be... like two people just having sex because they like each other.'

Bucky is staring at him, but not saying anything. He sits up a little straighter in bed so that he's then looking down at Steve. 'Okay, just so I know where I stand today,' he says, and _ oh _ . Steve is in trouble when Bucky takes that tone. It's not supposed to be so fucking  _ hot _ . (Steve is supposed to be in charge here). 'When you said yesterday that nothing had changed' - ah... had he said that? - 'and that we should just be  _ friends _ when we're not actively having contractually outlined sex,' - yeah, okay, spoken back to him, Steve can see how that was a mistake - 'You meant that we could be friends who fuck as stipulated in their contract, but also sometimes around that...?' He looks lost, and Steve hates that he put that doubt in his mind. 'What does that  _ mean _ , Steve?'

'I meant,' and Steve sits up in bed next to Bucky so that he isn't being looked down at, he sits straight and looks down at Bucky - not by much, but it's enough, 'I meant that we should keep the games and the scenes out of our work life - like you asked for Buck, and then outside of that... we are... more than coworkers.' Steve swallows his nerves, 'Friends was possibly the wrong word.'

'No shit,' Bucky says, and Steve raises an eyebrow at the outburst.

'Language.'

'Right. Sorry,' but Bucky is smiling, 'There’s nothing about bad language in the contract though.'

'Bucky,' Steve tries to get them back on track, 'What I mean is... I care about you. And I'd like to keep caring about you, and  _ for  _ you, and fucking you... If that's okay with you.'

Bucky bites his lip as he looks up at Steve, but he doesn't answer right away. 'Yeah, that's okay with me'- and he fingers the collar around his throat - 'kinda like wearing this though.'

'Oh, the one I ordered for you is much nicer, baby,' Steve says, reaching over to run his fingers through Bucky's hair, tame it back how he likes, 'It's red, it has your name inscribed.'

'Oh,' Bucky squirms a little, 'Yeah, that sounds pretty good.' And just as Steve is thinking he could lean in, he could pull Bucky into his lap, Bucky's phone trills. Though Bucky makes no move to answer it, Steve looks at it and then back to Bucky.

'Did you get Alpine sorted?' Steve asks. He doesn't want Bucky to be worried about her, he probably needs to answer it, if that's Frank (the friendly neighbor), 'You should take that.'

'You don't mind?'

'I don't mind, Buck. I'll find you some clothes, you can meet me in the bathroom.' And Steve does lean in then, kisses Bucky softly on the mouth, just once, and then slips out of bed. Bucky is left with his lips in a pout, frozen in the wake of Steve's kiss, but Steve turns away from it, how adorable it is, to step into the closet and just breathe. Just for a second.

He can hear Bucky answer the call, can hear him talking softly to someone on the other end of the line, someone with a deep voice, gruff, not necessarily the friendly neighbor type voice Steve was expecting. But it's none of his business, and so he tunes it out. Uses his focus to look for clothes instead, something smaller, though Buck's thighs are probably the same size as Steve's, his legs just aren't quite as long. And his chest and shoulders aren't as broad. Whatever Steve chooses is going to be a little big on him, but the thought of that gives Steve the kind of thrill he doesn't understand. He's not going to fight it though.

He chooses some navy blue yoga pants that Nat bought him and he's worn maybe twice, because they felt far too tight in the calf (that’s not a thing Steve appreciates on himself - but he can see himself appreciating it on Bucky) and a soft gray sweater that will be a little big on Bucky, but it will be comfortable. And it's clean. So he takes them both and opens a packet of new underwear that he keeps in his bottom drawer - a five pack of white boxer briefs. Because they're the brand he likes, and so he bought spares and stocked up for when he needs to change them out. It's practical. He doesn't care that Nat tells him he's anal - whatever that means (he certainly knows what it means to  _ him _ , he doesn't think she means it the same way).

And when he steps out of the wardrobe, Bucky is off the phone, is standing at the foot of the bed with the collar in his hands, waiting for Steve so he can hand it over. Naked. And beautiful. And Steve has to catch his breath at the sleep rumpled softness of his hair, the lines in his skin from the crease of the sheets, the way his cheeks are flushed, just from Steve watching him. The bites and bruises from Steve's mouth and hands.

He could wake up to this forever and still never have enough.

'Hey, baby,' Steve says, keeping his voice soft and light, 'You ready?' He puts the clothes on the bed and takes the collar from Bucky, stepping past him to put it on top of the box on the bedside table. He slides a hand down Bucky's arm as he does so, letting his fingers trail down to Bucky's hand and then steps back, pulling Bucky with him, 'Okay, let's go.' And he leads Bucky into the bathroom once again. This time, they're both already undressed, so Steve gets the water running from the two shower heads and sets new towels out on the vanity while it heats up. He backs under the spray and pulls Bucky with him, the shower in this bathroom, unlike Bucky's, has no door. Just one glass panel running parallel to the wall which separates the shower from the tub.

Bucky follows him in and ducks his own head under the spray, closing in on Steve to reach out a tentative hand and place it over Steve's chest. 'Can I touch you?' he asks, fingers barely teasing at Steve's skin.

'You can touch me,' Steve answers, and Bucky lets his hand fall into Steve, lets it slide down Steve's chest and down his stomach around his hips and to his ass, where Bucky takes a firm grip, squeezing. He closes his eyes and then opens them to look up at Steve's face.

'God, I've been wanting to do that for so long,' he says, reaching his other hand around to grab hold of Steve's other ass cheek, pulling himself into Steve, rocking his dick up into Steve's dick. They're both already hard, and the friction of their cocks sliding together is delicious, Steve rocks into Bucky to force the pressure a little more, to change the angle and get his knee between Bucky's thick thighs. He wraps his arms around Bucky's waist and pulls him impossibly tighter. There's no inch of space between them, and he presses Bucky back into the wall. Reaches up a hand to angle the spray down so that Bucky wont get cold.

Bucky is looking up at him and smiling. His smile carries such softness, such a mix of innocence and mischief. He’s so full of feeling, Steve can’t look - doesn’t know how to answer it in a way that it deserves. Certainly not with words… but maybe Steve doesn't need them. It might be enough for him to just let go a little, and let Bucky in. Steve leans his face down to Bucky's and touches his forehead to Bucky's, lets their bodies continue rocking together, lets that heat build in his groin, lets it intensify. But doesn’t push it. Then he reaches for the lube he keeps in the shower nook and pops the top as Bucky laughs.

'I love that you keep lube in your shower, Steve.'

'Well, I like to be prepared. I'll have you know I bought this just for you, baby.'

'You did?' Bucky asks,and he turns his face up to Steve as he does, their noses touching.

Steve tilts his face just enough to get his lips to Bucky's lips, 'I did,' he says and kisses Bucky, letting it linger, letting his tongue lick Bucky's mouth open, letting it taste him as the water runs down their faces.

He covers his fingers with the lube and reaches down between Bucky's legs, having to maneuver around their cocks to slide underneath and reach down to Bucky's hole. He rubs his finger over it gently, it's still a little loose, a little wet from last night, though Steve had cleaned up most of the mess with his tongue.

His finger pushes in without resistance and Bucky sighs into Steve's mouth, moans around Steve's tongue as Steve curls that finger and presses into Bucky's prostate. Steve gently slides another finger into that warmth, has to pump it a few times to push all the way in, but Bucky is clenching around him, drawing him in, and his fingers keep pumping as Bucky starts to fuck down onto them and then back up into the friction of Steve's hard cock.

'God, you feel so sweet baby, you feel so tight,' Steve says between lazy, open mouthed kisses, and biting into Bucky's lips at those beautiful breathy little noises he's making, 'Gotta get my cock inside you sweetheart, gotta fuck you,' Steve is saying, letting his words just spill out, 'Can I fuck you, baby?'

'Yeah, yes, Steve, please,' Bucky is pleading, reaching up to kiss harder, messier, 'I want it, I want it.'

And Steve wants it too, he pulls out his fingers and lifts Bucky's legs around his waist, holds him by his thighs and slams him into the tile of the wall, lining up and sliding his cock into Bucky as he does, and Bucky lets out a choked huff at the slap of his back against the wall, he thrusts his own hips up into Steve to give him the angle to be able to bottom out, slide all the way inside him, so deep it must be painful, but Bucky is just panting a litany of yes yes yes's into Steve's mouth and Steve needs more, he pulls all the way out and then slams back into him, kissing him throughout, whispering his own sweet words to Bucky, how good he feels, how perfect he is, how he wants to never stop fucking him, and Bucky has his hands around Steve's neck, is gripping his fingers into the hair at Steve's nape and pulling him close, clutching at him.

Bucky comes with Steve's name on his lips and Steve can't help but follow. Filling him up with his come, hard again already, but pulling out, not wanting to hurt him. He wants Bucky to be able to feel him, to remember Steve inside him, to be thinking of it all day, but he doesn't want to hurt him. So he pulls back and then lets his cock slide against Bucky's ass, lets Bucky kiss him through it, call him daddy, hold him so tightly, and it's enough to have Bucky in his arms, in his mouth, on his mind. Just the knowledge of Bucky is enough to push him over the edge and Steve is coming again. Hot and fast into the wall of the shower.

'Fuck,' Bucky is breathing hard, still kissing Steve, 'Fuck, Steve.'

'You're just too fucking gorgeous, sweetheart,' Steve says pulling back from Bucky's mouth to looks down into his pretty face, 'I can't get enough.'

And Bucky is looking back up at Steve like Steve is the sun. He lets his head fall back against the tile, lets his eyes close. Smiles like he's found something he thought he'd lost.

Steve can relate.

'Alright, let's get you cleaned up,' he says, gently letting Bucky's legs down so he can stand, holding him up until he's sure Bucky has his balance. 'Do we need to wash this hair? Or it's still fine?' he asks, and can't help but smile when Bucky laughs at him again.

'I'm not using this old man shampoo of yours, Rogers,' he says with a grin, 'I'll take my chances as is thank you.'

And Steve slaps his butt for the old man comment, but Bucky just laughs again, reaching around Steve for the soap and squeezing it into his hands, lathering them up and then putting them to Steve. And though Steve had every intention of washing Bucky this morning, he isn't going to stop him. Truthfully, he loves the feel of Bucky's hands on him, rubbing soapy circles into his muscles, turning Steve around gently so he can wash his shoulders, his back, his ass, his thighs.

He's never let anyone touch him like this before.

And he wants to shy away from it, but it feels too good, he knows he wants to keep it. Keep this happy laughing Bucky. This sweet Bucky. He wants to keep all of this. If he can.

Maybe he can.

By the time they make it to the common room, they’re late for breakfast. Steve had no eggs or milk left in the apartment - and Bucky had wanted coffee. So the common room seemed like the best idea. And the fact that they had slept in, and taken a little too long to get ready... well Steve had hoped they might get this space to themselves. 

But Steve is not that lucky.

Bruce is sitting with some instrumentation strewn across the table and his funky tea in a pot by his elbow. And Scott's arm seems to have healed, he's smearing his own bagels this morning, smiling and laughing at Bruce's story, but Steve has eyes and ears for one man only, and he's sitting between Bruce and Scott, staring into his eggs with little life in him.

Steve's alternate self is at least looking less grey and more golden today. Less sunken and a little less hollow. Steve is happy to see him looking more like himself - like the version of himself that still wore the red white and blue, the version that still believed in an America that he wanted to protect. Defend. More often than not these days Steve spends his time fighting to protect this country from itself.

But Steve would be happier if this other Steve could look more like himself somewhere else. Somewhere that isn't anywhere near Bucky. Somewhere that he can brood and stare morosely into his eggs that isn't directly in Bucky's perfect sightline. Because Steve watches his other self's face change the second Bucky walks in behind Steve. To joy, to hunger, to bittersweet sadness and back to joy again.

But it's the way Bucky says, 'Hey,' with that softness he uses to greet people he likes, the way he says, 'Oh, you're looking so much better already,' with a smile and he's leaning right over the table to put his hand on other Steve's forehead. Like he's a child who's not feeling well. Steve wants to reach out and snatch that hand away. And yet he can't blame Bucky for it when he has almost the same compunction. To reach out for this poor lost other Steve and comfort him. Keep him smiling like there's a way out of this.

'Thanks, Buck,' the other Steve,  _ Cap _ , says, reaching his forehead up into Bucky's hand. 'I feel much better.'

'Yeah, Doctor Cho cleared him for breakfast up here and Fury says it's fine. As long as we don't leave the compound.' Scott points a finger up to the ceiling, 'Jarvis will be keeping his eyes on us.'

'So to speak,' Jarvis pipes up from his speakers, 'I don't actually have eyes.'

'Thank you Jarvis,' Steve says, somewhere between sarcasm and sincerity. Turning to Bucky 'What do you feel like for breakfast?'

Bucky shrugs, 'What's on offer?'

Steve walks past him, Bucky having finally taken his hand from Cap's head, and Steve brushes past Bucky's fingers as he steps into the kitchen to have a look through what's been left behind by the pack of scavengers that have clearly torn through here this morning.

'There's still Bagels,' Steve looks through the hamper, and peaks into the fridge, 'There's eggs - I could cook you an omelette?' Steve asks with a smile and scores himself a point when he sees Bucky blush.

'A bagel will be fine,'

'And fruit,' Steve says.

'Sure, and fruit,' Bucky agrees with a smile, Cap watching them intensely, 'And coffee? Is there coffee?' Bucky asks. And Cap is up out of his chair before Steve has even had a chance to answer.

'I could make you a coffee, Buck,' he says, sweeping the bangs of his too long fringe back with bruised fingers, 'Let me guess, you have it with a lot of cream and a lot of sugar.'

And Bucky is chuckling, smile wide, 'You know how I like my coffee?’

‘Lucky guess,’ Cap says, and though his smile could only be described as sad, he winks at Bucky. Steve doesn’t so much love the way Bucky blushes this time. 

‘Is that how your Bucky takes his coffee?’ Bucky stands back to let Cap past him and to the espresso machine that is Tony’s favourite toy.

It doesn’t escape Steve’s attention that Scott moves down to occupy Cap’s seat, so that he’ll have room to sit by Bucky when they return to the table.

'Yeah, most mornings it’s the only way I could get Bucky out of bed - the smell of too sweet coffee wafted under his nose.'

'You guys lived together?' Bucky asks. And something about that clutches at Steve, tugs at him. The idea of having Bucky in his bed every morning, waking him up with a coffee, knowing just the way he likes it.

'Pretty much forever. From the time my Ma died. I was barely out of school,' Cap is saying, and there’s something in his voice that makes Steve want to pull his Bucky in and cradle him. He's known Bucky barely a week and he already knows how badly it would hurt to lose him.

Jesus. Imagine if he'd had Bucky all his life... and then lost him like that... He feels sick at the thought.

'Oh really? You guys were together that long?' And Bucky sounds surprised. Which, given what they know about this duplicate Steve and his Bucky, means it would have been close to ninety years ago.

That's a long time to love someone.

'We were, and we weren't' Cap says, voice wavering, 'We were friends, but we were never together, not like we are now, husbands’ - and Steve nearly chokes on his own spit at that word - 'until well after I got pulled out of the ice. Until I'd found Bucky and we'd set him up to help heal the damage Hydra did to his head. His heart.'

'Is he okay?' Bucky asks softly, and Cap looks at him with so much sorrow it's painful.

'He is now. He  _ was _ ... he,' other Steve has to take a breath and Scott and Bruce are making careful side eyes at each other from where they still sit at the table, 'He was never the same, but then neither was I.' And Cap turns to Steve as he says it, like he knows. Like he can feel how broken Steve is. Has been. For years. What the war did to him. All that death. All that killing.

Bucky has a hand on Cap’s forearm, but he doesn’t ask anything further, Tony’s espresso machine is not overly complicated but Cap is suddenly looking at it a little warily.

'Let me,' Steve says, one hand on Bucky's shoulder and the other taking the mug from Cap's hands. He steps back and lets them have their moment - for what he’s been through, Cap deserves the comfort of someone who cares, and Steve knows Bucky means that comfort genuinely - turns to the machine and adds the beans, switches it to medium strength, presses what needs to be pressed and gets some milk frothing.

He hears ‘thank you's’ from Cap and Bucky, but truthfully, he just needs an excuse to turn away. And he’s content to listen as Bucky and Cap talk quietly about what life was like for him in Wakanda, on a goat farm of all things, how Bucky has often heard Sam talk about how beautiful it is there but has never been. 

'You should get your Steve to take you,' Cap says. And Steve's chest might puff up a little at the way Cap says 'your'. And Steve isn't ready to turn around yet, but he has a feeling he knows exactly the face his other self is likely to be pulling. 

'Oh we don't, I mean we're not,' Bucky says. And Steve's stomach wants to hit the floor with a thud.

'Oh you two aren’t together?' Cap asks, and Steve can almost hear the smirk in his voice. 'You looked pretty ‘together’ when you walked in here this morning.'

'Oh, yeah, we’re, well we’re doing things but I mean.... It’s not like _taking_ _holiday’s_ together.'

'I bet you'd be surprised,' Cap says with a smile, Steve has turned around, the coffee ready, and is witness to the embers of it, 'At the sort of together you’ll turn out to be.'

Steve isn't sure if he loves Cap or hates him. 'I would take you to Wakanda, Buck,' Steve says, and knows it's true as soon as the words have left his mouth, 'Whenever you want to go.'

‘You would?’ Bucky asks.

Steve doesn’t appreciate the laugh he hears Scott smothering. ‘I would,’ Steve says, ignoring the others and their stupid knowing faces, ‘Might be nice to get away from here for a bit.’

Bucky’s blushing again, soft and sweet and Steve is aware he’s probably staring at him sort of hopelessly in the face of it. But then he frowns. 'We need to find the other me first,' Bucky says, and looks up at Cap, 'Which is our top priority.'

  
  


Steven hands him the bagel he's added some cream cheese to, and starts to gather fruit into a bowl to wash for him and set down at the table. Cap looks to Steve and the way he’s avoiding Bucky’s eyes and narrows his own. 

Steve is not as optimistic about their chances, but nobody needs to know that. Least of all Bucky. Steve has the feeling he can’t hide that from Cap though.

  
  


'We have a briefing soon and then we're going to be leaving. Well... Bruce said it might be tomorrow, they have a bit more work to do to determine exactly where the other anomaly occurred.' Bucky says, sitting with his bagel and his coffee and pulling his chair closer to Cap as he sits down next to him.

'I think tomorrow,' Bruce says, as Steve sits down with cereal and milk, puts the fruit in front of Bucky and resigns himself to sitting on the opposite side of the table.

It gives him a better vantage point anyway, to keep an eye on the way they've leant their bodies in together, so that Cap can smile at Bucky with longing and Bucky can fret over his sadness.

And it bothers Steve that the picture of them like that has his mind working overtime. Because they look beautiful together. 

He listens to the others chat about plans as he tries to stop imagining Cap's hands on Bucky the way Steve had had his hands on him this morning. Works to stop his brain from wondering whether Cap needs the control Steve needs to survive, thrives off the domination of his partner, planning a scene, taking care of them, of giving them exactly what they need, the same way that Steve does. How similar are they? 

He’s failing though, he can't stop anything. He's losing his grip, because all he can see now is Cap and Bucky, Cap behind him, arms wrapped around him, hands on Bucky's chest, Bucky's head falling back onto Cap's shoulder, his mouth open, breathing heavy. And in his mind Cap is on his knees, Bucky in his lap, thighs spread over Cap’s thighs, Cap pumping into him, sliding his hands down Bucky's body to lift his hips and slam him back down onto Cap's cock, Steve's cock, the same, and Steve watching them, directing them, whispering instructions into Cap's ear, driving him to ferocity with the things he could do to Bucky, to what Bucky would let them do.

Oh god. 

Now that it's there he can't shake it, and he's so hard under the table, he has to press down on his dick, hold it down, squeeze some control back over it to try and will it away. At least he's in jeans, not sweat pants. The thought only serves to make him acutely aware that Bucky is sitting across from him in Steve's clothes, covered in Steve's marks, so recently full of Steve's come. He is Steve's. He  _ wants _ to be. Bucky doesn't fully understand all of what he would be taking on board, all of Steve's baggage - but Steve knows Bucky wants it.

They just need to find the other Bucky. To get Cap back his Bucky, and all of this can be put behind them. They can send them back to their timeline. Steve can keep these feelings to himself and never complicate anything.

'Right Steve?' Bucky asks, and Steve has missed the entire conversation.

'Right,' he says. Rather than admit he has no idea what they're talking about. But Cap looks over at him and raises an eyebrow. Steve wonders if he looks half as pompous when he pulls that face.

'You've tracked the anomalies before and found nothing?'

'That's true,' Steve says. Because up till now they never had all the facts, Jane and Bruce had had a breakthrough with the information Scott being here afforded them. He can only hope Cap gives them as much of a boost.

'But you didn't know then what you know now,' Bucky is saying, 'Right Steve? Right Bruce? It's all going to be different now.'

'That's how we found you Steve. Other Steve. Wait... what are we calling you, it's confusing when you're both here,' Bruce is looking between the two of them with his head tilted in confusion.

'Call me Cap, it seems to be working,' Cap says, and Steve nods. Steve hasn’t been Captain America for a long time, and they know Scott calls him Cap, he must still be the Captain in his own timeline.

'Well, Cap, I have a good feeling about it,' Bruce continues, 'And Doctor Foster is probably the most brilliant person I've ever met, so it's all in good hands, don't worry.'

Cap's shoulders seem to relax, but the sadness is etched into his eyes. It probably won't go anywhere until they actually have the other Bucky with them in the flesh. It would be true for Steve. It must be true for Cap too.

'We'll find him.' Steve uses every ounce of authority he has in his voice. And he reaches out softly with his leg under the table to give Cap a reassuring tap on the calf. 'We'll find your Bucky.'

But they don't.

Two weeks go by, and in some ways they’re amazing. It’s two weeks of Steve and Bucky getting to be together. They have this new dance, and it's different. It’s better. They talk about things. Steve doesn't always  _ get  _ it, doesn't always get it  _ right _ . But he’s learning that when he gets it wrong, Bucky will give him time and space to find a way through it. 

It’s two weeks of Alpine. Two weeks of being hissed at, scratched, ignored, gloated at; and of Steve trying to desperately not to care that a fucking cat doesn’t seem to want to share Bucky with him. He wonders how much he and Alpine actually have in common. And the more he sees himself in her, in how scrappy and spiteful she is, how possessive, how stubborn, the more he realises what it might be that Bucky sees in him.

It’s fucking terrifying. He’s relating to a cat. A  _ cat _ .

But they do start to get along better once Steve decides that Alpine possibly has a right to be jealous. And he starts to make an effort to feed her, to pet her when she passes, to hold his hand out to her when he arrives with Bucky (to pick him up, to drop him off, to be here with him so that they can spend time together and not leave the cat with Frank…) so that she can get used to him before he tries to touch her or speak to her. And whatever he’s doing seems like it might be working. At least she seems to be warming up to him…

It’s nights of choking Bucky with his hands and with his cock. It’s nights of tying him up and holding him down and edging him until he cries. It’s nights of pressing him down with sweet words and softly teasing fingers and kissing his pretty pink mouth until they come together, wrapped in each other, and fall asleep the same way.

It’s two weeks of Steve learning to let Bucky in.

But.

It’s two full weeks of Jane and Bruce looking but not finding, and then finding but not being able to test because the signal’s in fucking Bucharest and they have no authority there. It’s two full weeks of Sam watching Steve and Bucky with laser focus as he argues with the government over what they need. Of Fury crossing arms and lifting his chin and running out of ways not to answer questions. It’s two full weeks of red tape and bull shit that Steve doesn’t want to hear about. That Cap doesn’t want to hear about. That Bucky is furious about.

So it’s two full weeks of watching Cap watch Bucky. Watching Cap slowly collapse in on himself. Watching Bucky get more and more frustrated that they can’t help, more and more worried that Cap is not coping. Scott doing his best to keep up morale, to keep Cap smiling, to keep him from sleeping too much and talking too little and forgetting to eat.

Steve will admit to himself that it’s heartbreaking, the memory of Cap whispering that Steve has everything… pleading with him not to push Bucky away. Now watching them grow closer, watching Steve take that advice to heart. And all the while seeing the opportunities to find his own Bucky slip further and further through his fingers. 

And then they finally get clearance to make the trip. 

The look on Cap's face at being made to stay behind in the compound when Bucky, Steve, Wanda and Nat are being sent back out into the field, might have killed Fury if Bucky hadn’t been there to calm him down.

This is not just a quick flight to DC, a flight to Bucharest takes time, planning, infrastructure. They set up in a safe house near to the hot spot that Jane has extrapolated - as accurately as possible without physically testing that the quantum event had ripped an actual hole - so they can rest and get ready. Jane flies with them to take readings, but she’s not allowed at the sight until they’ve walked it at least once. 

But there's nothing there. There's a void, Wanda can feel it, 'Feels like Camp Lehigh,' she says, 'Like the desert when we found Scott... not like the bank.'

Jane is sent in with her equipment and comes to much the same conclusion. 

‘It’s definitely a rip,’ she says, ‘The signatures match, this is similar to Nevada, similar to Jersey, but different from the bank. A natural rip, not Hydra, and someone’s come through. Maybe five weeks ago. Give or take a day.’

She liaises with Bruce back at the compound, but without a body, without the traveller, they don’t have a lot to do.

That has Steve both relieved and frustrated. There's no leads. No trail. Nothing to track. They head back to New York feeling lost and dejected. And Cap is not happy to see them when they do.

‘This was a much later anomaly than yours,' Jane explains to Cap as they sit around the table in the briefing room, 'From only a month ago, but I'm positive it's a traveller. We’ve seen other quantum events and they haven’t had these readings. They haven’t been breaches between the universes.'

Cap has his eyes on Bucky and has to look away as Jane speaks, 'Hydra have him,' he says into the table, 'Jesus, if it was really him, they have him. He could be anywhere.'

'Steve, we don't know that,' Bucky is watching Cap, addressing Cap, but calling him Steve. 

Steve has to clench his fist against the onslaught of emotion, though it's hard to tell what he's feeling; anger or jealousy - or  _ sadness _ . It's fair to say, whatever it is, he hates it.

Cap must be feeling it all of it ad more. 'I gave them all the fucking information they needed to find him. To catch him.' The vein in Cap's forehead looks in danger of bursting, and Steve lays a hand on Cap’s thigh, digs his fingers in to give him purchase, give him something else to focus on for a second.

'You didn't give them anything, they stole it from you,' Steve says, facing Cap, 'And we don't know anything yet, but I honestly didn't get the feeling Hydra had been there.' He looks over at Nat and Nat is nodding her head.

'Me either,' she says to Cap, and the tension in his face starts to ease as soon as she says it, he trusts her more than he trusts Steve, 'Hydra aren't that clean. And they had almost everything left to them in that bank with you. I don't get the feeling it's Hydra.'

'We have some other avenues to explore,' Fury cuts in, 'I'm going to send Nat and Wanda back in to see if they can track with more stealth. Keep it small, keep it quiet.' Fury is looking at Cap now too, his eye narrowed, 'It could just be that your boy doesn't want to be found.'

'You should have let me go with you,' Scott is saying, shaking his head, 'He didn't know he could trust you. We have no idea how many timelines he's been to, how many versions of you all he's run into. It's not always good.' And it's the first time Steve's seen Scott look so dark. 'Shield can almost never be trusted, and sometimes you guys are still with Shield. He wouldn't trust you.'

Bucky gives Steve a look but it's fleeting. He had wanted Scott on the mission. But after the way Scott went off mission at the bank, he’s a liability. Steve can't have that on his team. He needs everyone on the same page.

'Wanda, you and Nat leave in a couple days. You need to get travel and a new safe house sorted. And you'll probably need to go dark to keep invisible. Jane, you get working on the tracking device for the pym tech that might be allowing him to go small.' Fury looks at Scott, 'You too, you do what the Doc tells you to do, understood?' Scott nods and says nothing. But he's not happy.

'And me?' Cap asks. 'Am I a prisoner here?'

'No!' Bucky says at the time time Fury shakes his head.

'No. But you're not active. You need to rest and you need to let us handle this. We still don't know the full effects of what Hydra did to you.' Fury tries to stare Cap down, but Cap keeps his gaze steady, keeps his jaw clenched. 'You help the doc's when they need it and you stay out of trouble.'

'Right. Be a good boy.' And he looks so aggressively sarcastic, it shouldn't hit Steve like it does, but  _ fuck _ . He does not need more of these fucking  _ ideas _ in his head.

The way Bucky is looking at the both of them, the way he swallows, runs that fucking tongue over his bottom lip, has Steve worried for his own sanity, it really does. Bucky looks like he wants to dive into those possibilities. And Steve can't even blame him.

'Dismissed, all of you, get out,' Fury snaps, 'Barnes, Rogers, you too get him out of his room for a bit, will you?' Nick glances at Cap and then back again, 'At least let him stretch his legs. But keep an eye on him,' he says directly to Steve, 'Do not let him out of your sight.'

And then he's gone.

Everyone files out of the room, talking and waving their arms and making plans. And Bucky and Steve are left staring at Cap, who's staring back at them. 'What now?'

Bucky looks at Steve and Steve has nothing to give him. Has no idea where they go from here. But Bucky must have some ideas of his own, because he turns to cap and asks, 'Want to have dinner with us?'

And Cap's face softens, not with a smile, but just, relief maybe - comfort. 'That sounds amazing Buck, I would love that.'

They both turn to Steve then, looking to him for direction. 

'Sure I can cook us something.'

Bucky reaches over to squeeze his hand and then passes by him to help Cap out of his chair. To pull him along by the hand. He reaches up to touch the poor excuse for a beard Cap is sporting, running a palm over his cheek. 'Maybe we could tidy this up for you.'

'Would you?' Cap asks, smiling down at Bucky, still so sad, still so adoringly.

'Of course,' Bucky says breathlessly. 'We can get you all cleaned up.'

Jesus. This is such a bad idea. But Steve has nowhere to go but forward. And as long as he's there, as long as Steve is with them, he can keep everything under control.

He's sure of it.

(He's not. He's not sure of it at all).

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always - Come yell at me in the comments. I've been catching up on my sleep and am ready to get back to you all ❤ 
> 
> Your headcanons and squeeling and fist waving is one of my favourite things about posting. It makes this such a collaboration. And I treasure it so much.
> 
> Thank you guys for being here with me.
> 
> See you next week!!
> 
> Come talk to me [here](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want sneak peaks, spoiler alerts or if you have any questions. I love to hear form you.
> 
> ❤ ❤ ❤


	6. It's just dinner (it's not just dinner)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve isn't blind to the fact that Cap is a softer, sadder version of himself. One that Bucky has attached himself to, wants to protect. Wants to save. And that's a powerful feeling. Steve is all too aware - the attraction of wanting to take care of someone, give them what they need.
> 
> And the idea of them... together. The idea of what that would look like to Steve, would feel like to watch, to control, to get a different view of Bucky losing himself, being held down, being fucked into, but still by himself... not really someone else, just another version of himself... It is appealing to Steve in a way he can't ignore.
> 
> And it could be a way to give Cap a small taste of what he needs. Help him claw his way back to being himself again. Have him find the means to break free of this depression he's sunk into. Could Steve lend him some of his control - as a way to reach out to him and keep him safe - at least until they can bring back to him what's missing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hey... Hi there...
> 
> So ah... this chapter... well the summary really tells you everything you need to know.
> 
> The tags are updated. The warnings are in place. If you are not prepared for some m/m/m then perhaps turn back now. But if you trust me... if you want to see what could possibly happen next... if you're emotionally invested in the happiness of these characters... Take my hand, readers, friends, family. Take my hand and _trust me_. 
> 
> It's all going to be okay...

Somewhere between, 'Come have dinner with us,' and 'We could tidy this up for you,' Steve had resigned himself to the understanding that Bucky was adopting Cap like some kind of stray kitten. Which, knowing how Bucky feels about cats, doesn't fill Steve's mind with any relief.

He's thinking about what he has in the kitchen, what he can make for dinner that will be enough food for all three of them. And it's doable, getting something prepared, he can do it with what he has. He's been stocking up for Bucky, knowing he would be around more, and he has... the last two weeks have been something different for Steve. 

He can't put his finger on why he loves instead of hates it. The way Bucky has infiltrated everything Steve had kept so ordered. So centered. And is now starting to fray around the edges.

The way the apartment just has more of everything now that Bucky is around. Steve had bought the brand of shampoo and conditioner that Bucky favours. Had bought hair masks and putty and the particular comb he'd seen in Bucky's bathroom that he can get so strangely particular about. And he'd placed all these items away in a designated place, but somehow they never seemed to end up back there. And Steve sometimes just lets them stray.

There is more laundry than ever before. The sheets constantly need to be changed, the hamper that Steve would ordinarily never allow to fill more than half way before washing, is almost overflowing. Steve is learning that keeping everything in a state of perfect order simply isn’t possible when you’re surrounded by so much _life_.

And it’s okay. He's making the mess with _Bucky._ He’s living that life _with Bucky_ _._ Steve likes the way it feels to run the comb through Bucky's soft wavy hair, getting longer on top, fluffier in the mornings. He likes that sometimes the sex is sticky, and dirty and unplanned. He likes that he knows the way Bucky likes his coffee, and can have it ready for him when he gets out of the shower, can get him to give Steve that soft, sleepy smile that means he’s happy. 

He's knocked out of his useless musings by Jarvis greeting them at the door. 'Colonel, Captain, Sergeant,' he says to the three of them. And Steve nods at the camera in the hallway, unlocking his door and letting them inside before Jarvis might start taking video.

'Oh, this is nice,' Cap says as he enters the room behind Bucky, Steve waiting for them to get inside before closing the door and locking it behind them. As if he was expecting Steve to live in some kind of shithole.

'It’s in Tony’s compound. Everything he builds is the best by default,’ Steve says distractedly, putting his shoes in the rack by the door, his cards in the bowl on the console.

‘I get that but… I guess I was expecting less… stuff.’

Bucky laughs as he follows Steve, putting his shoes and things away, (Cap is also quick to follow), ‘What stuff, this place is like a showroom.’

‘No this is… more stylish, less maudlin than I was expecting.’

Steve wants to take offense but Bucky is smiling at both of them like he thinks they’re hilarious. And Steve doesn’t want to ruin that.

Instead, Steve starts pulling out what he needs to make a large batch of pasta. Carbs will keep them happy and well fed for a while. Cap still looks like he could use the calories, he’s still looking a little too thin.

‘Do you want some help?’ Bucky asks.

'You could maybe get some water boiling for the pasta,' Steve says, knowing Bucky likes to be helpful, but hates to cook. 

'I can do that,' Cap interjects. 'I can help you with that, you sit,' he says to Bucky, sitting him down on the stool at the counter with a gentle push to his shoulder. And Bucky sinks happily into the direction.

'Thanks,' Steve says with a look between them, and doesn't panic when Cap seems to know where everything in his cupboards is, exactly where the saucepan is, and fills it with water and a good pinch of salt, to get it boiling on the stove top.

Cap has the water going and is looking lost, like he doesn't know if he should sit or stand, or help with something more.

'Steve, would you mind if I borrowed one of your razors and your trimmer to tackle Cap's beard?' 

'That would be fine,' Steve says, forces a smile, 'Why don't you two go do that while I get this cooking.'

'You sure?' Bucky asks, one eyebrow raised. Like he thinks Steve hasn't thought it through. Like he thinks Steve shouldn't be okay with his... whatever Bucky is to him, shaving another man's face using Steve's products, in Steve's bathroom... Like Steve isn't totally aware of how terrible an idea all of this is, and is doing it anyway. Because he wants to give Bucky everything.

'It's no problem.' And there must be something in his voice. Something softer than it should be. Something that belongs only to Bucky. Because Bucky smiles, he steps around the counter to reach up to Steve's lips and press a kiss there. His hand lingers against Steve's chest where he touches Steve, right over his heart.

'I'll be careful,' he says quietly. Seriously. And Steve leans in to kiss him again. Once, twice, before he steps away. Grips the front of Bucky's undershirt playfully and pulls him back in for one more, longer and deeper, before letting him go with a laugh.

'Be good,' Steve says as Bucky walks backwards, smiling at him with the kind of trust that Steve doesn't deserve.

'Always.'

And they both startle to remember Cap is there, watching them from where he's leaning against the counter. Dressed in gray sweats and white socks, arms crossed over his chest. The look on his face is bittersweet. He's watching them and smiling, but it's painful. Anybody could read that. Even if they hadn't been staring at that pain in the mirror for fifteen years.

'Come on,' Bucky says, gesturing to Steve with a tilt of his head, 'Let's get you cleaned up.'

Cap follows him away from the kitchen and into the bedroom. Steve can hear Bucky softly explaining what he’s going to do, ask if he would prefer to tidy the beard or go for a clean shave. He hears Cap asking after whether Steve has talked through the contract any more. Jesus, he didn't even know that's something they were talking about. And Bucky is saying no, but yes. That some things had been amended, that Bucky felt like things were different already. That Cap - who he calls Steve like this, when they're together and Steve isn't there - that he shouldn't be worried, Steve and he are so similar, Cap must be able to trust Steve... to know that he wouldn't hurt Bucky.

But Cap... Steve almost slices through his hand when he hears Cap say that's exactly _why_ he's so worried. And that worries Steve too. That maybe he and Cap are not so different. And maybe the capacity to hurt Bucky beyond repair is something Steve really needs to worry about.

He adds the vegetables to the pot, adds the tomatoes and the stock and a little more salt, and then puts the spaghetti into the boiling water. Stirs it. Closes the lid. Follows the process. Tunes out the conversation in the other room that isn't his to overhear.

Bucky has signed a monogamy clause in the contract, he knows that. And Bucky isn't... he has no intention of doing anything with Cap. Just as Cap, if he is Steve, if he does think like Steve, has no intention of doing anything that might hurt Bucky. That might drive a wedge between them that can't be closed again once Cap is gone. But Steve also isn't blind to the fact that Cap is a softer, sadder version of himself. One that Bucky has attached himself to, wants to protect. Wants to save. And that's a powerful feeling. Steve is all too aware - the attraction of wanting to take care of someone, give them what they need.

And the idea of them... together. The idea of what that would look like to Steve, would feel like to watch, to control, to get a different view of Bucky losing himself, being held down, being fucked into, but still by himself... not really someone else, just another version of himself... It is appealing to Steve in a way he can't ignore.

And it could be a way to give Cap a small taste of what he needs. Help him claw his way back to being himself again. Have him find the means to break free of this depression he's sunk into. Could Steve lend him some of his control - as a way to reach out to him and keep him safe - at least until they can bring back to him what's missing?

Steve drains the pasta once it's done. Turns the sauce down to a simmer, and heads into the bathroom to see if they need anything. Not to spy. Not to keep an eye on them. And when he gets there he finds Bucky sitting up on the vanity, Steve with a face full of shaving cream, and Bucky carefully gliding a razor down his cheeks.

Steve leans against the door frame and Bucky flicks his eyes over to him, smiling - no doubt - at the dish towel thrown over his shoulder - at the - probable - look of disapproval on Steve's face that he's sitting on the sink. Though the idea of what Steve could do to him while he's up there, what he has done, did do, (that nearly broke the cabinet). That's a memory Steve likes to keep at the surface.

'Hey, Daddy,' Bucky says absently as he turns back to Cap, and Cap splutters a cough, causing Bucky to pull the razor back quickly, 'Hey!'

'Sorry, I'm sorry,' he says looking between Steve and Bucky, 'That caught me a little by surprise.'

'Oh, you mean you haven't been talking about this with each other for weeks now?' Steve says. And he's not being a prick, he keeps his voice light. But there's an edge to it he can't help. And It has Cap narrowing his eyes at Steve. But Bucky brushes it off.

'Shush, you're just grumpy I get to do this and you don't. I know how much you secretly adore pampering people.' Bucky takes a towel and wipes the remaining cream from Cap's face and underneath it's smooth. He looks so much younger all of a sudden, so much prettier than Steve remembers ever being. Skin gleaming and eyelashes fanning across his cheeks as he blinks.

' _You_ , Buck, I adore pampering _you_.'

'But look at this beautiful face?' he says, gently cupping Cap by the chin and turning his face to Steve, a move Cap just allows him to make, 'Who wouldn't want to pamper this?' And as he says it he runs his hands up through Cap's hair, pushing his bangs away from his forehead, slicking them back with the residual water on Bucky's hands. 'Such a beautiful face.' And Bucky’s hands hold there for too long. Cap has turned his face up to Bucky and is just staring at him, like he would kill for him, die for him. Anything. Like Bucky is his whole world.

Steve has to clear his throat to get them to turn away from each other. 'Dinner's nearly ready.'

'Right!' Bucky says, too cheerfully, pulling his hand away from Cap's hair too quickly, 'Yes, dinner. Good.'

'Dinner.' Cap does not pull himself back. He tries to chase Bucky's hand, looking bereft at the loss of Bucky's touch. 'Great.'

'Why don't you come set the table Buck, I'll get us something to drink.'

'Sounds good,' Bucky says, jumping down from the vanity, 'It smells amazing, Steve,' and he leans up to kiss Steve on the cheek. Steve isn't used to this casual intimacy. But whatever has prompted it, he likes it. And he can't deny that it gives him a secret thrill to be marked in that way by Bucky, marked by his care and his affection. Steve gets the feeling this is the part of relationships that people learn to crave. That casual possession. The way another person can make you feel seen and valued, with a simple kiss to the cheek.

Steve looks at Cap and wonders how much of this he hates, and how much of it he enjoys. It must be difficult watching another version of yourself, with a younger, more innocent version of your lover, husband, partner, when it's being denied you.

'Maybe having you here is not a good idea,' Steve says and Cap's jaw clicks as it tightens.

'Nothing's going to happen. You two are together, doing whatever it is you two are doing. I won't come between that.'

'That's not what I mean,' Steve takes a step in, away from the door frame, steps into Cap's space. They are exactly the same height, neither of them in shoes. 'Maybe it's not fair to you, to be here like this, for us to be so in your face.'

'Don't make me go,' Cap says, so quietly, so low, chin dropping to his chest. 'Please don't make me go. I'll be good.'

'Hey, look at me,' Steve says, cupping his hand around Cap's shoulder, 'I'm not going to _make_ you do anything. If this is what you want, if this is helping, then you should stay. I want what's best for _you_ , believe it or not.'

'Believe it or not, I have a pretty good idea of how terrible you are at doing what's best for yourself, buddy.'

Steve isn't a hundred percent sure what that means to Cap, but it's a sobering thought. All the ways Steve has been prepared to hurt himself in the past, to put himself last... maybe that's the same in every timeline.

'It hurts, but it's a good hurt,’ Cap says, looking up at Steve, 'It's like seeing what might have been. What Bucky could have had, if not for me.'

'If not for Hydra.' Steve's voice is sharp. 'You didn't hurt him.'

'I didn't stop it,' Cap says, and Steve can see tears in his eyes, 'I didn't catch him. I never could.'

'We will. We'll find him,' Steve puts his other hand onto Cap's other shoulder, squeezes them, squeezes him, 'That kid out there is never gonna stop trying to find him, trying to save you, and whatever he wants I will give him, do you understand?'

Cap nods, 'Yeah, I think I do.'

'He will help you because you're me. And I don't know why or how, but he cares that much about me, about us. And he's a stubborn little shit-'

'Hey I can hear you, asshole!'

'Yeah well, it's no secret, kid,' Steve calls back, and Cap is laughing. shaking his head. 'Come on, let’s eat. You'll feel better after food.'

'Yeah, yeah.'

They eat.

It's... a differently charged atmosphere than what Steve was expecting, if he's honest, because Bucky spends most of the night looking at Steve with the most adorable confused puppy look Steve has ever seen. Intermittently smiling, like he's figured it out. Smiling at Steve. And Cap... is sad. But the oppression of it seems to have lifted, at least a little, and that's such a fucking relief to Steve he's surprised by the vehemence of his own reaction. Somehow, in this short time Cap has become an extension of Steve. A part of himself he had forgotten was there, wearing his heart so openly, letting everyone in, giving everything of himself and not keeping any locked away.

It seems like maybe it took him a lot of pain to get there, but Steve is jealous in a way. That he's turned that pain outward, in part, and hasn't let it consume him.

Hasn't let it kill him.

Yet.

They do need to find his Bucky. Having Cap here, in Steve's apartment, staring at Bucky with a wistful longing, but also an understanding. Steve can see it's not what Cap wants, it’s a picture, a replica, an imperfect copy. Steve's Bucky will never have been through what Cap's Bucky has been through (and thank fucking god. Steve will do everything in his power and more to keep that kind of fate from his Bucky) but what they've been through together has shaped them. And this Bucky, this young, naive, joyful, flirty, gorgeous Bucky, is not the love of Cap's life.

But he's the embodiment of the memory of him.

Dinner goes on like that for a while, Bucky smiling and wondering at Steve, Cap staring and wondering at Bucky, Steve staring at his food and hoping they can end the night happily. With no words and no revelations, and just a handshake goodbye. (Steve is not thinking about Cap's hands, about how they're just as big as his own, about how those long fingers would look around his baby's throat, around his cock, inside his hole. He isn't thinking about that while Cap wipes his fingers around his bowl and sucks off the last of the sauce, how that should be revolting and is somehow ridiculously hot. How he shouldn't be thinking that about _himself_ , for fucks sake).

And of course it's a false hope. Cap is still looking morose enough after he's eaten four helpings of pasta that Bucky has a hand around his hand, is dragging him to the couch, is pulling up some inane baking show (Steve will never tell him how much he loves it, no force can make him) and pushing the poor man down into the cushions by his shoulders, is burrowing himself in next to him and shushing him, because it's starting - which makes Cap smile, an actual real smile, and that's too rare a thing for either of them to ignore, so Steve sits himself in the armchair to watch them. Cap is careful not to touch Bucky, Steve can see him move his knee to keep from brushing against Bucky's thighs, barely contained in his black cargo pants, looking too beautiful on him to have just been thrown on haphazardly after they'd run from the jet to the lockers and up to the briefing room. How they'd sat through hours of watching Cap get more and more heartbroken at the news that they hadn't found his Bucky. That he might have been captured by Hydra.

Steve shakes the thought from his mind. There's nothing they can do about it now, he has to focus on what he can control. The way Cap is watching Bucky watch the television, the way that Bucky is pretending not to notice him do so. Those are things that are perhaps within Steve’s control to change.

Maybe he needs to think this through more carefully. Is there a way he could put them through this and survive? What is it Cap wants? What does Bucky want?

Bucky wants to keep Cap safe, and whole, and not sinking in on himself. Cap wants his Bucky back, but he needs a distraction. He needs comfort. He needs affection. He’s craving it after so long alone, after every touch being to hurt, to maim, for so long.

Steve wants to see Bucky get taken apart, get lifted to that place where he can let go of everything, give himself over, get stripped bare. Made whole again.

He can give them all that... can't he? Can he do it and keep it contained? Can he do it and not ruin anything? He looks up from where he's been staring at the floor and finds Bucky watching him. He's smiling but it's not like before. It's not adorable. It's wicked. It's like he's been reading Steve's thoughts, and he's looking at Steve with half lidded eyes, with his bottom lip between his teeth, the corner of his mouth tilted up in a smirk and Steve wants to take all that heat and harness it, wants to focus it, wants to hold it down and turn it on itself.

And Bucky can absolutely tell.

Bucky spares a glance at Cap, who has somehow fallen asleep with his head back against the couch, turned in towards Bucky subconsciously. Looking more peaceful than they've seen him in two weeks. Probably in a coma from all of the carbs he just ingested. And Bucky, carefully, quietly, extricates himself from the couch and slides over to where Steve is sitting, climbs into his lap and straddles him. Loops his arms around the back of Steve's neck in that way he loves. They both love.

'You look like you're planning something,' Bucky says in a whisper, and Steve is constantly surprised by how much just does not get by him, 'Will you tell me about it?'

'I'm not sure it's a good idea.'

'You know you're allowed to run these ideas by me.' Bucky cards his fingers up into the nape of Steve's neck and Steve wants to close his eyes and fall into it, it feels so good. 'You don't have to take it all on by yourself.'

How does he do that? See Steve like that? Recognise the heart of so many of Steve’s hang ups. Always trying to prove he can do it by himself. Rely on no one. And it's so fucking lonely.

'I could. I guess I could,' Steve lifts his arms to grip Bucky by the wrists and pull his hands back down into his lap, 'I just... don't want to fuck this up.'

'Fuck what up? You and me?'

'Yeah. You and me, what this is... what we're doing. And Cap, he... doesn't deserve to get any more hurt, I don't want to make it worse for him. Make him feel it more.'

Bucky is looking at him, head tilted, eyes narrowed in that calculating way he has. 'What if you tell me what you're thinking and I can tell you how I feel about it, and then we can make a better decision about whether it's gonna fuck this up.'

Steve doesn't really need time to think about that. He knows what Bucky is asking for. And he trusts that Bucky knows what he wants. 'I was thinking... I was thinking that there's not a lot of ways I know how to comfort someone. But one of the ways I do know, might help you both right now.'

'And you.'

'And me what?'

'And help you too. I see the way you look at him. Like he could be you but for the random grace of our universe.' Bucky threads their fingers together. 'That you're jealous of how open he is, but you're afraid for him.'

Jesus, how does he cut him to the quick like this? Every time? 'I don't... I am afraid for him. I know what we're capable of, he and I, and if what he's feeling is... Is what I think he's feeling, he could use some help.'

'And you could help him.'

_'We_ could help him, Buck. I think. But that's up to you too. And him.'

Bucky tilts his head even further to level Steve with his gaze, 'I trust you,' he says. So easily, like the words are just there, 'I want to try to help him.'

Steve looks back and tries to find a lie, or a hesitation, but there is none to be had. 'Do you want him like that?' Steve asks, afraid of the answer.

'Yes and no.'

Steve raises his eyebrow.

'Yes because he's you,' Bucky says, 'It's so hard to separate you in my head sometimes, the way he speaks or the expressions he pulls, but also he's so different from you... a side of you that I haven't gotten to see yet. A side that I'd like to see,' Bucky presses him with a look as he says that, Steve is sure he will be giving it all up to him one day soon. Bucky has him wrapped around his finger, he gets that now, 'I mostly want to wrap him up in a blanket and keep him safe, I don't necessarily want him like I want you.'

Steve is so fucking relieved to hear that for some reason. A tension he's been carrying for weeks now suddenly snaps loose at the way Bucky just lays his heart out like that.

'But I do...' Bucky's words fade as he looks down, dodges Steve's eyes.

'Use your words baby,' Steve says, cooing a little, because he loves to tease him, even just a little.

And Bucky rewards him with a truly sardonic expression. 'Steve.'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just tell me. You can always tell me, you know that.'

'I do, I do... It's not him so much as the way you look at both of us? When we're together? Like you're thinking... Like you’re thinking about what that might look like, what it might feel like, and you like it.'

Steve should have known Bucky would pick up on that. 'You noticed that huh?'

'I think he does too, to be honest.'

'Great,' Steve says.

'I think he likes it though...' Bucky says, biting that damn lip again, 'I think he thinks about it the same way you do.'

And they both jump at the deep gentle, 'I do,' that Cap says from behind them.

Bucky moves one leg off from around Steve's waist to sit half on his lap and half next to him on the armchair, facing Cap.

'You do?' Steve asks, because Cap needs to be okay with this too. And if this is something he's already been thinking about...

'I do,' Cap says again, smiling his sad half smile... 'Knowing the things you do differently and what you could show me...'

And god, the idea of taking Cap through the steps of a scene, of teaching him all the ways to take Bucky apart the way only Steve knows how. A way that even after all the years together that Cap and his Bucky have had, Cap might still have something to learn from Steve... It has him so hard...

'Daddy could show you so much,' Bucky says, breathless, squeezing Steve's thigh with his hand hard enough to leave a mark, he's wound so tight already, 'Couldn't you, Daddy?'

And Jesus, Fuck. Bucky knows exactly what he's doing, Steve can tell. And maybe that makes it worse, makes him love it more, but oh god, he can feel it, the way that word sounds in Bucky's mouth, the way he's squirming already, only half on his lap, the way Cap's eyes have blown, that he's moved closer to them, sliding down the couch to get closer to the armchair... Steve is coming undone already and they haven't even started.

  
  


It's enough to make Steve's mind up. It's all he needs to push through that wall. Whatever decision he makes now could have consequences, but all of them are on the same page. All of them understand what this is about, where it's going. And Steve knows this could change things between him and Bucky but... and it feels so alien to think so... he _trusts_ Bucky. Trusts that Bucky understands what they're getting into. Trusts that he knows his own limits. Trusts that he has all the emotional intuition to help Steve pull this off. He can do this for Bucky. With Bucky. Because of Bucky.

He looks at Bucky, face higher than his now that he's still on Steve's knee, he looks up into his blue-gray eyes, the thin ring of stormy iris around that blown pupil, the complete lack of reservation in his expression, so open, so honest, Steve reaches up a hand and cards it through Bucky's hair, strokes a thumb across his cheek, down to his lips, pulls at them gently as he presses down into the plump, pink flesh there. And then he leans up into a kiss; soft, chaste, just to touch his lips to Bucky's and press their foreheads together. He pulls back far enough to look at Bucky. 'You sure?'

And Bucky gives him a single answering nod, 'I'm sure, Steve.'

It's all Steve needs to hear.

'You want me to show Cap how I treat my sweet boy?'

'I do, Daddy.'

'What should we show him, baby, how you like to get down on your knees for me?'

'Yes, Daddy,' Bucky keeps his eyes on Steve but they can both see Cap in their periphery, can both see that he's moved as close to the end of the couch as he can get without climbing over the arm of it.

'But let's not leave him out sweetheart, we don't want him to get lonely,' Steve says, keeping the register of his voice deep and smooth, loving the way it makes Bucky shiver, 'Cap why don't you come over here and help me get Bucky's shirt off?'

And Cap is up and off the couch faster than Steve's ever seen him move. He stands behind where Bucky kneels at Steve's feet and Bucky lifts his arms for Cap, Cap only has to reach down, stroking his hands down Bucky's arms as he does, over the material of his ribbed undershirt, and down to his waist, gripping the hem and sliding it slowly off Bucky's body, over his head and arms, folding it and placing it carefully on the couch (getting a smirk from Bucky as he does).

'And can you take his arms for me, Cap, can you pin them behind his back?' Steve looks at Cap and Cap swallows, 'He likes it, don't you, baby? Would you like Cap to hold your arms like that?'

'Yeah, Daddy, yes, please, Cap,' he says, turning his face back to Cap, who's dropped to kneel down behind Bucky, 'I like it.'

'Jesus,' Cap says under his breath, 'Okay, Buck.' And he does as asked, takes Bucky's hands from where they've fallen to his sides and pulls them around, to hold him at the wrists behind his back.

'Doesn't he look pretty like that, Cap?'

'Beautiful,' Cap says, staring down into Bucky's face, 'So beautiful.' And Bucky is beaming under the praise, falling into it.

With Bucky leaning back into Cap, Steve stands up from his seat and towers over Bucky, 'Cap, I need you to run your fingers up into his hair for me, all that gorgeous hair' - Cap does it, sides his fingers up into the wave of Bucky's short hair - 'and grip it tight for me, that's it, Cap, hold his head nice and still.' Steve cups a hand under Bucky's chin and holds it gently. 'What could we show Cap like this, baby. Would you like me to fuck your face?’ Steve talks just to see Bucky get lost in his voice, ‘I could fill your mouth with my cock, push it so deep down your throat you can't breathe, can't swallow, can't do anything but feel me? Should I come on your pretty face, mark you up, cover you in it, baby? Hmm? Should we do that? Or maybe we should try something different today? Maybe we should do things a little bit differently today.'

Bucky is watching Steve, wide eyed, Cap is caught between watching Steve and watching Bucky, one hand gripping his hair and the other holding his wrists behind his back.

'Stand up, Cap, bring Bucky with you,' Steve says, turning on his heel and heading for the bedroom. 'Follow me.'

And Cap does. He stands slowly, pulling Bucky with him carefully, and follows Steve into the bedroom.

'We use safe-words when we play, Cap,' Steve says as Cap enters behind Steve, maneuvering Bucky in front of him, 'Bucky what's your safe word?'

'Alpine.'

'And mine is Brooklyn. Do you have a safeword, Cap?'

Cap shakes his head.

'Can you think of a word that you could say that will mean you want us to stop. You want us to stop everything.'

'I don't, I wouldn't.'

'Cap, it's important for Bucky and I to know you have a word to use if you need to be suddenly pulled out of what we're doing, for whatever reason, no judgement, no questions. That keeps us all safe, okay?'

And Cap nods slowly, 'Then my safe-word would be Sarah.'

Steve has to close his eyes to that. To what that means to him. And to Cap too. But it will definitely work as a safe word. Steve will stop as soon as he hears it. 'We also use a colour system, like traffic lights, if I check in with you and everything is good you say green. If you're not sure about it, or at any time you want me to slow down, you say Orange. And if there's something you want me to stop doing, something you don't like, you say Red.'

'Right,' Cap says quietly, nodding, 'That makes sense.'

'I have this alarm for Bucky, if we ever play and he can't use his hands to tap out, or his voice to use his safeword, then he can press this button and we stop.' Steve holds the alarm out to Cap so he can see it for himself, the small cylinder with a button on the end that Bucky can press easily with his thumb.

'This all seems so... responsible...' Cap says, looking down at the alarm and back at Bucky.

'I take Bucky's comfort and safety very seriously Cap. And when you're involved with what we're doing, you will do the same.'

'Of course-'

'For yourself, and me too.' Steve finishes with. And Cap is looking back at him, wide eyed and nodding.

'I will, yes. I understand.'

'You understand, Sir,' Steve corrects him. Because this will never work, unless Steve is entirely in charge.

'Yes, Sir.' Cap gives him a firmer nod. 'Understood' - and he pauses to lick his lips, to look at Steve and look at Bucky, standing between them, Cap still holding Bucky by the wrists behind his back - 'Sir.'

And it thrills Steve to hear it, but the look on Bucky's face thrills him more, the way he closes his eyes and opens his mouth, catches his breath, the way he snaps his focus back to Steve and bites his lip. Such a good boy.

'Good,' Steve says, keeping his tone heavy, 'I want you to turn Bucky around for me, so he's facing you,' Steve says, 'I'm going to tie his arms back like this, I'm going to use this rope,' Steve grabs one length of red shibari rope down from his closet, and comes back to Bucky and Cap, 'Bucky cross your arms over each other and hold onto your elbows for me, baby, that's my good boy, and Cap, I'm going to put a nice easy box tie around just above the wrists here, not cutting off any circulation,' Cap nods, watching Steve as he loops the rope around Bucky's forearms where they sit against each other creating a column tie above the wrists - nice and loose, 'Then we do a single loop around the chest to secure the arms to his sides,' Bucky keeps still as Steve winds the rope twice around Bucky's chest, pinning his arms to his sides, 'Careful to avoid any pressure points, we want a nice firm spot that won't cause pain,' and Cap is watching, swallowing, as Steve binds Bucky, restrains him, 'Then we fasten our column tie to the loop here,' and Steve fastens the column tie to the rope above and ties it off, leaving the excess rope as a leash to pull Bucky backwards. 'Then our baby is nice and secure, all safe, aren't you, baby?'

'Always safe with you, Daddy,' Bucky says, leaning back into Steve where he has pulled Bucky against him with the rope, looking back up at him over his shoulder and then turning to Cap, 'He's going to take such good care of us, Cap.'

And Steve has to breathe through his reaction to those words, has to count to five not to spin Bucky around and pull him closer. Cap looks like he's having much the same problem, his pupils blown even wider, reaching out a hand as if to touch Bucky, but hesitating.

'You can touch him,' Steve says to Cap, 'You can put your hands on him, Son,' and Cap closes his eyes, Steve doesn't reprimand him for that, doesn't call him out, he lets Cap close the distance and place his fingers gently to Bucky's chest, run then down to his stomach. 'Take his pants off, Cap, and then his underwear, we're going to get him ready.'

Cap nods and Steve lets him, lets him be non-verbal because this will be a lot already, and he knows Cap is not good like Bucky, won't like to be chastised, won't like to be corrected. Cap undoes the fly on Bucky's cargo pants and pulls them down to his knees, taking them off one leg at a time, Bucky lifting his feet dutifully as Cap touches him. He folds the pants and places them on the chair in the corner, looks to Steve for his next instruction, and Steve stands behind Bucky, holding the rope, 'Now his underwear, too,' he directs Cap, who sinks down to his knees to slide Bucky's underwear down his thighs.

It's such a beautiful image, Cap on his knees, looking up at Bucky, looking up at Steve, freeing Bucky's hard cock so that it bounces back up, leaking already. And Steve thinks he's going to need the cock ring if he wants to keep Bucky from coming.

'On your feet, Cap,' Steve says, handing him the rope when he stands, 'You wait here with Cap, baby,' he says to Bucky, and lets go of the rope to get the cock ring from its box, coming back to kneel at Bucky's feet, 'I'm going to put the ring on you Buck, so we can play and you won't come. You won't come will you, baby?'

'No, Daddy,' Bucky says, shaking his head, 'I won't.'

'That's my good boy,' Steve says as he loops the ring around his balls and around the base of his hard cock, using a little of the silicone lube to slide it in place. He runs his hands up and down Bucky's beautiful thighs, leans in to kiss him on the hip, to suck a bruise there. And Bucky lets his head fall back onto Cap's shoulder, turns his face into Cap's neck. Cap closes his eyes again to lean down and touch his forehead to Bucky's. They look beautiful.

Steve stands and crowds Bucky into Cap, presses his body into Bucky's and reaches his face down to catch Bucky in a kiss, messy and open mouthed, pushing him further and further into Cap's space as the kiss intensifies. And then he lets go, pulls back to grab Bucky by the chin and turn his head back up to Cap, turn his face up to Cap’s face, 'Be a good boy for Cap too, baby,' Steve says.

And Steve watches Cap's eyes close softly, watches Bucky smile, reach up with his mouth to kiss Cap gently, watches their lips brush tentatively at first and then watches as Cap just falls into Bucky's kiss, dropping the rope and reaching his hands around Bucky's stomach to pull him closer. Bucky opens his mouth and lets Cap in, lets Cap press with his tongue, glide it along Bucky's lip and then follow it with his mouth, closing his lips around Bucky's bottom lip to suck on it, then pull back and open his eyes, look down at Bucky like he can't believe this is happening. And Bucky just smiles back at him. Steve is happy to see Cap’s face free of the pain and sadness that's been his mask all night.

Steve strokes a hand up Bucky's chest, up and up to the back of his neck, cards his hands up through Bucky's hair and grips it tight, pulls Bucky away from Cap and turns him around to get access to the rope leash at his back, tightens his other hand around it. And he pulls Bucky back to the bed like that, Cap watching him go.

'On the bed here, baby,' Steve says, moving to the side, turning Bucky and pulling him down gently to sit up on the bed, Bucky lets Steve move him with no reluctance. 'You wait here and watch, baby, I'm going to get Cap ready.' And Cap's eyebrows are raised high, but Steve takes two purposeful steps towards him and he makes no move to back away, so Steve steps around him, closing in behind him and leans down to whisper in his ear, 'You can stop me at anytime.'

'No, Sir, I want this, I want it.'

'Good boy, I know you do, you want it just as bad as Bucky does, don't you?'

And Cap is nodding, Bucky is watching them - sitting up carefully to keep his balance on the bed with his hands tied behind him, but he's rocking his hips on the mattress, just enough that the movement is noticeable.

'I'm going to take these clothes off you now, okay?'

'Okay,' Cap replies, and Steve pulls Cap's sweater up and over his head, slides his sweatpants down his body, removes his socks one foot at a time, and places everything neatly on the chair beside Bucky's clothes.

Steve gently pulls Cap’s underwear down over his huge, painfully hard cock, just the same as Steve's, uncut, thick and long, too big for Bucky to take both of them at once, and Steve was anticipating that, had planned around it, checks that off in his mind. It springs back up and hits Cap's stomach, hard and leaking precome onto the sharp definition of the muscles there. 

(It's comforting actually, to look at Cap's body and see his own reflected at him, to see the serum in someone else, knowing he's not alone. That he isn't the only one to know what this feels like.)

He stalks around Cap, circles him, looks him up and down, and Cap follows him with his eyes, but makes no attempt to move. Steve stands in front of him and steps in but keeps his hands to his sides. He leans forward to let his nose stroke across Cap's cheekbone, and he can hear Cap's shudder, feel him shaking, so he holds that, their lips a hair's breadth from touching. And when Cap starts to lean into Steve he snaps his teeth around Cap's bottom lip, takes advantage of the way he opens his mouth in a gasp to close his mouth over Cap's, kissing him hard, biting, getting a fist into Cap's hair and yanking it to bare his throat to Steve, and he sinks his teeth into the pulse point in his neck, closes his lips over it and sucks a mark there.

'You're mine now too, sweetheart,' Steve says to Cap, lips to his ear, hand still holding his head back, 'Aren't you.'

'Yes, Sir,' Cap says, and Steve takes pleasure in how breathless he sounds.

'So good for me, both my boys, so good,' he says, turning to Bucky, who has one foot on the floor, giving him enough purchase to rock himself harder into the bed, though he can get the friction he wants, just rolls his hips like he needs to be touched. 'Oh, Cap, look how desperate he is for us, look how bad he wants you to touch him.' Steve, still with his hands in Cap's hair, wraps his other hand around Cap's upper arm and squeezes, hard enough that it might leave a bruise (though not for long) and pulls him forward, unresistant, 'Do you want to touch him too, baby?' Steve says, standing behind Cap now and pushing him forward, 'Do you want to put your mouth on him?'

'God,' Cap says, breathes, 'Fuck yes.'

'On your knees, Son,' Steve pushes him down to knees in front of Bucky, who whimpers at the word, 'You're going to take him with your mouth, and my baby's going to use you to feel good, would you like that, Cap?'

Cap is nodding, staring at Bucky's cock, so hard and red, caged by the rings.

'He's going to fuck himself into your tight, wet mouth, but he's not going to come, and I'm going to sit back here' - Steve lets go of Cap to climb onto the bed and slide in behind Bucky, open his legs and frame Bucky with them, 'And I'm going to open him up with my fingers, get his pretty hole all nice and loose.'

Bucky tips his head back against Steve, Steve uses his hands to make sure Bucky's arms aren't being crushed against Steve's chest. He lifts Bucky to sit up in his lap, just enough to give him room to get his fingers inside him, and then slides them closer to the end of the bed so that Cap can reach them to run his hands up Bucky's thighs. Bucky sighs into the touch.

Steve gets an arm out from behind Bucky and reaches it around to get a hand on Bucky's cock, gently slips his hand up the shaft, to brush his thumb over the tip, through the slit and then around the tip again with the moisture collected there, he lifts that thumb back to Bucky's mouth and places it against Bucky's bottom lip, leaving a sticky trail there before kissing him, licking over the spot to taste him. He pulls back to ask, 'You want Cap to touch you now, Buck?'

'Please, yes Daddy.'

'You better ask him, baby.'

'Cap please suck me, please put your mouth on me, touch me please, Cap.'

Cap can't reply, he's pushing up to his feet, to get his lips to Bucky's lips, 'Fuck, yes, Buck, I will, I will,' and his hands come up from Bucky's thighs to reach behind Steve's head, he reaches his mouth up to kiss Steve, fast and hard, before he sinks back to knees and swallows Bucky down.

Bucky thrusts up into Cap's mouth and Cap chokes, but he breathes through his nose and adjusts to the movement, ready for it when Bucky pulls back and then thrusts in again. Bucky's head is resting on Steve's shoulder, his back is arched, such a beautiful clean line, his throat is bared for Steve to sink his teeth into.

Steve reaches for the lube that’s been thrown onto the bed, squeezes it out of the tube and onto his fingers and then gets his fingers under Bucky's ass, space made easier to reach by the way Bucky is fucking up into Cap's mouth.

'Cap, get your hands under his thighs, push them up for me.' Cap does it, gets his hands under Bucky's thighs and pushes them up and back, spreading his legs and giving Steve better purchase to slide his finger into his hole, 'That's right, that's good, Cap.' Steve is pumping his finger onto Bucky's hole and Bucky is grinding down onto it, thrusting up into Cap's mouth, 'Such pretty lips, Cap, look so good around my baby's cock.'

Cap closes his eyes to the words, he's breathing carefully through his nose, but his eyes are watering, his throat is full. And Steve knows that he could take more, but he doesn't want to push him. He puts one hand on Bucky's hip, and Bucky slows his thrusts, gives Cap a chance to chase him with his mouth, follows him and sucks down onto the full length of Bucky, pulls back and licks up the side of his cock with his tongue.

'He likes that, Cap. So good.' 

And Cap groans as he swallows Bucky back down again, Steve sliding a second finger in next to the first. He scissors and curls his fingers to stretch Bucky, teasing against his prostate but not lingering there, he doesn't want to give him any relief. And Bucky is chasing Steve with his lips, so Steve gives him what he wants, leans down to kiss him as he stretches him. Messy and open mouthed, tongues licking against each other, Bucky gasping breaths between kisses as Cap sucks against Bucky's shallow thrusting.

He can feel Bucky's movements get more and more erratic, knows he must be getting close, slides a third finger in to pump in and out of his slicked up hole, and then pulls back from kissing him and pulls his hips down. The movement pulls Bucky’s cock free from Cap's mouth, and Cap looks lost for a moment, looks up at Steve with wide, unfocussed eyes.

'On your feet, Cap,' Steve says, and Cap stands, 'I'm going to fuck him now, you take his weight for me,' and he pushes Bucky forward, forcing Cap to catch him around the biceps. He gets his hands around to Bucky's thighs and spreads them further apart. Steve opens his pants, pulling them down just far enough that he can get his cock into Bucky, knowing how much Bucky loves the feel of the material on his thighs, on his balls, knowing it's just shy of painful. He slides his slick hands over his erection and gets it lubed up, then lines the tip up against Bucky's hole as best he can, Bucky almost bent in half, then he moves his palms back to Bucky's hips and he slams himself up into Bucky.

Bucky cries out as he crashes into Cap, and Cap adjusts his hold on Bucky's biceps to be more secure, letting Bucky's weight fall onto his chest. Cap is murmuring soft praise into Bucky's ear, telling him how beautiful he is, how good he tastes, and Steve pulls out slowly, dragging his cock through Bucky's sensitive rim, all the way to the tip and then with careful force, punches his cock back into Bucky, snapping his hips up and then dragging back out again.

Bucky is making his sweet little noises, trying to keep quiet for whatever reason he does, and Steve loves that he bites down on those moans, chokes back those gasps, it only makes him sound more desperate, like he doesn't want Steve to know how lost he is, but Steve knows.

'You hear those sweet sweet noises, Cap, you hear our baby start to fall apart?' Steve pulls out and snaps back up to fuck as far and deep as he can go, Bucky bouncing on his cock, even as Cap holds him. 'Don't you come yet, sweetheart, you wait like a good boy. You can wait can't you, Bucky?'

'Yeah, yeah, yes Daddy,' Bucky fights for enough air to speak between gasps, 'I can be so good.'

'I know you can sweet boy, I know,' Steve shortens his thrusts, starts to rock into Bucky, rolls his hips a little to rub around Bucky's stretched rim, then he runs his hands up Bucky's back up his bound arms, across the ropes that haven't tightened, aren't cutting off any blood supply, and then around to the front of his chest. Steve uses all his strength to balance and pull Bucky back against himself and leans back, uses his core to keep stable and take all of Bucky's weight.

His cock slides out a little with the change of angle and Bucky's back arches into Steve, his hips chasing the pressure, trying to grind down on it, and Cap follows Bucky, his hands still at Bucky's arms.

'Cap, why don't we see if we can stretch him a little wider, look how hungry that pretty hole is for more,' and Cap looks down at Bucky's hole where Steve is buried, 'Why don't you slide a finger in there, tease him a little,' and Cap wastes no time to do as he's asked. He runs his own hand down from Bucky's bicep, down his chest, over his stomach, through his pubic hair, down over his balls, his taint, and he runs that finger around the stretched ring of muscle, letting it get slick and then sliding it in.

Bucky cries out as Cap curls his finger and stretches him more and Cap leans down to catch his mouth, pushing into a fierce kiss, adding his weight to Bucky's for Steve to hold and Steve never wavers. He pulls back a little and then thrusts up into Bucky, who breaks his kiss as his body bucks, his head hitting back into Steve's shoulder, and Steve sees Cap watching him, his eyes hooded, and manages to hold them up as Cap throws himself at Steve, crashing their mouths together, licking and biting into Steve's mouth, so much more forceful than Bucky's kisses ever are, frantic and desperate. And the feel of Cap’s finger against Steve’s cock, inside Bucky's tight wet heat, the slide of a second finger stroking against his skin, Bucky turning his head to rest his forehead against Steve's neck, to kiss the skin there as Cap attacks Steve’s mouth, it's all Steve can take, he's coming, flooding Bucky's hole with come. Groaning into Cap's open mouth.

And then he's pulling back, he's pulling out. 'Hold my baby for me, Cap,' he says as he lets Cap put his arms around Bucky to hold him up as Bucky takes short sharp breaths. As quickly as he can, he frees Bucky's arms from their ropes and rubs up and down them to get the circulation flowing again, then he slides back from behind Bucky and lets Cap gently place him on the bed. 'Keep his arms locked up behind his head,' he says to Cap and Cap does, Bucky loose and pliant, letting Cap maneuver him. 

Steve slides himself off the bed and walks around to stand next to Cap, leaning over him to stroke Bucky's face as Cap pins his hands over his head.

'Want me to take your ring off now, baby?' he asks Bucky, 'Want to come with Cap inside you?' Steve hears Cap’s whispered, 'Oh fuck,' at the same time as Bucky nods his head, begs ‘Yes, yes, yes,’ for Cap to fuck him. Steve puts a palm to Cap's naked back and runs it up his smooth golden skin, up his broad shoulders and long neck, into his hair and then yanks his head back sharply. 'You keep his legs nice and streched, you hold down on those gorgeous thighs, Son, and you fuck him hard, can you do that for me?'

'I can, I can.'

'You want to, don't you Cap? To fill him up?'

'I want, I want-'

'I know what you want, sweetheart, I'm going to give it to you. And you're going to fuck Bucky while I fuck you, aren't you, pretty boy?'

Cap makes a sound like he's been punched but he's nodding his head. Bucky is watching them with wide eyes, trapped beneath Cap - Steve's weight pressing down on both of them, and Steve reaches his hand between Cap and Bucky to carefully, so carefully, slide the cock ring free.

'What's your colour, Cap?'

'Green.'

'Bucky, baby, you want me to fuck Cap while he fucks you?'

'Steve, fuck. _Yes_ , Daddy. I want that.'

'Good boys, my good boys,' Steve says as he takes his wet, come covered hands and slides them down the crack of Cap's ass. He moves around to stand behind Cap, then places his hands at the back of Cap’s thighs, lifts him up and pushes him up onto the bed, spreading his thighs and reaching around him to line Cap’s cock up with Bucky's ass.

'Jesus,' Cap says as the air is knocked out of him, but he holds himself up, doesn't fall into Bucky. Cap has one hand around Bucky's wrists over his head, and one on the bed. Bucky spreads his legs as far wide as they will go, almost completely split, and Cap shifts his knees to fit against them.

'Hands on his thighs now, Cap, Bucky's a good boy, he won't move.' Cap runs his hands down Bucky's body to rest them on his thighs. Steve reaches around to slick up his hand so he can re-lubricate his cock. He uses his fingers to stretch Cap and curls his finger in to hit his prostate just as Cap slides his cock into Bucky.

Cap takes a heavy breath as he sinks into Bucky, slides out slowly to chase Steve’s finger. Cap controls his hips to sink back into Bucky and as he does, Steve adds another finger - it’s all the prep he'll give Cap. He wants to rip into him, wants him to feel it. Needs to be hard and fast for Cap to know who owns him.

'Fuck, you feel so good,' Cap says to Bucky, 'So wet,' and Steve remembers well, how good it feels to fuck Bucky when he's full of come. He gets his hands around Cap's little waist and kisses his shoulder, up his neck, Cap lets his head fall back, bares his throat again to Steve and that's all Steve needs, he bites down hard on the skin as he shoves his cock into Cap, who cries out, slamming forward into Bucky and Bucky can’t hold on any longer. He comes, painting up Cap's chest with white hot stripes, and Cap fucks him through it as Steve fucks into Cap.

Bucky is beyond it now, he's so blissed out his head is rolled back, his back is arching, his hips are fucking up into Cap as much as they can with his legs spread so wide, Cap holding his thighs down. And Steve only has to pull back and slam into Cap once, twice, three more times and Cap is crying out and following Bucky. Steve pulls out and flips Cap around, slams him back into the bed next to Bucky and then fucks back into him, hands grabbing at Cap's hands to force them over his head.

'You were so good, Cap, so good, you're so fucking tight. I'm gonna mark you up, you're gonna be all covered in our come, sweetheart, you ready?'

And Cap is nodding, Steve lets go of him to stand up and hold him by the hips. Bucky has curled over and is reaching for him, stroking his hands through Cap's hair and kissing him. And Steve uses more strength than he would ever dare use to fuck Bucky, to punch into Cap, to crash their bodies together and then pulls out to come all over his chest, up his chin, over his lips. Bucky licking them as he kisses him so gently, so softly. And Steve crawls up the bed to cradle Bucky from behind, to wrap his arms around him and nestle him between Cap and Steve. And he holds and shushes him, whispers sweet words to both of them, cards his hands through hair, over skin, down thighs.

After enough time has passed for them to calm down, he cleans them with warm cloths from the bathroom, he gets water and cookies and makes them sit up to eat and drink, pulls the cover off the bed and gets them under some blankets from the closet. 

And just as he's about to crawl in next to Bucky he hears it. In the lounge. He has his gun from the bureau trained on him before he's made it to the doorway.

A shadow of a man. A ghost. Steve can barely hear him even now.

All he can really see of him are his eyes. lined in black smudge, hiding his face. But nothing could hide that blue-grey steel from Steve.

This shadow, this ghost…

It's Bucky.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay - come scream at me - give me everything you've got.
> 
> I want to hear it all.
> 
> Come find me [here](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, I love to see you.
> 
> My inbox is open. I'll reply to every comment below. I'm ready for it.
> 
> Also - next week, last chapter. Brace yourselves ❤️❤️❤️


	7. The soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Jarvis!’ Steve shouts. 
> 
> ‘Sir, Colonel, how may I assist you,’ the speakers from the ceiling are pumping out Jarvis' voice, at the same time as Cap is jumping up from the bed and Bucky is shaking himself awake. 
> 
> ‘Tell me why the _fuck_ you aren't sounding the alarm!’ Steve shouts again, his gun trained on the ghost, the Winter Soldier, if that’s who this is. It’s not Bucky. It can’t be Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, folks, you've reached the end.
> 
> This is the final chapter.
> 
> I have nothing to say except thank you. For everything.
> 
> And enjoy...

‘Jarvis!’ Steve shouts. 

‘Sir, Colonel, how may I assist you,’ the speakers from the ceiling are pumping out Jarvis' voice, at the same time as Cap is jumping up from the bed and Bucky is shaking himself awake. 

‘Tell me why the _fuck_ you aren't sounding the alarm!’ Steve shouts again, his gun trained on the ghost, the Winter Soldier, if that’s who this is. It’s not Bucky. It can’t be Bucky.

‘Steve, no,’ Cap is saying. He’s slowly taking steps toward Steve and Steve can’t have that. 

He keeps the gun steady and takes the safety off, places his finger in the trigger. 

But Cap doesn’t stop, he just starts chanting, ‘No, no, no.’

‘Sergeant Barnes has full access to the compound, Colonel Rogers, and indeed to your apartment. What kind of alarm do you believe I should be sounding?’

Steve doesn’t have time to unpack that, he has Cap closing in on him from behind and he has the ghost in front of him, too close to Bucky, too easily able - if the intel from Scott and Cap can be believed, if the serum the Winter Soldier has is anything like what Steve and Cap have been given - to sprint to Bucky’s position and take him hostage. 

‘Steve no, put the gun down, he’s not a threat.’ Cap is trying to reason with him, but Steve knows, all too well, that Cap is compromised. Where his Bucky is concerned, nothing he says or does can be trusted.

‘Stand down, Son,’ Steve says, keeping his tone calm, even, ‘We don’t know that, he could be Hydra, he could be the enemy.’

‘Don’t hurt him,’ Cap’s voice breaks, but he stops his slow creep forward. 

‘Steve, put the gun down,’ Bucky says, his voice soft, curling around Steve’s stomach like smoke, ‘It’s me, can’t you see, he’s me.’

‘That’s _not_ you, Bucky.’

‘I’m not you.’ The voice is low, it’s soft. It sounds… It sounds like Bucky, but it isn’t. It _isn’t_.

‘Jarvis, get Nat and Wanda up here now,’ Steve says, ‘Bucky get behind me.’

‘I’m not here to hurt you.’

‘Please, Steve, he’s not going to hurt anybody-’

‘Cap, stand the fuck _down,’_ Steve is losing his patience. Bucky’s safety is all that matters right now. This… _other_ Bucky, whoever, whatever he is, can’t be trusted, and Cap needs to trust _Steve_ to keep this situation contained until Wanda can get here.

And isn’t that what he’s just spent the night doing? Gaining Cap’s trust…

The Winter Soldier has his hands by his sides, his palms face out. His hair is long enough to fall across his shoulders. The face paint is deceptively simple, it changes his face enough to make him look sinister. But his eyes. His eyes…

‘Cap,’ Steve says, and he sinks into his Daddy voice, he keeps it rich and deep and thick with promise, ‘I know who this is to you, I’m not going to hurt him, but I need everybody to keep calm, keep still, and hold position until Wanda can get here.’

‘She won't be able to read him, Steve,’ Bucky says. He’s moved behind Steve, has a blanket wrapped around his waist. He’s between Cap and Steve now, and that’s a place he might be safe. But Steve doesn’t take his eyes off the soldier. 

‘No, but she can hold him, and she’ll be less destructive than Hulk or Tony.’

‘Steve please, he’s not here to hurt anybody,’ Cap is pleading with him, but he hasn’t moved, he isn’t trying to pull the gun from Steve. And the soldier is making no attempt to rush him. To leave. 

‘Stevie,’ says the soldier, his voice barely more than a whisper, ‘Listen to him, he’s right.’

And something deep inside Steve breaks at the way the soldier says, ‘Stevie.’ Somewhere he didn’t know there was anything left to break.

‘Buck no-’

‘Stevie, I’m not here to hurt you, I’m not here to hurt anybody, but he’s doing his job,’ the soldier is looking only at Cap now, has eyes for Cap only, ‘Imagine if the situation was reversed, what would you do to protect me? What would you need to be sure?’

‘I don’t… know. I don’t... ‘

‘Cap, everything is going to be fine, everybody just needs to hold position,’ Steve says again, adding to the calm that the soldier has asked for, using that head start to bend Cap, to placate.

  
  


And before anybody has a chance to respond, a red field rises up around the soldier and he steps back and into a crouch, his eyes sweeping away from Steve and the others for the first time since Steve spotted him tonight. 

‘Bucky!’ Cap screams.

Steve takes his finger from the trigger and flicks the safety back on. He grabs Cap as Cap tries to rush past him towards the soldier. ‘Cap, it’s Wanda, it’s Wanda.’ Steve drops the gun and kicks it to Bucky.

‘Don’t hurt him!’

‘She’s not hurting him, she’s protecting all of us.’

‘Stevie, stand down!’ the soldier says, and that’s a command if Steve has ever heard one, Cap freezes almost immediately, ‘He’s right, it’s Wanda.’

The soldier is looking out towards the apartment entrance and then back at Cap and Steve. Steve can see his Bucky has the gun in hand, by his side, not aimed, just ready. 

And through all of it, Cap is reaching out. Steve has to hold him back, he’s not fighting but he’s reaching for the soldier and Steve still can't be sure. He can’t risk everyone’s safety on a hunch. So he holds Cap back, shushes him, strokes a hand down Cap’s naked back, up and down. 

‘We need to clear him, we need to make sure he’s not a risk,’ Steve is saying, as he trails his fingers down Cap’s back, ‘We aren’t going to hurt him, look at him, Cap, look at him, he’s okay.’

Bucky stands behind them both, alert and ready. Steve can see him watching something outside of the room, eyes moving between it and the Winter Soldier and Steve has to assume that Wanda is in the apartment now. 

And the soldier is looking at Steve, he’s looking at Steve and it's calculated. But it’s not possessive, it’s not soft, there’s no… fear. His head is tilted and his eyes are slightly narrowed and _Jesus_ , he looks like Bucky. It’s that same assessment. That same analysis. He looks away, and then to Bucky and to Steve again and he lands on Cap, who is still reaching out but isn’t moving. Is whispering ‘Please don’t hurt him,’ over and over again, like he’s breaking down, like he’s holding on by his fingernails.

‘Cap, you need to listen to me, Cap, I won’t let them hurt him. I would never… I would never let anybody hurt Bucky. Not my Bucky, not your Bucky, understand?’

And Cap’s plea dies on his tongue. He takes a breath. The Winter Soldier is kneeling now, gracefully moving onto his knees and putting his hands behind his head. He’s watching Cap and he closes his eyes for a beat too long, and it’s relief. It’s relief on his face now.

‘Stevie, listen to me,’ the soldier says, his voice quiet, but with strength, a strength that is all Bucky, ‘Listen to Steve, listen to Bucky, they’re us darlin’ they’re us, and they aren’t going to let anything happen to me. Not when I found you. Not now I found you.’

‘Bucky, I can’t lose you again.’

‘I’m not gonna let that happen,’ the soldier says as he shifts his gaze to Steve, ‘And the good colonel here,’ something in his face hardens, but with humour, not rage, ‘He’s going to come escort me to Fury, and we’re going to sort all this out, and I’m going to be real good, everything is gonna be smooth as butter.’

Bucky hands the gun to Steve as he crouches next to Cap to take Steve’s place. ‘I’ll look after Cap, you take care of… other me.’

‘I have to go too, I _have_ to go too,’ Cap says, trying to get up, and Bucky may not have Steve’s enhanced strength, but he has a hold on Cap that Steve simply can’t equal, just the touch of his hand to Cap’s bare chest is all it takes for Cap to stop.

‘Cap, let Steve take care of him, he’s going to take care of everything, we need to be rational, I need you to pull it together,’ and fuck if that doesn’t have Cap snapping to attention, ‘I need you to get up and we need to get dressed and then we can _talk_ about this. You losing your shit right now is going to cost us time we don’t have.’

‘They’ll put him in those cuffs.’ Cap looks over at the soldier and the soldier is looking at Bucky with Cap and if Steve’s not mistaken, there is the hint of a smile there.

‘Yes they will,’ Bucky says, much more lenient of his other self being in the cuffs than he ever was of Cap, ‘And he’s a big boy, Cap, he’s going to be fine.’

He is a big boy. Much bigger than Bucky, in the shoulders, his chest, in the arms, and now that Steve isn’t in full panic mode he pays more attention to the design of the metal and not just its propensity to harm. It’s beautiful, dangerously so.

Cap is looking between Bucky and the soldier and comes to some kind of decision, because he’s getting up slowly, and Bucky, who has lost the blanket somewhere in the chaos, stands naked next to him. Both holding on to each other.

‘Stevie, if you trust them, I trust them,’ the soldier says, and Steve can see Wanda now, she’s looking between all of them from behind the soldier, she signs to Steve that Nat has eyes on them from the ceiling and that Fury is waiting outside so as not to spook anybody.

And the soldier. Steve can tell that he knows everyone’s positions already. He doesn’t know how he got in, or why Jarvis is happy to let him be here, or how he ever even found them in the first place. And even through all of that, Steve’s gut is telling him that the soldier can be trusted. 

Perhaps that works both ways. 

Cap must feel it too. His shoulders relax, his hands unclench, he leans on Bucky, and Bucky stands beside him, holding him up with his shoulders and his attitude.

‘I trust them,’ Cap says.

The soldier smirks then, eyes crinkling the way Bucky’s do, ‘It sure looks like you do.’

And Cap is blushing, ducking his head. He looks up at the soldier from under the fan of his too long eyelashes and everything Steve needed to know about the consequences of what they did here tonight is written on Cap’s face. The boy is altogether too pleased with himself.

Bucky can see it too, if the way his smirk matches the soldier’s is any indication. 

Steve takes the opportunity to use this moment of levity to gain his footing. ‘We have some cuffs we want to put on you. Wanda and I will fasten them, and we may… we need to immobilize your arm.’ Steve says to the soldier. 

The Soldier nods his agreement and Wanda signals for Fury to enter, while Bucky talks Cap into getting dressed. 

‘You won't be able to keep us apart for long,’ the soldier says to Steve, voice low, but Steve knows that Cap will be able to hear him.

‘I don’t doubt that,’ Steve says, ‘But we need to make sure you are who he thinks you are. Need to be sure that you won't hurt us, or him.’

‘Yeah, I… I can understand your concern.’

Fury enters the room far enough to place the cuffs in Steve’s hand, but he says nothing. Wanda closes in on them so she can direct the force field away from where the soldier has his hands.

‘Steve?’ she asks, ‘Do you need anything?’

‘I think we’re okay. I just need you to come with us, we’ll get him into one of the containment rooms and we can question him there.’

‘Steve,’ she says again, this time putting her hand on his forearm, squeezing gently, ‘You may want to put some pants on.’

Fuck his life sometimes. Honestly. 

It takes some time in the end, to get themselves organised. No one had anticipated their security being breached like this - there is zero precedent for it. The containment units need to be set up for a guest that isn’t the hulk, the system needs to be tested by someone that isn’t a sentient artificial intelligence system on the fritz, and the occupants who might not be safe in the event of the winter soldier going rogue are airlifted out. 

If Steve had his way that would include Bucky. But Steve knows two things to be true; Bucky is an avenger now - and has just as much right, and capability, to be treated as one. And; Bucky has more emotional capacity to deal with the fallout from whatever might happen here in his little finger, than Steve has in his whole body.

He _needs_ Bucky. They all do.

The soldier, locked away behind the glass, cuffed, is sitting quietly and staring out at Steve and Fury with no expression at all. It’s the face that Bucky wears to a mission. He shouldn’t be in there. Steve recognises that he hates it long before Bucky is due to arrive with his soft words and kind smile to make it worse. 

They can, under no circumstances, allow Cap to see the soldier like this.

‘How long are you planning to keep him in there,’ Steve asks Fury.

‘Up to you,’ Fury is staring back at the soldier, he doesn’t bother to look at Steve when he’s talking to him, ‘He’s dangerous, whether he’s Hydra or not.’

Yes he’s dangerous, but does he deserve this? After everything he’s been through? ‘He’s no more dangerous than me. No more than Bruce. Or Tony. Or Wanda.’

‘That’s true.’

‘So who gets to decide, it’s not just up to me.’ Steve knows Nick is lying about that. Steve is too compromised for the decision to be left anywhere near him.

‘He won’t be allowed out of the compound. None of the dopplegangers will. Even Scott, after the stunt he pulled last time.’ Fury crosses his arms, shifts back in his seat, ‘But I think I can get this James Barnes released to you, here. If I can get Tony to modify some of Jarvis’ code. He obviously isn’t recognising him as a threat.’

‘Is Tony even here.’ Steve asks, unaware that life has been going on around him outside of this mess.

‘He’s around.’

‘That’s a good start.’ Steve is not a fan of the way Nick is talking around him and the situation. A clear answer would be preferable to this. But he’s distracted from starting an argument by the first words from the soldier.

The voice has that same softness, calm focus, when it comes through the clear cell walls, ‘You guys have a nice set up here.’

‘Security seems to be a little lax,’ Nick says, eye never leaving the soldier.

‘Security doesn’t mean much to a man like me, Sir.’

The word sends a shiver down Steve’s spine, but it’s fear, not want. It’s Bucky’s voice, Bucky’s face. But the inflection is all wrong. There’s no subservience in that tone. It’s all a farce. The ‘Sir’ is a slap, nothing more. 

‘I bet,’ Nick un-crosses his arms and leans forward, folds his hands together under his chin, ‘Wanna tell us what it is you're doing here?’

‘I’m here for Steve.’

Nick finally takes his eye off the soldier to look at Steve.

‘My Steve,’ the soldier clarifies.

‘Where have you been for a month?’ Steve asks, it’s something he’s been wondering all night. Why would he show up for Steve now? Where has he been?

‘Avoiding Hydra. Laying low. Waiting for you.’

‘Waiting for us?’ Steve pushes forward in his chair, ‘Waiting for us? What does that mean?’

‘I stayed near the portal, in case I needed to open it again to get out. And usually…’ The soldier looks away, closes his eyes, before turning back to Steve, ‘Usually at the point where I come through, one of us, or both of us, is there. I didn’t want to stray too far from there, I waited for you to come to me.’

‘But we weren’t anywhere near there.’

‘There are some… other reasons why Bucharest may have been the spot to pull me through.’

‘Are you… You were there? When we arrived’ It makes sense to Steve then, that Bucky must have been at the site at the same time they were. They just couldn’t see him. But he could see them. 

‘I hitched a ride.’

‘You went small? Like Scott?’

‘I did.’

‘And then what?’ Steve wonders how long the soldier has been in the compound. How long was he in the room?

‘And then I made my way into this facility.’

‘How?’

‘How did I get in?’ the soldier asks, face blank. He’s giving them nothing. It would probably be more disconcerting if Steve hadn’t seen Bucky wear this very same face, use this very same voice, mid mission. This is Bucky Barnes in mission mode. This might be the Winter Soldier, but it is, Steve has to admit, it is also Bucky. He is in there. 

‘How did you get in? How did you breach security?’ Nick asks, leaning even further forward in his chair.

‘I had a feeling, if this facility was anything like Stark’s compound in my universe, then Friday or Jarvis would recognise anyone entering through the hangar - even miniaturised. So I waited some time, enough time for you all to have started a debrief, or eat, or whatever it is this team chooses to do post mission,’ the soldier cocks his head at Steve then, as if the team’s behaviour might rest squarely on his shoulders. 

Steve feels irrationally guilty that they would debrief rather than eat after a mission like that. And what that says about his leadership... 

‘Did you disable Jarvis in some way?’ Nick tries to get the soldier to circle back to his point.

‘I didn’t have to. I came in through the vents, and Jarvis just… welcomed me. Told me you’d been waiting for me.’

‘Fucking, what?’ Steve says, Nick cocking his eyebrow with a similar sentiment, ‘Jarvis are you kidding me?’

‘All of my bio-metric analysis categorises this as James Buchanan Barnes, Colonel, with some modifications. And the Sergeant has full access to the compound. Just as both iterations of you do.’

‘Jarvis, that can’t be in your programming,’ Steve argues, as the soldier hides a smile (Steve can recognise it, it’s so familiar).

‘It was never stipulated, but I am capable of making decisions based on past experience and statistical analysis. I deemed the Sergeant to be cleared for access.’

‘He can’t be serious,’ Steve says, turning to Nick.

‘I assumed our Sergeant would be pleased to see him.’

‘Jarvis, you gave us no warning.’

‘I was asked not to interrupt you except in the case of an emergency,’ Jarvis answers, as if this is obvious. And Steve gives up arguing with a computer.

‘Why?’ Fury asks, ‘Why the subterfuge. Why not show yourself.’

‘I couldn't trust you. Shield can never be trusted.’ The soldier looks to Steve as if he should understand. Steve does understand. 

‘Then why risk it at all?’ Fury’s tone is skeptical.

‘Because you have Steve. I followed you for intel, I needed to know for sure if he’d been here, if you knew anything about any other rips or events that might have been Steve or Scott coming through. And I found the research. I went to Bruce’s lab, I found Steve’s room but it was empty… eventually I found your apartment.’

‘I’m surprised Jarvis didn’t just tell you where he was,’ Steve says under his breath.

‘The Sergeant isn’t cleared for that level of security, Colonel,’ Jarvis says, with more sass that a computer system has any right to. 

‘That doesn’t answer my question,’ Nick says, ‘Why risk all this,’ he gestures to the room, the cuffs, the containment.

‘It’s Steve,’ the soldier says, ‘He’s my everything.’ He says it like it's a fact. Like it's a given. ‘He’s the reason I breathe.’

Nick has his eyebrow raised. He passes his eye to Steve, gauging his reaction no doubt, and must be happy with what he sees, because he nods. 

‘And Hydra never caught you?’ Fury shifts again, crosses his arms.

‘Not this time, no.’ The soldier says with a sad smile. His eyes behind all that black smudge are haunted in a way that Steve has never seen. Not in the mirror, not on Cap, not Bruce or Tony. He’s seen something close, in Nat’s eyes once or twice, when she’s let it slip. He’s seen something close in Wanda’s eyes, on the nights that she drinks alone. But it’s not close enough. This is… Steve is afraid of what it would take to cause that kind of pain. He’s terrified. 

And then something in his eyes changes. Steve smells Bucky before he hears him, hears him before he sees him. And so does the soldier, even through the hulk proof glass. 

When Bucky gets let through the door to the outer containment area, silence falls on the group.

‘Director Fury,’ Bucky says, quiet, firm, ‘I’d like to sit in if I may.’

‘Knock yourself out,’ Nick replies, after a beat, looking Bucky up and down, with his hair wet enough to have dripped down into his collar, a collar wide enough to show the bruises on his neck. Steve’s collar actually, it’s Steve’s sweater he’s wearing.

‘Cap okay?’ Steve asks, and surprises himself that that’s the first thing to come to mind. 

‘Wanda took him to Scott, they’re in the common room, getting coffee.’

‘And you?’

‘I told him I’d check on Bucky.’

Bucky. Not the soldier.

They all turn to the soldier but the soldier is watching Bucky. He is no doubt taking in all the ways that Bucky lets himself be seen. He’s just had a shower, he’s marked up with bruises, his eyes are full of a hunger to help, to be useful. The sweater that’s too big, the yoga pants that cling to his calves. The bare feet. The bowl of water he’s carrying. It’s all a lesson in vulnerability. And Bucky wears it with pride.

‘Can I go in there?’

‘No!’ Steve says at the same time as Fury says, ‘What for?’

‘I’d like to clean his face, get him some food. Talk to him without the glass between us?’

‘No.’

‘Okay.’ Nick nods.

‘Nick,’ Steve is looking at him, willing him to listen.

‘He’s got the cuffs on. He’s got no reason to hurt Barnes. It would only make things harder for him at this point.’

‘Buck,’ Steve turns to Bucky, turns his pleas to the source, ‘Please don’t.’

‘You got to sit with Cap. He didn’t need all of this,’ Bucky gestures around at the fortified wall, the cameras, the automated gas canisters in the ceiling, ‘Why is this other me so different from the other you?’

Fuck. It’s not fair of him to look at Steve like that. It’s not fair for him to be so perfect. Steve has no control over his answer. He nods his head.

Nick uses a remote to slide the cell door open, and Bucky walks inside. The soldier watches his every move. He’s sitting on a padded chair in the cell, Bucky sinks down and kneels by him, takes a cloth from his bowl. He squeezes out the excess water and then places the bowl on the ground and brings the cloth up to the soldier’s face.

‘May I?’

The soldier nods. And Bucky closes the distance, runs the cloth through the black paint on the soldier's face. He takes his time, wiping away the dirt, the camouflage, and every bit more that he cleans, is a crack to Steve’s heart. Is that little more that the soldier looks like Bucky. 

‘Are you okay?’ Bucky asks.

The soldier takes his time to answer at first. Looking Bucky over up and down, from side to side, finding everything he might need to know etched into the open expression on his face. ‘I’m okay.’

‘Have you been eating?’

‘Enough.’ The soldier smiles. ‘I’m really okay.’

‘What if I told you we can’t send you back.’

‘Bucky, _no,’_ Steve can’t let him give the soldier any reason to lash out. 

But the soldier looks to Steve and shakes his head, once, slowly. 

Bucky carries on despite the interruption, ‘Are you happy to stay for a while, if we can’t send you back? Would you stay here in the compound?’

‘With Steve?’

‘With Steve, and Scott, and us.’

‘I don’t need to go anywhere else.’

Bucky looks out at Fury and Steve, sitting on the other side of the glass, ‘Can you authorise that, director? Can he stay in the apartment with us?’

‘I think we could arrange it with Tony, and Jarvis.’

‘What about Steve?’ the soldier asks, ‘You’re not going to ask the good Colonel for permission?’

‘Steve already trusts you,’ Bucky says. Like he can read Steve’s mind. Like he knows that even before Steve does. ‘He just needs to be sure you won’t hurt me.’

‘I don’t want to hurt anybody,’ the soldier says, quietly, solemnly.

And he doesn't know why, or maybe he does. But Steve believes him.

‘I’ve already put the protocols in place, Colonel, Director,’ Jarvis says, ‘I can now differentiate between the Winter Soldier and Bucky.’

Steve has words he wants to spit at Jarvis, but now is probably not the time. 

‘The Pym particles and the suit stay with me,’ Fury says.

The soldier nods. 'That's fine. I don’t need them anymore.’

And somehow that’s it.

Somehow that’s enough for Nick. He doesn’t even ask Steve. Doesn’t clarify it with Tony, though Steve assumes Tony is working on Jarvis’ programming in the background and is getting all of the parameters in place as they speak. It’s just like Tony to want to invite more chaos into the compound.

‘Rogers, get in there, get it organised.’ Nick speaks as he stands, flapping his cape behind him as if it offers its own authority.

‘Right.’ Steve is not sure what’s even happened. Before he even finds his feet, Bruce has come down to take the Pym particles and get them back to his lab. Helen is there to check on the soldier’s blood pressure, brain activity, make sure none of the travel or miniaturization has caused any issues for him in this universe. Steve removes the cuffs with a strange separation of brain and body. And it’s possible the soldier is just as shocked. He’s hardly moved or spoken during the entire process.

In the end it’s Bucky who breaks the spell.

‘Okay,’ Bucky says, putting an arm under The soldier's metal arm, ‘Let’s get you to Cap.’ And it’s all the soldier needs to hear. He’s up. He doesn’t push Bucky away, holds onto his arm like it’s a gift. Like the sensation of the touch is a comfort. Which it must be, after so long alone. And Steve can well understand the compulsion to clutch at that comfort and drink from it like a man dying of thirst.

When they finally make it upstairs, they have no time to brace themselves.

‘Buck!’ Cap breaks two chairs in the common room on his way into the Soldier's arms. ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh _fuck_.’

‘Stevie, it’s okay, I’m right here, I’m okay.’

‘Jesus Christ Bucky, when Scott told me he’d lost you, when he told me-’

‘Hush now, darlin’’ the soldier whispers, lifts a hand up to Cap’s cheek and cups it, ‘I found you now, that's all that matters.’

Cap leans into that hand and closes his eyes. ‘It is,’ he whispers back, ‘It is.’

Steve knows Cap, knows that he won’t tell the soldier what happened to him in that bank vault. Not today. Maybe not ever. Unless the soldier can coax it out of him. And maybe he can. Maybe that’s how they work.

They spend the next minute standing together, their foreheads touching, their hands resting on each other's chests. It feels like too intimate a moment for Bucky and Steve to be a part of. But Steve feels like he can’t look away.

He’s watching his past and his future. He’s watching his heart laid out to bare. He’s watching a love he didn’t believe could even be real. And he’s seeing himself there. Himself and Bucky. 

He sees Bucky turn his head to look at Steve, he feels him slide his hand into Steve’s hand, lock their fingers together. 

‘We should let them have some time,’ Bucky says quietly, leaning up to speak into Steve’s ear, ‘Once they’re settled in. We should give them some space just the two of them.’

‘Let’s just see how we go,’ Steve says, reluctant to let them out of his sight for too long. He trusts the soldier, but he doesn’t trust that trust. Doesn’t feel like he’s earned it.

And Scott, Scott has been watching the whole exchange. It’s as if he’s decided they’ve had enough time to themselves, and he jumps in, jumps _on._ Wraps both Cap and the soldier into his arms and cries out to them. 

And the Soldier surprises Steve by opening his arms and drawing Scott in. 

It’s such a Bucky thing to do. It gives him more hope than anything else tonight that he is doing the right thing.

Bucky looks at him with narrowed eyes, but there’s a smile on his lips, and Steve squeezes Bucky’s fingers gently, pulls him closer and clears his throat.

Cap and the soldier turn to look at Steve and Scott draws himself away to sit at the table and wipe his tears. 

‘Scott, you should get back to your room, get some sleep,’ Steve says, and Scott jumps to do as asked, but doubles back to look at the others.

‘What about Bucky and Cap?’ Scott asks, ‘Where are they sleeping?’

‘They’ll be staying with me,’ Steve levels him with a look to brook no argument, but there is none. Scott just smiles at Steve with a smug, knowing expression. So Steve ignores it. He looks to Cap and the soldier instead, ‘Come on, you two can take my guest room.’

It’s not a foolproof plan. There's Plenty for Steve to clean up before they can get settled. And changing the sheets on his own bed, putting away the lube, the ropes, the cock ring. Flashes of Cap’s golden skin, Bucky’s pink, wet, mouth, bodies moving underneath him, the memories hit Steve a little harder now that the evidence of their session is in front of him. But he chases them away. Puts them in a box and doesn’t touch them for now. 

‘You want us to sleep in here?’ The soldier asks, looking around the plain room, grey covers, a whitewashed panelled wall behind the king bed. An empty walk in and ensuite with only a shower, no bath. Only one shower head. ‘You don’t mind?’

He can’t answer that honestly because actually he does. He does mind. He doesn’t want them so close to Bucky. Close enough to hurt him. But Bucky saves him the trouble.

‘He hates it,’ Bucky says with a laugh. ‘But he’d hate you being in one of the guest apartments more. At least here he can keep an eye on you.’

‘Yeah, checks out.’ The soldier nods. ‘Sounds like dumb labrador logic.’

‘Hey,’ Steve starts, but Bucky laughs along with the soldier. 

Cap hasn’t said anything. He’s just followed the soldier around, never taking his eyes off him. Touching a part of him constantly, never letting there be a moment where their bodies don’t meet in some way. 

‘Okay, but seriously, you should get some sleep. We all should,’ Steve looks at Bucky and starts to herd him into the master bedroom with a flick of his eyes, ‘It’s late.’

As Steve follows Bucky out to the lounge, Cap stops him with a hand to his forearm.

‘Thank you,’ he says, eyes shining, ‘Thank you for letting us stay.’ And he leans in to kiss Steve’s lips, his other hand reaching around to the back of Steve’s head to pull him close. ‘Thank you for keeping him safe.’

‘Always,’ Steve says in reply, too shocked to pull away. But Cap lets him go with a smile, pats down the hair at the back of his head that had gotten caught under his hand.

‘Good night you two,’ Bucky grabs Steve by the hand and tugs him out the door, waving to the others behind him, ‘See you in the morning.’ 

‘Goodnight,’ the soldier calls. Cap stares out after Steve and Bucky as they close the door and he’s smiling.

Steve wonders whether they’re going to talk about it, Cap and the soldier. What happened earlier tonight. What happened between the three of them. But it’s none of his business. 

The bed is freshly made. Bucky has had a shower and Steve doesn't have the energy for one himself. So he crawls in under the covers behind Bucky, pulls him close, tucks him into his chest with his arms around him, slotting them together like puzzle pieces. 

‘Are you really okay, baby?’ he asks with a whisper, Jarvis has turned the lights out and the darkness has settled over them like a blanket. 

‘I feel good, I think. I feel… like we can sort it out tomorrow. Like it’s going to all be fine.’

‘Are you worried?’

‘About the soldier?’

‘Yes,’ Steve says, ‘No. About us.’

‘Honestly?’ Bucky asks, turning around in Steve’s arms to look up at him in the dark.

‘Honestly.’

‘I probably always will be.’ Bucky stops Steve from speaking with a finger to his lips. ‘And that’s normal I think. We work together, our job is crazy. We have stressors that other people don’t have.’ Bucky softens his words by running a hand through Steve’s hair, ‘But we also have an amazing insight into what this could be, what we might be to each other and I… I want that for us.’

Steve can see Bucky even without the lights. He can see what that admission means to him in his wide eyes, can hear it in his shaky breath. And he can hear Cap and the soldier having a similar hushed conversation in the other room. He knows what Bucky means and he… he can’t deny that he agrees. He wants it too.

If he’s totally honest with himself… he thinks maybe he’s already more than halfway there. 

Which is terrifying. 

And maybe… Maybe that’s something that Bucky deserves to know.

He reaches a hand up to Bucky’s and pulls it free, brings it down to his chest to hold it between them. ‘I want that too, baby,’ Steve says, bringing Bucky’s knuckles to his lips to press a kiss there, ‘I want to love you like that, like you’re the reason I breathe.’

He hears Bucky suck in a breath and he pulls him tighter, brings Bucky’s head in to tuck it against his chest.

‘I think… I have a feeling I’m halfway there already.’

And Bucky freezes in his arms. Freezes and then melts. Every part of him just sinks into Steve, like his strings have been cut. Like he’s finally free. ‘Steve?’ he whispers, lips pressing against Steve’s skin, ‘I think I am too.’

And Steve holds him. Reaches down with his mouth to kiss Bucky’s forehead. He closes his eyes and breathes him in.

If this is his everything, he has more than he ever could have asked for. 

He falls asleep with Bucky in his arms and the truth on his lips. He’s not alone anymore. He’s in love.

  
  


\---

When the wakes up its to the unmistakable sound of fucking. It’s not coming from the guest room though, that Steve can tell. It’s coming from the apartment.

Steve has to know, has to be sure that it’s not something dangerous, that it’s just exactly what he thinks it is, he leaves Bucky sleeping and glides quietly into the lounge. And yes, it is. It is exactly what he thought it was. Cap is sitting in the armchair, and the soldier, the soldier is in his lap. His naked chest is staring Steve in the face. He’s hit first by the scars, so much scar tissue at the point where the metal arm meets flesh. Scars that have a kind of beauty, a map of the resilience of the soldier. A testament to his strength. 

He’s hit second by the size of him. So much bigger than Bucky, wide through the shoulders, his arms thick, he thighs thicker, his hair long and flowing down his back, sticking to the sweat of his body as he rocks into Cap, one hand, his flesh and blood hand, sinking into Cap’s hair and tugging at it, pulling his head back. The other pressing against the back of the chair. 

Cap has eyes only for the soldier, but the soldier is looking up, looking at Steve, and he’s smiling, smiling as he rides Cap’s cock.

‘You like to watch, Colonel?’ he says, smile turned fierce, ‘You’re not the only one who can put on a show you know.’

Steve isn’t sure if he’s supposed to answer. He wouldn’t know what to say if he was. 

‘Since we might be here for a while,’ the soldier is still watching Steve, still smiling, ‘Maybe there’s some things we could show each other?’

Cap has his hands on the soldier’s waist, holding him while he fucks up into him, and Steve is frozen in place watching them together. He watches as Cap comes and the soldier follows, biting his lip, quiet, painting his come up Cap’s chest. 

He sees Cap look over at him, smiling, blissful. More at peace than Steve might have ever seen anyone. 

He knows Bucky is behind him before he feels the hand on his back. Before he hears the ‘Wow,’ breathed into his skin. 

And he knows. He knows this is more trouble.

But maybe it’s trouble worth making.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> Looks like I have more to write for this universe. There might be a soft epilogue some time in the new year. And I potentially have a companion piece to write that will close the loop on the Original Recipe Universe.
> 
> For now, I hope you've enjoyed this. I hope it's been as fun for you to read as it has been for me to write.
> 
> Come scream at me in the comments. I love so much to hear from you.
> 
> I have more replies to make from last week, but this chapter was so hard to write, I think my heart and my brain were having a hard time letting go...
> 
> I'm here on [tumblr](https://darter-blue.tumblr.com/) if you want to come and chat. I always love to hear from you.
> 
> but - until next time...
> 
> Good night. Good luck. All my love.


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